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"You can't stamp out individuality - there's too many of us." - Cyndi Lauper
1/12/2007 12:04 am Last Read: |
A friend of mine who I love and admire dances to a very different drum; in Orange County of all places, where looking anything other than Barbie will have you ostracised. She goes through a lot of hell, but asking her to change would be roughly equivalent to asking her "Hey, stop being YOU, will you? It's embarassing us." She and I have both loved the hell out of Cyndi Lauper. She reminded me of the video of Cyndi's where she meets her date in a diner; Cyndi bops in with that bright, cherubic smile of hers, sits down, and takes off her hat; she's got wild red/orange hair. Her date reacts with disgust and everyone in the diner starts to point and sneer. The smile she was wearing slowly fades from her face - all her happiness gone, that childlike happy smile disappearing. I've seen that on the faces of so many children. Apparently this was something my mum hated my father for; but it wasn't just dear old dad who took the smile off my face - her raging born again Christianity had something to do with it, the rampant racism in school certainly didn't help. School wasn't safe, home wasn't safe. Where else was I supposed to go, but into my mind, and beyond? Honestly, I wish people would do it more, the brain's imagination is a playground. I wish it was more appreciated, rather than spurned. Daydreaming is considered lame and irresponsible...but all the art and music of the world, all the books, all the paintings, was created by someone whose way of working was staring off into space for a few hours a day. Yes, being "different" is supposedly okay. But it isn't really. It really irks me sometimes watching my son's movies with him, they always make this big point about the character who is different and how it's ok even when he/she is getting teased because sooner or later everyone accepts them and they end up being with the boy/girl/penguin they always wanted to be with. But it isn't true. People still point, laugh, sneer, throw rocks or worse. Still asked to "tone down", "oh you'd look so much better without all that stuff in your face/hairdye/weird clothes/lose some weight". The different-is-okay message seems to be bullshit. Cyndi has gone blonde and elegant now, more "acceptable". It's been said she's sold out. Maybe she just got tired of the bullshit. Maybe she just knows how to age gracefully, because she still looks unique and freaky if you know what you're looking for, and she's 50 now. She's still dyeing her hair, though it's a uniform blonde now. You can see where the "weird" is, if you're looking for it, it's just stealth weird. I can relate. I don't do the triple tone hair so much anymore; it's a bitch to try and keep up on when you've got a toddler. I stopped wanting to be an exhibit of weird ages ago because after about a decade, you get tired of trying to swim upstream in a raging river. But the weird is still there, the different is still there, if you're looking for it. If there's anything I want to teach my boy, it's difference-by-example. He doesn't need to "rebel" by wearing weird stuff solely because he wants to get a reaction, and he doesn't need to sell out in order to get the job done and blend in with the rest of the mundanes. That's a difficult balance. But being a free spirit shouldn't be something that is idealistically praised, but realistically shunned. All this introspective shit could all be a rationalisation for wanting new dreads installed, however. |
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1/13/2007 12:31 pm |
Oooh I love Cyndi.. I once saw a quote by a goth teen that said, 'We're not trying to look different from each other, we're trying to look different from you...' Which is certainly valid, as long as it is not mistaken for trying to be 'different'... Being different is much harder... But really, who can tell you how to do that... as soon as you follow what someone else says, you're not different anymore...
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