BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
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Dominant Angst.
5/4/2008 1:35 am Last Read: |
Being a D (or whatever) is quite a perplexing thing. You want something done your way, or maybe as a D you can't really understand anything else but your own way. And it's frustrating when you can't communicate that way clearly enough so your submissive understands how to please you. They end up being confused and frustrated themselves. Being only human, you interpret a new situation and how to act upon that, based mostly on what you know of it, or your own experience. Just sometimes, when it's new territory - that framework is not familiar. Like today, I didn't want my disapproval to turn into a lecture on why I disapproved. I didn't wake up with a need to berate or degrade. What happens when those desires mismatch? Sometimes it's projection upon another person and as a D, I think there's a large chunk of being projected upon. Maybe it works the other way too... 
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5/4/2008 6:15 am |
A lot of the time, perhaps not quite all the time, the appropriate look does the trick. I would have thought you were good at that Violently . . .
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5/5/2008 4:27 am |
I don't really subscribe to psychoanalytic ideas but there is always something gnawing away at the back of my mind when I read posts like this. I recognise the signs of projection in many D/s relationships particularly Klein's idea of Identification Projection. When things get too difficult to understand such as in the unfamiliar framework that you mention, these coping mechanisms seem to come to the fore to fill in the gaps in our understanding or wish to communicate our desires and needs. I have to say for me, that subtle process of negotiation is all part of the pleasure. Besides waking up with a need to berate is a horrible way to start the day...
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