BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
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The irony isn't lost on me
2/13/2007 11:42 pm Last Read: |
Since me and the hubby are patching things up, the irony isn't lost on me; it's Valentine's Day and he's now in Amsterdam on a two year contract, and not here. Actually, for me it works out pretty well as I've rediscovered my love of personal space and the distance gives me the breathing room I need when he's gone. He has a few playmates in Amsterdam and I'm fine with that - as much as I may desire doing certain BDSM activities, energy is still reserved for sproggo. I refuse to use the term "vanilla". It's derogatory and it's bullshit - I'm just as kinky whether I'm using proper terminology or not, say thankya. My husband has always been a fellow to do things just because. Flowers on my desk at work, or bringing home treats and takeaway, fine wines, or footrubs. Partly because he was my 24/7 submissive, but mostly as serving me gives him joy, and of course I won't bitch to receive. I seriously had a hard time dating when we were split up because that seemed so rare. I mean, REALLY rare. Even buying me dinner on a date out seemed to be asking too much. Excuse me? What's all that about? I never quite understood the jealous looks from other women at work and their sniffy "My husband NEVER buys me flowers" until I re entered the dating market and realised men really just do NOT do that shit once they feel they're in there. What rubbish. I trained my submissive properly, y0. But I guess it helps he's actually submissive and not just wearing a role to get his rocks off. We had our Valentine's celebration/anniversary last weekend, In Whiche he spent a copious amount of cash of fancy chocolates, wines, new bedsheets for our bed as we slept together for the first time in a year (mmmmm, Egyptian cotton, mmmmm, silk, mmmmMMmmmm, hard shags and backrubs and paracetamol afterwards with snuggly bits). Flowers were purchased and takeaway ordered and consumed. The pricetag was much more than we've spent in a long time, but it wasn't once-a-year specific. He always did that sort of thing back in the day. And I never took it for granted as I know just how rare it is to be shown that kind of devotion, as sad as that is. So today, I won't be grousing against the commercialism/capitalism etc and so on. You shop at a supermarket, don't you? Then you support The Man daily, say sorry - hiding your own miserable nature behind anti-capitalist views is bullshit (and believe me I ain't digging the Ticky Tacky, but let's call it like it is). And since my husband isn't here in body, but is in spirit, I'm going downtown. I'm withdrawing the extra money he just transferred to my account (under HIS insistence, not mine), and I'm buying myself some flowers. I'm getting my son a Valentine's Day biscuit from the local bakery - the BIG ones loaded with frosting - and I may even stop at one of the tea rooms, where they use real china and have all sorts of delightful treats served on silver services, and treat myself to a cream tea. "Do everything smiling," he said. "Because today I'm smiling too. "Oh, and the divorce paperwork is in the room I was using. Please just leave it there. When I get home this weekend, we're going to burn it. Together. Okay?" Okay. So, I'm gonna do that. And if any of y'all are alone today, then I give you my permission to go and treat yourself rather than wallow. Take the day as a reminder to love yourself. And sometimes, people need that. Just try and make it more than one goddamn day, yeah? I'll attempt the same. |
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