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it's the bewitching hour
10/28/2007 9:28 am Last Read: |
so october is almost over! that means i'll be reflecting back on last year. what's changed? what has stayed the same? what were some things that stand out to me looking back? we shall see, we shall see. first things first, which is my daddy(which of course as any little girl would say is the bestest in the world. which i think isn't a contradiction, we all just have amazing daddies.haha). at first i really wasn't talking about him though. i was just alluding to him here and there and we weren't offical offical. here are some of the posts where i'm musing about us before we become offical: come inside the wall almost i also had my first thoughts that i'm sure alot of us as adults or as people go through. the disenchantment of our society and wanting to go back to simpler things. be it a 'simpler' time or for me a simpler area. right now i'm not as freaked about it as i was then. i am working(because i feel we are never done, we merely have to work at it)on being here now. i am working in my classwork, i am working on my relationship and other ones and with the energy put out, i will be put in the direction i need to go. which is not always what i thought or what i want, but will accept this is where i need to be now. urk afterwards i had an epiphany and here it is/was: value i say is because it never goes away. it just stays inside yourself deep down. so sometimes you need to go digging or you just need to re-read in order to remember the important things..or things you've gone through. and then i write about daddy and i becoming offical. though it is interesting and to me shows something too. i was so wrapped up in not being hurt and not being used by another long distance relationship that i didn't realize he told me he loved me. until recently i thought i was the one that told him that and that i was the first one to share my whole feelings with him. isn't it funny? even though life is so much more, you come into the world alone, you live your life alone, and you die alone. nothing cryptic. just in this life people tend to forget so much is based on our own perceptions our own will. and that we make our own decisions and alot of times..things happen when you are personally ready to move forward. so interesting. here it is: complete i was having a hard time in school last semester due to the classes i was taking and due to a teacher that was difficult and also rude. i wrote about it here and i also thought the other half of my blog was just plain funny: *shrugs* here is a post that chronicles some of alt's early screwups before it got UBER sloow! pretty please!!! here i am professing my geekiness: your wrong i lost a friend here, as i said though our relationship was always hot and cold. we'd get along then we'd keep fighting and finally he just said he was done so i was like oh okay. it was disappointing but i still feel like i made an impact if not just a small one on another person's life which is a good thing i think: open arms and the weather was getting cooler: OH BEGIZITS!!! it's not as cold as it was last year(thank you global warming) but it still is getting cold. i also started to go to pagan meetups: hypocritical i realized that they are regular people just like you and me unfortunately. and just because your one religion doesn't mean your open minded or 'aware' or anything. but we all have our paths to follow and our places to grow. i still am going and i've made friends with some. no enemies which is a good thing, just people i haven't met. for the most part i find people are very open, accepting, and loving. you get a couple that don't quite get it and a couple who are just for show but as i said we all are here for different reasons. i had another a-ha! moment: readjustment as well as finding this really great myth that i think everyone should read: i needed this october was a busy month! november surely will be even busier. i feel like i've grown more into myself and more able to handle the pressure and more aware. +1 to me, but i still am growing. happy shaman and halloween to all!! |
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10/28/2007 3:31 pm |
That's all we can do is keep growing. I still do at the old age of 37, lol      Stroke Awareness - the life I save could be yours!
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10/28/2007 7:57 pm |
That's all we can do is keep growing. I still do at the old age of 37, lol 
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10/28/2007 10:23 pm |
i think we always keep learning even if were 100. I feel you're 100% correct. I also feel that if we aren't learning then well something isn't right. Stroke Awareness - the life I save could be yours!
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 10/29/2007 8:29 am |
Sounds like things are going ok with you, that's good No, no, don't speak--for some moments in life there are no words. Willy Wonka   
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10/31/2007 2:17 pm |
Isn't it interesting to read back through your old postings and see how much you've grown? I do that every once in a while, too.
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