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Words that are bullshit
1/10/2007 12:36 am Last Read: |
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about dual words, or words that are bullshit as I've come across a few of them on Alt. This may or may not be another of my sarcasm-laced satire posts. You have been warned. Vanilla = supposedly anything that isn't BDSM. In reality, a derogatory, dimissive, bullshit term used to make BDSM sound much more enlightened and cooler than it actually is. There is precious little sex that is vanilla. Hearing someone call anything that isn't BDSM "vanilla" rather reminds me of alcoholics saying they're alcoholic because they're smarter and more creative than other people and therefore have a habit. Or like parents of autistic children who use the term Indigo Children or Starchild to try and explain why their kids are incapable of functioning in the mundane world (they're too "enlightened" ). In short, it's a rationalisation, and a bullshit rationalisation at that. Because I don't use props or toys, don't practice the usual stereotypical aspects of BDSM, don't have a fancy grouping of letters in my name, S/spell L/like T/this A/all T/the T/time, don't resort to watered down torture techniques with all the danger factor carefully removed from them, I am therefore Vanilla. Yeah, keep believing that if it makes you feel better. But it's still bullshit. Fun = a term which denotes sexual play. In reality, a bullshit rationalisation for "I'm too cheap to buy a Pocket Pussy so I'll find a stupid naive person with a pulse and fuck them." "Fun" is all the benefits of dealing with a sexual professional without actually having to pay for it, and no emotional attachment as it's just masturbation with breathing props. It's usually the most boring half hour you've ever spent, and most people who partake in it are putting themselves in extreme sexual or physical risk. In short, if you're just looking for "fun" you're an idiot. You're an idiot for doing it, you're an idiot for wanting it, and you're an idiot for even thinking I'm going to go there with you. Get a fucking divorce already and quit cheating on your wife. Chances are she's just as sick of you as you are of her. Actually, I bet she's on here looking to get away from you too - would be ironic as hell if you met a complete stranger for "fun" and it turned out to be your spouse. You're not impressing me with your "fun". I'm not a performing poodle. Buy yourself some more porn vids and go pay someone for their time, at least then they're getting something out of you boring them completely stupid with your unoriginal demands. Being desperate doesn't make you kinky. It just makes you desperate. Looking to explore = someone who wishes to enter into BDSM with a guide. In reality? See "fun". It's pretty much the same thing; wanting to get off by putting on a flowerly phrase that doesn't LOOK like "I just want a shag". This is however exactly what it means. Anyone using the phrase "New submissive/Dominant seeking to explore" actually means "I watched a porn video and it turned me on, so I want someone to do all those things to/for me." Guys, please...porn videos of BDSM are NOT what BDSM is. I've seen them. I've friends who have made them, and they're bullshit. "Oh you're REALLY taking this beating" (*dramatic backswing, and then a feather light tap on the rump - designed to make a guy feel all manly about the "pain" he's enduring*), or "Ooo baby, you're being so forceful with me" (*you're probably already wanking so hard at this point that you don't see how badly the "sub" is faking it, and that smirk on her face isn't from the gag pulling back too hard, she really IS trying not to laugh*). Chances are you can't handle the real thing, not enough for a meet (meat!) and beat session anyway. Go hire a pro. bitch = An unreasonable, catty woman who doesn't give anyone a chance. Real term? A woman who is so tired of seeing the above in her inbox time and time again. No matter how many times she explains what she is and isn't looking for, she gets dozens of emails from punters who think she's going to make a special exception just for them. Why, therefore, are you surprised when you get a good dose of vitriol for your wink, cock photo and "You SAY you're not submissive, but have you ever actually tried...?" Anyone with a brain in their heads would realise why a woman goes postal at that point. We get monumentally fed up with bullshit in more ways than one. Bitch isn't an insult to me, it's a compliment. So "bitch" is a bullshit term and means nothing to me other than "Damn, she's someone I can't have, and I'm going to sulk now and call names." Yeah, and your point? Guess what? For each man offended at this post, there's probably two women bursting a gut laughing and nodding their heads in agreement. I guess we're all bitches - puts me in good company then. Feel free to add your own Bullshit terms! Maybe we can start a "Bullshit Dictionary" |
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1/10/2007 1:10 am |
"Play." One of my trigger words. Much as I love being playful -- with words, with actual toys (the ones you find in the toy departments of supermarkets) and in how I relate to people, men and women, young and old -- and much as I love playacting, believe the play's the thing, and love to quote Robert Frost on work and play -- I have zero, zip, zilch, nada, no interest in "playing" in the usual BD/SM senses of the term. Neither am I a player, nor do I want to be played. This stuff is kinda serious to me. Which doesn't mean I can't approach it (and the people within this community) with a light heart. I think I can. (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....) Cheers OyaD, -sbt, the little sneakers that could
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1/10/2007 2:48 am |
Bleuch. Don't force it, we love ya as you are (as least I do). That's so sweet of you to say. Thank you OyaD.  But you're still not getting into my pants until we're married, dear.Cheers, -sbt, and legally, in a proper church now. none of this hippie stuff
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1/10/2007 3:58 am |
Real = Whatever the current self-proclaimed guru of BDSM that I happen to be reading deems makes him look best at the time. Whichever woman hasn't turned down his ludicrous assertions of One-True-Wayism and pretention. Whichever person in the room agrees the most with him and/or kisses his arse the most.. ..Could go on and on and on with that one. ..You could use the same definition for 'true' too. This post tickled me.. Thanks, DD.
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1/10/2007 4:00 am |
LOL.. Sorry, Oya.. I was thinking 'D' and got you mixed up with DD.  My bad.
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1/10/2007 6:01 am |
Oi Oya, less of the anti man rants. I would have thought that most men would agree with you on what you've said, there are going to be the unfortunate few who feel threatened by your strongly held opinions, but if they even bothered to read your profile then they would realise that the type of correspondence you want is definitely not a wink and a cockshot. The dipping the toe in the water is likely to apply equally with men as with women and whilst I welcome it, spending the time educating the unitiated must become a drain after a while. The fact that you get all the numbskulls in a way is a compliment, you are what they idolise sexually, pity they haven't got the hang of social niceties, like polite emails. As always though your posts are thoroughly enjoyable, funny and entertaining. Oxymorons I would like to add: No limits - one you've already posted on Like to be - how does that work when it's consensual Curious - whether it's bi or BD/SM
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1/10/2007 6:30 am |
LMAO I've had one wink from a cockshot photo. Only one mind, and yeah, I'd rather they hadn't. Did I feel flattered? No. I've only got the one photo, but want some more, but cockshots are not going to be on the list. The strange thing is that Alt advise against it and suggest a clothed or facial pic is much more succesful, so where do they get off. Trolls are par for the course and I don't mind anyone having a leer over my one photo, but when the emails start flooding in I'd probably feel differently. It's not just the men that need educating on pictures, women do to, or rather some women do, gratuitous photo's of bits aren't appealing, well not to me and I'm sure I'm not a lone male on this.
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1/10/2007 6:45 am |
...in fact SBT where we not getting a virtual hit out on the word 'play'? Indeed LadeeC, and I've some notes on the blog entry I promised you to write on this (working title: I'm Not Playing) but OyaD's post called me to speak up, at least briefly. Another triggerword xLilithx mentioned: True At times I've been tempted to self-describe as a False Submissive, looking for an Untrue Domme for Fake and Phony Service. Because most of those who use the word 'True' in BD/SM have struck me as solemnly pompous windbags. Somebody else can weigh in on "Natural." Cheers, -sbt, the Genuine Artificial Vanilla of un-Natural subs
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1/10/2007 1:20 pm |
I keep thinking back to the word spoken by Edward Norton's power-animal (penguin) in Fight Club: Slide! Life's too short to get worked up over words. Words are symbols for something else--and it's the something else, not the words, that matters. Keith.
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1/10/2007 1:47 pm |
Hmmm. Catch phrases to despise-- "tell me what you're into" -- mainly and obviously so the sender can be into that too. Mah favorite email phrase. "I love a girl like you" -- sorry, for trannies only here. Roughly translated it means, "I assume you are a single minded, one dimensional charicature of a person. Interested in giving me any sex I won't. of course". Hazards of the "T". Did you think I actually think I pass because you tell me my profile pic is "cute" and you "are sure I am beautiful". Can you say "fuktards"? Hmmm. Disagree on this perhaps, but a part of me thinks the ubiquitous "troll" is slowly becoming a BS term. Roughly translating to "I am real and you are not". Which can be true, but often winds up being statement of self-importantance and snobbery. Being new and ignorant isn't wrong, but labelling everyone who doesn't follow some unwritten rules "troll" can be as much a statement about who says it as the person being labelled it. Sometimes ignorance is just that. Yeah, I know this is a grey area.
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1/11/2007 2:46 pm |
OhI think I'm in love! OyaD, anyone who can write like that and appreciate the Izzard and make me laugh like you just did now, well thats a bitch I appreciate. Oh and my man agrees with you totally on your bitch sentiments, so man hater you arent! OH and who says vanilla is bland? Anyone actually tasted proper homemade vanilla icecream made with the real pods freshly scraped out? True ( as opposed to fake) vanilla is luscious and fragrant.Vanilla essence on the other hand is just plain nasty chemical bleuugggggh. From a big admirer who wont be labelled . Cream x
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