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Finding 24/7 TPE male subs
1/23/2009 2:29 am Last Read: |
I have an amazing sub. He's not a doormat. He's masculine and competitive with other males. Still, he never tries to be the leader with me. He adores me and serves me daily. (We're in a 24/7 TPE marriage, aka I'm the head of our household.) I'm constantly having other Dominants compliment me on him and wish that they could find a sub like him. I tell them how I found him and how I courted him. But they continue searching in the way that brings them men who say they want to be full time submissives and want to let the woman lead, then turn out to top from the bottom and constantly fight for control. These women get frustrated and some consider leaving the lifestyle. They don't understand why they can't find the full time sub of their dreams. Well first off, let me tell you how I found my husband. It was at the opening of the So Cal chapter of Club FEm's dungeon, Man's Ruin. One of the subs caught my eye at the party. While many of the subs were lost in socializing or not knowing what to do, this one was walking around making sure women had drinks and fetching them one if they didn't, taking away empty paper plates, and was generally serving. I was impressed. One out of the dozens of "subs" there only he had the initiative to actually SERVE! He also looked very cute kneeling in the "protocol line up" of subs. (OMG, great ass!) It came to the play time portion of the party and I, being single and at the party alone, was interested in using one of the Club FEm single subs. The sub I'd watched was one of the single subs and he pushed aside three other subs to stand in front of me with a huge grin. How could I resist? We had a magical playtime; the best first scene I've ever had. One of the party attendants had never seen BDSM play before and had asked to watch. We granted him permission to not only watch, but take photos. About ten mins into playing, I forgot he was there. About Four AM we finished playing. As we were leaving Man's Ruin, he shyly invited me back to his hotel room. I broke one of my general rules and accepted. The magic continued and by check out time the next morning, I'd asked for his email address and phone number. I emailed him upon arriving home, asking how he was feeling after the play. I checked in by email again in a few days, making sure everything was still ok. I followed that call up a few days later, asking him if he'd like to come over for some play time. He jumped at the chance. From that point on, I instigated vanilla style dates and BDSM encounters. I decided where we went and what we did. The only thing he did in our courtship was ask me to marry him. Other than that, I did it all. I took control of our relationship and am now the head of our household. I have the BDSM fairy tale To find someone who would work as a non doormat 24/7 TPE sub, don't wait for the subs to approach you. Watch the single subs around you and see how they treat people. Are they deferential to the females? How do they react around other males. Are they pushy and try to talk women into playing with them or do they make themselves available and figure that if the woman wants them she'll tell them? When you find the sub who seems to fit what you're seeking, don't wait for him to ask you out.. go after him! Ask him out! Yes, he may say no. Guys generally learn how to accept no in dating early on. Women generally don't. So the fear of rejection may be strong. And the sub you have your eye on may not find you to be his perfect Dominant. But you're a strong woman! You're in control of your life; now take control of your relationships. Ask him! No isn't the end of the world! But he may say yes, starting a wonderful female led romance! While the old fashioned male controlled courtship can make a woman feel wanted, waiting for a sub who takes the initiative may net you a man who is only willing to submit sometimes (when HE is in the mood for it) in the bedroom. It's unlikely to bring you 24/7 TPE. Now, if all you're seeking is an occasional play partner or a "normal" relationship (aka male as head of household) outside of the bedroom, the sub instigated format may be what will bring you your dream. Just don't expect to find a sub suitable for a 24/7 TPE relationship chasing your around the dungeon. |
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 1/23/2009 8:50 am |
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story of finding toy with the rest of us. We're glad that you two found each other and seem to grow happier all the time. Red
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