Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

cuzisaid 53F  
5595 posts
8/11/2014 8:12 am
Not a Buddahnition, but define....

This post is only viewable by ALT.com members.
Join ALT.com now!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


lastguymn 56M

8/11/2014 9:51 am

*circling this definition very carefully...warily keeping an eye on where those wooden clogs are at all times*

definition...vanilla sex...lots of ways to go with this...

Vanilla sex is sexual contact that is rote, obligatory, predictable, dissatisfying, or selfish. It lacks a sense of adventure, exploration,and most importantly, connection between the participants.

There is no clear litmus test for vanilla sex, but if in the acts of sexual congress you find your mind frequently considering whether or not you paid the water bill or doing an inventory of your cupboards for the ingredients for a meal you will be preparing in the future, you may be having vanilla sex. Consult an expert if necessary.


~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles


Sucker4Ever 112M
6750 posts
8/11/2014 11:33 am

    Quoting  :

2ndTimeHere

I'm with that guy!

Now would you please lie back down and go back to reading your vanity Fair mag so I can finish


“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.”


Sucker4Ever 112M
6750 posts
8/11/2014 1:47 pm

By the way, T, I can finish those wooden clogs for you. I was thinking . . . Maybe a nice dark red so that when you stomp all those people to death, you won't stain your already red stained death-clogs!

Yeah, that's right, I came all the way back here just to say that. And, now that I'm here, I also agree with Wicked!

I'm in a colorful, shoe finishing, agree with everyone mood today, T!

By the way, speaking of sex . . . I would take chocolate, strawberry, peach, and, since things are sooooo desperate and it's been soooo long, yes, I would even take vanilla sex right now!

Well, guess I’ve done enough damage here; see ya around . . .


“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.”


SylviaSoulier 58F
8209 posts
8/11/2014 5:48 pm



For me it is sex without connection, without energy, without being present.

It can be enjoyable at the time but ultimately lacking in terms of satisfying.


tahimikdrifter 53M
8008 posts
8/11/2014 6:46 pm

I'm surprised no one mentioned pudding.


cuzisaid replies on 8/13/2014 3:04 pm:
One of my favorite Utube clips, btw!

'Dean Winchester: PUDDING!'

jenny14 75T  
90125 posts
8/12/2014 3:37 pm

cuzi

An absolute hard limit for me is underage!!!!!

------------------------------------------------

Vanilla sex to me is sex without any fetish....

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 5:46 pm

    Quoting ralph696969:
    the first few times I had sex, til I figured some stuff out
Ya know, that answer is so you and I think you know something most of us dont.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:11 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks, Katie.

To some sex is sex and then you see others who say NOT INTERESTED IN VANILLA SEX ( not d/s) for me.

Some are obviously very into S&M so that makes sense that they want that to be a primary component, but for the ones who vehemently state they arent into anything that would be considered S&M rough, ie., blood, bruising etc. that got me wondering what individual peoples 'bar' of vanilla is and why.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:15 pm

Me either, D.

Then again, neither of us decry it an offense not to be tolerated

Thanks for chipping your 2 cents into the pot.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:22 pm

    Quoting lastguymn:
    *circling this definition very carefully...warily keeping an eye on where those wooden clogs are at all times*

    definition...vanilla sex...lots of ways to go with this...

    Vanilla sex is sexual contact that is rote, obligatory, predictable, dissatisfying, or selfish. It lacks a sense of adventure, exploration,and most importantly, connection between the participants.

    There is no clear litmus test for vanilla sex, but if in the acts of sexual congress you find your mind frequently considering whether or not you paid the water bill or doing an inventory of your cupboards for the ingredients for a meal you will be preparing in the future, you may be having vanilla sex. Consult an expert if necessary.
Sexual congress? Hang on a sec, I gotta place a call to Holland, cuz I want the pointy toes for you since you two step so well.

There are many answers, true, BUT generally only ONE per person and they cant be wrong so......

When you say " id never go back to vanilla" what mental picture or circumstance POPS into your never stops thinkin head(noticed or not prior to my asking).

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:37 pm

    Quoting  :

Heya, doll. Hows kicks in the great NE?

I know you dont really use the vanilla term any more than I do.

The majority of the people I enjoy most dont use it much, if ever, because they dont see their life all the years previous to their arrival at alt or whatever defunct chat room or website they got indoctrinated into, as unworthy and undesirable.
When they do it is to strongly differentiate a situational 'lifestyle" occurrence that is acceptable with rules that greatly differ to things in our outer societal "non lifestyle specific" everyday life and may even be less than law abiding.

This subject goes round and round quite often, but I wonder if anyone sees how much less tolerant people become once they stop desiring something a lil differrent and actually consider themselves a part of it.

The minute the mind opened that back door it what? Snapped closed the front one they walked in through?

*shrugs*

Thanks for jumpin in, man. It's nice to see you.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:38 pm

    Quoting Sucker4Ever:
    2ndTimeHere

    I'm with that guy!

    Now would you please lie back down and go back to reading your vanity Fair mag so I can finish
Bahahahaha

Oh yes! I am definitely a Vanity Fair and "are ya done yet?" kinda girl

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:47 pm

    Quoting  :

Hey there,

Soooooooo if your drunk on boozy ice cream and caffeine but have a warm furry body to cuddle up with, anything else suffers by comparison?

LMAO! I can live with that!

Awesome answer, girl(your real answer, not my interpretation). Thanks

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 6:57 pm

    Quoting  :

It is extremely person specific, QL, I agree. Not just the person making the statement either.

A good to great partner is good to great regardless of their specific tastes and I dont know for sure about you or anyone else when put to the test(hence me asking), but I cant imagine anyone of us would discount good or great sex that lacks a this or that for a chance at maybe someday, maybe getting to try something they maybe would like to do.

Then again, I firmly believe that every single one of us that claims to have a sex drive & a brain is, as needed:

1 A switch
2 100% PURE Vanilla with various toppings and add ins
3 Kinky +

My ideas arent everyone elses, so the more I ask, the more I know about what goes on around me. And why.

Thank you ever so much for kicking the thought around.

It isn't easy to answer some questions when you don't know why they are being asked or for what purpose and in what manner the answers will be evaluated.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 7:16 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you, my darling girl. I knew you'd understand what I was asking and come through like a shining star.

Im still kicking around my head, your post from a few months back asking

Would you rather have a stable and steady non kink non LS partner or
one who was into the WOW things you were into in the LS but were undependable, inconsistant and unable/unwilling to set any kind of schedule so you rarely saw them

Did anyone other than me take option 1 right out of the gate?

Maybe....1 other I think.

There were a whole lot of HELL NO I wont take anyone I can depend on. And yes, that is exactly how I saw it so I replied that dependable can be built on, instability cant.

I try not to split hairs with simple questions and that one seemed pretty cut and dry to me so why and how sooooooooooo many people were willing to vote random chance of possible pleasure still boggles my mind.

WHAT could have possibly been so awful in all their past sex lives that it was unthinkable to have it?

Its the partners not the activities, right?

Maybe cuz Im not a risk taker whereas some of yall perform death defying recreational stunts just cuz ya can. Clothed and otherwise

Thanks again, sparky sweetie!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 7:31 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    its sensual non violent sex , tantalizing , like the potting scene in the movie Ghost, also Indecent proposal has Demi doing vanilla right, tickle nipples with a feather and get a silky fine chain and tickle her asshole with it .Its all about delicacy lacy soft touches , basically its evolution at its best, really if you watch the violent way animals fuck ! Don't you think we're beyond this? Kicking nuts with clogs is bdsm, some love it and thats fine !
That pic still cracks me up. It shouldn't, but it does.

You posted one of the best bits I ever saw on it.

It's a shame so few could see it, but you were right. Not a lot of folks want to see anything but what they are looking for through their blindfold and while you do get sarcastic about NOTHING BUT KINK WILL DO you miss out on some folks getting and appreciating you.

Thank you for your super sexy when it comes to sex, reply, sweetie. As always, when I dont wanna kick ya, I just wanna squish the shit outta you.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 7:41 pm

    Quoting Sucker4Ever:
    By the way, T, I can finish those wooden clogs for you. I was thinking . . . Maybe a nice dark red so that when you stomp all those people to death, you won't stain your already red stained death-clogs!

    Yeah, that's right, I came all the way back here just to say that. And, now that I'm here, I also agree with Wicked!

    I'm in a colorful, shoe finishing, agree with everyone mood today, T!

    By the way, speaking of sex . . . I would take chocolate, strawberry, peach, and, since things are sooooo desperate and it's been soooo long, yes, I would even take vanilla sex right now!

    Well, guess I’ve done enough damage here; see ya around . . .
Oooooooooo you're gonna be my personal shoemaker?

That is awesome!

Wickie rocks. Always. Not everyone knows it as much they should cuz she doesnt share most of her life here. she shares primarily only the site specific things which makes sense.

Kinda like you do.

Id rather have NO sex than bad sex cuz at least I can give me good sex, but I dont consider something that others write about as the only acceptable kind of sex.

My vanilla has never been very vanilla. I dont think most of the people I like best around here ever were big on the kind of puritan sex that MrE describes below. I think most of just do what comes naturally and when the partner who is the same, is right, the flavor is less important than the mouth feel and pleasure factor.

Thank, LJ. I appreciate you taking the time and offering your words of wisdom and truth.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 7:52 pm

    Quoting SylviaSoulier:


    For me it is sex without connection, without energy, without being present.

    It can be enjoyable at the time but ultimately lacking in terms of satisfying.
Thank you, love.

You have a Sylviaspecific outlook on many things and I always appreciate it when you share them with me and all of us.

I see that lack of connection as between people and partners not the acts they do, but you and I both know first hand that for some, they need the act or at least the thought of it, to BECOME a person who makes a good partner.

Even if only with you.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 7:55 pm

Shocking, isn't it?

Thank God, you got here just in time!

Puddingman to the rescue!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 8:02 pm

    Quoting  :

You did not marry anyone like that!

Did you? I cant even imagine. You're too playful and 'vavoom' to even draw someone like that unless they had some serious hormonal issues that developed.

Every so often I have a guy that I do believe tell me stuff like that and I honestly cant figure if they are that lousy at knowing their partner or women in general or if there are some seriously rigid women who hate sex. I cant even imagine cuz I sure the hell dont know any.

Thank you my friend. I appreciate your answer because this kind of answer was exactly what I was asking for.

A personal set point and example of what/why. You rock!

Oh, hey! Daves Eagle market has these awesome S'mores cookies on sale in the bakery this month. SUPER yummy. You have so got to check em out if you havent yet. I dont like chocolate cookies in general, but with all the gooey choc/mallow and graham bits they are O M G!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 8:06 pm

    Quoting barwilk09:
    There is nothing wrong with vanilla, it's just another flavor. A bit lacking perhaps, for many of our pallets which is why many of us have sought out chocolate. When you don't have a lot of time it can still be quite satisfying and can get the job done, get you off.
    kaylaa
Hey K!

Thanks for popping in and adding your thoughts.

Girl, I dont know how anyone can find time to scene even weekly let alone daily, so for me, kinky vanilla is the majority of sex.

I dont call ass on vanilla, sexually or otherwise cuz it is what we all started out with. Adding on to it seems normal, yes? Like Ralph says up top, after the first couple of go rounds be it partners or months of sexual activity with one, if you still do it like a newb, it aint the flavor its the machine.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 8:08 pm

    Quoting jenny14:
    cuzi

    An absolute hard limit for me is underage!!!!!

    ------------------------------------------------

    Vanilla sex to me is sex without any fetish....
Thank you, Jenny honey.

As one of the few pure fetishists still around here, that is a valid and completely clear and understandable definition and reason for why you say you dont want vanilla sex.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/12/2014 8:15 pm

    Quoting  :



I loved that post despite almost everyone doing exactly what you said not to do.
Pick the not an option C

Ya know why I loved it? YOU posed teh question knowing after a lot of reflection and frustration that you are ok with that random ZING because you like zing and the zinger.

My needs are different so my answer was different, but a whole lot of the ALL OF THE ABOVE or ZING...NO STEADY NON KINK answers didnt seem to know why they picked that opposing answer. Some did, but like quite a bit here too many were stuck on the label and name not the reality.

Im glad you posted and asked it so well. It was a big overall learning and verification post for me.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


lastguymn 56M

8/12/2014 9:55 pm

    Quoting cuzisaid:
    Sexual congress? Hang on a sec, I gotta place a call to Holland, cuz I want the pointy toes for you since you two step so well.

    There are many answers, true, BUT generally only ONE per person and they cant be wrong so......

    When you say " id never go back to vanilla" what mental picture or circumstance POPS into your never stops thinkin head(noticed or not prior to my asking).
When you say " id never go back to vanilla"...

Uh-oh...I think I've been quoted from another comment or post of mine! Just can't escape the trail of breadcrumbs I seem to leave around here.

What pops into my head when I think about vanilla (and I'm kind of sure that I've never specifically addressed vanilla sex...instead speaking in terms of a vanilla relationship in its totality), is once again settling for a life of numb disconnect. It's not about fulfilling a checklist of kinks for me...it's having the person sleeping next to me be someone who is filled with a sense of curiosity, playfulness, and adventure...it's sharing my life with someone who is not only willing, but actually interested in unflinchingly throwing open the curtains to shed light on the darkest corners of our psyches.

Vanilla is the standard equipment package of a relationship, the bare minimum necessary to be coupled. When I say that I won't go back to that, I mean that I'm through settling for that bare minimum...I want all the cool options...the deeper connection...the insatiable hunger for one another...the acceptance...the passion...love that is demonstrable rather than just voiced. Kinky sex, D/s, and BDSM are things that I desire...they are acts that I believe can be part of building a deeper connection....but they alone do not ensure an escape from the blandness of vanilla...that takes imagination, engagement, enthusiasm, dedication, and significant effort.

Not sure if that is very clear...but it's what pops into my collective consciousness.

*runs for cover to avoid the onslaught from the most deadly weapons ever manufactured in the land of windmills and tulip bulbs*


~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/13/2014 2:30 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    Thats the sort of dom I am , a sensitive dom using the lightest of touches to tease my sub ! You are obviously the kicking squeezing type , I'm sure we all know that !!
*licks* or *kicks*

Thats me!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/13/2014 2:36 pm

    Quoting lastguymn:
    When you say " id never go back to vanilla"...

    Uh-oh...I think I've been quoted from another comment or post of mine! Just can't escape the trail of breadcrumbs I seem to leave around here.

    What pops into my head when I think about vanilla (and I'm kind of sure that I've never specifically addressed vanilla sex...instead speaking in terms of a vanilla relationship in its totality), is once again settling for a life of numb disconnect. It's not about fulfilling a checklist of kinks for me...it's having the person sleeping next to me be someone who is filled with a sense of curiosity, playfulness, and adventure...it's sharing my life with someone who is not only willing, but actually interested in unflinchingly throwing open the curtains to shed light on the darkest corners of our psyches.

    Vanilla is the standard equipment package of a relationship, the bare minimum necessary to be coupled. When I say that I won't go back to that, I mean that I'm through settling for that bare minimum...I want all the cool options...the deeper connection...the insatiable hunger for one another...the acceptance...the passion...love that is demonstrable rather than just voiced. Kinky sex, D/s, and BDSM are things that I desire...they are acts that I believe can be part of building a deeper connection....but they alone do not ensure an escape from the blandness of vanilla...that takes imagination, engagement, enthusiasm, dedication, and significant effort.

    Not sure if that is very clear...but it's what pops into my collective consciousness.

    *runs for cover to avoid the onslaught from the most deadly weapons ever manufactured in the land of windmills and tulip bulbs*
Breadcrumbs

BECAUSE so many people say it in different places and instances, it is murky as hell to know what they mean unless the commenter specifically clarifies like you did here. After three years of you, lol I now have more understanding in that last comment than I did from the previous years combined.

That was kind of my point in the post.

We use the same terms around here but damned if we dont miss out on the realization that we all have different definitions just as much as we have different likes and desires.

Kinda hard to use the same game board together when Im playing checkers and the other person is playing chess, ya know?

Thank you, Dibs honey. I truly appreciate you taking the extra time to explain your version of vanilla waffling for and to me

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/13/2014 2:39 pm

    Quoting  :

I figured it couldnt have started off like that. It just didnt make sense.

Shit happens doesnt it? With or without us. Maybe sometimes because of us, but adapt we have to either way.

Thank you, gorgeous. I appreciate you always jumping in with your wise words, acceptance of life imperfect and humor. Im so very glad you are my friend xo

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/13/2014 3:01 pm

    Quoting  :

You've been kicking around here even longer than I have. In all this time, you'd think the site would have split off into different ones where the vast varistions of likes could be accommodated in some sort of structured way.

For all the "open minded' crowing that gets done, lol I have never been in any group of people that has more rules and closed borders once you become a member.

It has GOT to be an internet thing where you see cross dressers lumped with leather men, lumped with kinky bondage lumped with S & M all under the same general nonsense catch all heading.

While they can and do at times overlap in people, it really isnt all that common that people are heavily into exploring or engaging in more than 1 or two of those in RT either in private or in public groups. They are just very very different mindsets.

I dont necessarily think anyone has it wrong with the iffy titled vanilla repulsion, cuz you and I both know its their own lackluster experiences they dont want to revisit, but, like I mentione to Lg above, we think were kinda playing teh same game and we really arent.

The simplest things we SHOULD be asking and looking at in each other somehow got lost amidst the grandiose titles and our secret pleasure at being part of some special club that isnt particularly secret or special.

LOl Arent you the one who said you've never had a particularly stellar BJ? That always cracks me up to think about it, because you're beyond attractive and Im sure had women falling all over you so lots of sex vanilla or otherwise doesnt make any sex good sex. Lackluster just sucks regardless of who, where, why or what we call it.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/14/2014 2:31 pm

    Quoting  :

*grins* Well as long as you've had a 33% return on your investment, then you are good.

You escaped the clogs of death, yes, but that 1/3 business has earned you a *middle finger flick to the forehead*

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/14/2014 2:41 pm

    Quoting  :

Oooooooo I love the pizza analogy.

I think so too. Vanilla ice cream is the most popular flavor for a reason. Its damned good and like pizza can be stepped up with different toppings but the base goodness still stays just as good.

Thank ya, woman. I truly appreciate you chiming in.

You are one of the very VERY few that not only have common sense, a great attitude, an open mind and vast experiences in a lot of realms of LIFE in general, you also have RT experience in private and public LS activities, you actually live, love and lay with your partner/sub/husband/friend and all your combined flavors every day.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


IAmMichaelURKnot 62M
14380 posts
8/15/2014 12:19 am

Vanilla is the new kink.

The frosting on the chocolate cake.

(Yes, that can get messy.

That's why we have tongues.)

I remember now.


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/15/2014 6:58 pm

    Quoting  :

You are very welcome.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/15/2014 7:20 pm

    Quoting IAmMichaelURKnot:
    Vanilla is the new kink.

    The frosting on the chocolate cake.

    (Yes, that can get messy.

    That's why we have tongues.)
Vanilla does seem to be the taboo favorite, doesnt it?

Cake IS messy business. Not for the first time I have to celebrate the helpful nature of those darn tongues.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/15/2014 7:32 pm

    Quoting  :

Soooooo you need a few minutes to think about it, eh?

Thank you for ringing in.

You are far from alone in that feeling, girl. No doubt about it.

I was more asking what about it / how you define it that makes it suckage quality in your eyes.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/15/2014 7:55 pm

    Quoting  :

One personal fluffer for the man w/ cinnamon shag carpeting please.

Lol. Great answer, from the fella from the great upper lakes.

Thank you sweetie

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/15/2014 8:08 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    Even batman thinks it sucks !!
Im too busy grinning and nodding at the girl to think about the caped kinksader.

Thats some super hero that keeps TWO cameras and paparazzi on booty slappin standby.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/16/2014 9:44 am

    Quoting shypetboy:
    I heard your into the capped kinksaders cuzie,(2 gay unjewish lads )
A priest, a spandex clad gorilla & a non denominational androgenous engenue walk into the ACME inflatable dungeon...........

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/16/2014 9:52 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    I think I've got a pic of a non denominational androgenous priest baptising a spandex clad gorilla in a inflatable pool , but that doesn't quite cut it does it ? Your spacing me out girl !!
You're so funny. And uh, YOU started it!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


IAmMichaelURKnot 62M
14380 posts
8/17/2014 2:11 pm

    Quoting cuzisaid:
    Vanilla does seem to be the taboo favorite, doesnt it?

    Cake IS messy business. Not for the first time I have to celebrate the helpful nature of those darn tongues.
I see this as a matter of context. A person who never engages in anal sex might consider anal sex to be kinky or taboo. A person who regularly engages in anal sex might consider anal sex to be very vanilla.

I got a thrill out of tying up and binding my friends before I reached the age of ten - long before I became sexually active. I never considered bondage to be all that kinky. Nor did I ever feel the need to keep that part of my life hidden. When I was a teenager I kept handcuffs and lengths of rope in plain sight in my bedroom. I would bring handcuffs to all-night drinking parties, and would often hook-up for the night with a curious and willing partner.

Is there a line that divides kink from vanilla? I don't believe such a line exists. I don't consider vanilla and kink to occupy opposite ends of a straight-line continuum. I view bondage, missionary position, anal sex, exhibitionism, doggy-style, public sex, etc. as items on the same sex/kink/taboo/etc. menu. Like food, every individual finds some menu items to be more delicious than other menu items.

Now I'm hungry...

I remember now.


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/18/2014 8:26 am

    Quoting IAmMichaelURKnot:
    I see this as a matter of context. A person who never engages in anal sex might consider anal sex to be kinky or taboo. A person who regularly engages in anal sex might consider anal sex to be very vanilla.

    I got a thrill out of tying up and binding my friends before I reached the age of ten - long before I became sexually active. I never considered bondage to be all that kinky. Nor did I ever feel the need to keep that part of my life hidden. When I was a teenager I kept handcuffs and lengths of rope in plain sight in my bedroom. I would bring handcuffs to all-night drinking parties, and would often hook-up for the night with a curious and willing partner.

    Is there a line that divides kink from vanilla? I don't believe such a line exists. I don't consider vanilla and kink to occupy opposite ends of a straight-line continuum. I view bondage, missionary position, anal sex, exhibitionism, doggy-style, public sex, etc. as items on the same sex/kink/taboo/etc. menu. Like food, every individual finds some menu items to be more delicious than other menu items.

    Now I'm hungry...
*nods* It absolutely is a matter of context. Experience, mindset and general 'likes' set what we know, want and consider normal for us (or not).

I'd already noticed that folks that do NOT set LIFESTYLE activities as a separate part of the world or at least their world in any way except the physical activity part, rarely if ever say things that make it seem different or separate, which of course, makes sense as to them it is not. It's just another different part of everyday them, not a better or evolved part.

Thanks for jumping in with your experience and thoughts, Michael.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/18/2014 8:28 am

I don't reckon I rightly remember.

I'm pretty sure I used to know.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/18/2014 8:35 am

    Quoting  :

No kicking for you, girl.

Ya know, I mentioned in comments earlier( I think) that folks who lean toward the S&M section are the only ones I kind of understood separating traditional (which still varies per person and past partners/experiences) and the zing of that edgier sadism and masochism.

You have always expressed and interest in S&M and secondly D/s as your desire so believe it or not, YOURS is one of the few instances where I thought I already knew the answer because you've stated your specific likes all on your own.

Thanks for expanding and contributing your thoughts and feelings about it. Cake, kink or squirmy pain, we do all learn from each other.

Ya know.......cake really IS a huge fetish around here regardless of which set of lips its getting smashed into

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


McGripper 54M

8/18/2014 11:29 am

Any flavour sex, it's only technicalities that make a.difference.
I don't get any so shouldn't really comment.
Keep grinning x

The opinions and understanding portrayed in my blog are mainly unfounded, misguided or wrong.


kittykitty1260 63F
15748 posts
8/18/2014 6:41 pm

Not a fan of the word 'vanilla' in describing sex. Ive called people (under my breath) Vanilla in that they appear to be bland, or lack luster... or something along those lines... *shrugs*

In terms of my relationship, even after any spanking, nipple play, blow jobs on either end, if we wind up in missionary I'm not freaking with thoughts of 'ugh, I've been vanilla fucked'...quite the opposite for all the intense shit that led up to it...

vanilla = leaving your socks on (men)

“Who says life is fair, where is that written?”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/19/2014 9:37 pm

    Quoting  :

LOl soooooooooooooooo you're just a lil bit maybe kinda happy ya went, huh?

Girl! You just gave the perfect road map of how everything starts in each mind and then finds its own path to the promised land, from there.

Thank you!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/19/2014 9:41 pm

    Quoting McGripper:
    Any flavour sex, it's only technicalities that make a.difference.
    I don't get any so shouldn't really comment.
    Keep grinning x
YOU and your comments are always desirable!

especially if I dont have to get jealous that someone else is getting a piece of you.

What the hell is wrong with the women in your city? You'd have to install extra dead bolts on all doors and windows to keep me away from you if we lived on the same continent. That is a waste of a perfectly good man right there.

Then again, lol ya need to stop outrunning em speedy!

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/19/2014 9:46 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    I mean the definition of sex may have undefined borders too , specially with bdsm, people relieving tension in the guise of sex play !/:> I 'll take my ball pain wherever I can get it !!
I dunno what is more barbaric, that pic or teh thought of your nuts being skewered!

Definite stress relief and disconnect is desirable for many who seek out D/s, bondage or role play and S&M.

I think Ill keep my kinky vanilla twist goodness. I can get into some hard core kinks and fetishes, like CBT, just ...........dont expect much B from me.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/19/2014 9:51 pm

    Quoting kittykitty1260:
    Not a fan of the word 'vanilla' in describing sex. Ive called people (under my breath) Vanilla in that they appear to be bland, or lack luster... or something along those lines... *shrugs*

    In terms of my relationship, even after any spanking, nipple play, blow jobs on either end, if we wind up in missionary I'm not freaking with thoughts of 'ugh, I've been vanilla fucked'...quite the opposite for all the intense shit that led up to it...

    vanilla = leaving your socks on (men)
Hot Damn, woman. I wasnt even thinking of the angle of.....kink and play by any name is usually PRIOR TOO the sex sooooooooooo, lol pretty much all sex is vanilla sex now isnt it?

I dont think thats is exactly what you said, but Im taking it that way cuz it makes sense to me! Thank you, girl!

OMG! I was thinking that about men who keep their socks (or boots if they are into the cowboy thing) on as one of the worst signs of a vanilla dip n dash.

How it can be so much worse than doing it almost fully clothed spontaneously somewhere I dont know, but it sure the hell is.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/21/2014 7:16 pm

    Quoting shypetboy:
    The bull has got cute balls !
That seems to be the case with all the bulls Ive known so far.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
8/21/2014 9:17 pm

    Quoting  :

I love your answer here girl and I love your post as well.

I will be back there to comment tomorrow when I have more time because it and you deserve it.

Thank you for a light hearted stomp and lovely kick of sweet and savory sex, naughty lady.

Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black
.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~



Become a member to comment on this blog