BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
 | Blogs > OyaD > Earth Kitt's Apprentice > So what ARE you exactly? |
So what ARE you exactly?
11/27/2006 12:23 am Last Read: |
Man, I hear this so often; "you're not submissive - I don't want my nose broken, but you have submissive tendencies. You're not Dominant though because you can't be Dominant and not want to whip/beat/humiliate/do typical Dominant stuff (I struggle to keep a straight face). So what are you then?" Oh hurrah...I need to come up with a category. Am I submissive? Well at the sake of putting it in a bold answer and having even more men without a clue knocking on my door, I could say there are some traits there, but not the typical ones. There isn't anyone alive bar perhaps one or two people I trust enough to restrain me or hit me. Read it again. Only one or two people on this planet. Which means it's probably not you. So don't convince me. Does it mean I don't have a submissive streak? Well that depends on what you mean. I am not a demure, blushing kneeling-and-saying-"Yes Master" in a soft whisper. If you spank me, I'll probably re-arrange your anatomy. But to say it's not there entirely...hm...I can't say that. As in my Sanguine Addiction post there were definite submissive tones there, as there always was with Feral Boy. But it was also rather Dominant on my end because I wanted particular things, and DEMANDED them. He wound me up, but only because I allowed it. The "touch your toes while I beat you with this" never entered into it. However, trying to explain that to the typical "Dominant" is so time consuming I just don't bother and say I'm not submissive at all. Dominant? I am Dominant as in I know what I want. What I want is NOT to do all the work of restraining, beating, whipping, performing like a poodle in leather. Oh yes, I can be creative. I can give commands, I can bite and scratch (and if I can't, my interest in sex goes out the window, say sorry, HUGE turn off for me if you can't be "marked". Ho and hum), I can plot scenarios and plan with the best, I can play the role, but there still reaches a time where I would like some spoiling, some administering, some seeing to without having to say "here, now here, and harder there please, do you need a fucking diagram?" Switch? Hm...I think that's close, if you need a label. I like that struggle in bed to see who's going to get their way first. I like being on that equal footing, that equal ground where we can take ideas off one another, without me either being below or above. I like to reserve the right to have a man at my feet when necessary, and to rest my head on his knee when necessary without having to stick to a rigid role. In short...I want to do what I please. To figure out what that is, you have to leave your assumptions of what I should be at the door. Even more to the point, challenge your own wants and leave those at the door before you walk in. I am aware I scare men off. I am direct. I am not coy, I don't make typical flirtatious commentary all full of sexual innuendo and images of my nether bits. They are all slavering one minute, I can practically see the fantasy image they're building in their heads. I am the first to say "No, uh-uh, I know what you are thinking; don't. Because that isn't me. This is." They don't dig that, and they move on to the next best thing. I have to just sort of deal with that, and keep trying, like everyone else, but I cannot stress it enough; if you build up a fantasy image of me, you're selling me short. What I can be is so beyond your typical naked bird with leather accessories, you've no idea. You have to leave that shit at the door, all labels, all toys, all trappings. I work in silk and velvet, wear a collar and file my nails to points. Don't find a box for it, just work with it. Prepare yourself for serendipity. |
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11/27/2006 5:05 am |
Dear OyaD, This is so far from the person i am, but still so absolutely beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing, i have learnt so much from your posts. Have a gorgeous day Love and peace Chelsea
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11/27/2006 4:50 pm |
I like people with unique styles. And I think you are such a person.
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 11/28/2006 9:04 am |
My sincere compliments for you see beyond the boxes that words can be. While we must understand the definitions so we can learn, once we learn and understand the definition, we must move beyond to whatever the Truth is.....accepting that the journey begins within and is eternal. Sweetness. Mister GJ Marked male of the Feminine
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12/2/2006 12:49 am |
"Omniviant" Early last year there were a bunch of bloggers in just your situation. Unwilling to sit in any of the pre-cut boxes available to them because they just didnt apply. .. That's the word they came up with. DeepBlueNothing and Violently I think it was.. A word to describe the indescribable.
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12/2/2006 6:20 am |
I find absolute delight seeing people (male or female) take a stroll around a norm, tilt their head to one side, decide "nope, that's not for me" and set about defining themselves. Why should you mould yourself to fit anyone's expectations but your own? Maybe you'll change next week, next month, next year, but that's not the point - it's the doing. Goddess Bless, Isis.
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