5/8/2006 4:13 pm
Last Read:
5/10/2006 11:00 am
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WASTED TIME
DATING, ANTICIPATION OF, LONGING FOR, SEARCHING, DYSFUNCTIONAL, CHEATING, ABUSIVE, BORING, ANTAGONISTIC, VOLATILE, HURTFUL, ENDING, BREAKING UP, ENDING, MISSING, RECOVERY OF, LONELINESS FOR, BULLSHIT RELATIONSHIPS
DOES THE LONGING FOR, PURSUIT, MAINTENANCE, BREAKUP, AND RECOVERY OF RELATIONSHIPS TAKE UP TOO MUCH OF LIFE?
EVER WONDER HOW MUCH YOU COULD HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN THAT TIME?
Yes, another reason why the D/s relationship is best...
Have you ever really thought about all the time we waste in life on the perpetual perfect union? Do you think it has all been worth it, or do you think that it has kept you from achieving your life goals?
Really think about this now. Beginning with puberty, we spend an awful lot of time searching, courting, and dating, in search of the right one.
It just continues right along, as people often marry or live together, and yes, there are many relationships that are wonderful, but, since most marriages or relationships end, it would be logical to say that most of them suck.
People turn out to be the opposite of what you thought they were, or the other person changes. Fighting, cheating, boring, abusive relationships are almost inevitable, and one person almost always gets hurt, and very often both. People lie today, as easily as they breathe, so this is not unexpected. This leads to a necessary recovery period, which takes even more time.
Roller coaster relationships are the most damaging as they are great when they are great, but then, you want to be with the other person, are thinking about them, or are spending time with them. Nothing gets done.
When the relationship is going badly, you often times, can not function. You can't think straight, or you are trying to figure out how to get rid of, or avoid the other person. If you are cheating, or suspect someone is cheating on you, avoidance of getting caught, or dodging the other individual can be a full-time job.
Paranoia is a killer. Usually, people rationalize the feelings that "something is wrong", or are convinced by the other person, that they are being paranoid, and made to feel foolish for having such thoughts, even guilty.
In My opinion, when the red flags start going off, it is time to get out. It is usually pointless to remain, as these feelings almost always turn out to be right.
This is the problem with the vanilla relationship or the vanilla flavored D/s relationship.
There is no trust or integrity on one or both sides. More wasted time.
Sometimes you just feel sorry for the other person and you stay out of pity, which really doesn't do either person any favors.
Then, the breakup occurs. Anyone who has ever been through a divorce knows how time consuming this can be. If your head is reeling from betrayal or bewilderment, even less productivity occurs outside the realm of the "relationship" vacuum.
So, if you are lucky, you finally recover, but then, what do you do? You begin to do what?
Yep. Pursue another fucking relationship, which can take god only knows how long, right?
You are lonely, and couples in love are everywhere, so you alternate between searching and being lonely.
Even trying to juggle multiple relationships is a huge time vampire.
You carry the weight of the emotional baggage from past relationships around with you and that fucks with every relationship you have afterwards.
But then, you have the beauty of true D/s. This is the savior of the modern union. It is clear and it is honest.
It is almost cut and dry if the relationship is love through an agreed upon "setup".
Each side works to better the other and then, O/one can get on with being the most they can be and achieving all they want and need out of life. It is just that simple.
So, since probably less than .00001% of the relationships are D/s, doesn't it make sense that most of the time spent on relationships is wasted.
Makes those in the great relationships really appreciate what they have, doesn't it?
Kisses,
Mistress Savanna ~C
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910 posts 5/9/2006 5:27 am |
Dear Savanna. D's relationship or not its still the same problem. One has to search invest time, date, get to know, put money and many resources into the relationship and it still may or may not work out. My last two D's relationships went like this got to know a Domme over the course of a year, visited talked, discussed what we liked did vanilla and D's activities, wore her consideration collar, made plans to relocate and fully collar then just like a vanllia relationship she ended it abruptly and went back to her former abusive boyfriend/sub because he bought her all kinds of things including a new house so it ended similar to many vanilla relationships. My other one the woman, domme again whom I spent almost 2 years with was collared and engaged too was dishonest and I ended it. So one can find this type of behaviour in D's as well. shawna
Co-Founder- HL- The Horny Lark Club.
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4788 posts 5/9/2006 12:41 pm |
Mistress Savanna,
Believe me, Wwe do appreciate each other and what we have.
I would hate to start all over again with the ups and downs of dating and shite like that!
Hang in there Lady!
katida
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6538 posts 5/9/2006 7:21 pm |
nilla or s/m both are good and bad ...shrugs it is what life is about... with out the dramas of love life would be so boring...and suicides and homicides would go down a bit.. we wouldn;t want that..lol
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4352 posts 5/9/2006 10:36 pm |
Mistress Savanna ~C
Once again, thank You very much for giving me much to ponder today.
I have thought about this post all day long & am in fact, referencing it in my blog at this time.
I have spent so much time lately being so fixated on the fact that I am alone that I have lost sight of what I am looking for & what I want out of my life.
I do not want a "vanilla" relationship. Been there, done that & have the emotional scars to prove it. However during all that time, I also knew that something was missing from it & that something was the D/s dynamic.
This post very much reminded me that I need to take a step back & re-evalutate how to go about getting what I need in order to feel complete.
Thank You, for You truly are one of the best & for that I adore You to no end
love-hugs & kisses
k
     
Stroke Awareness - the life I save could be yours!
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555 posts 5/10/2006 12:29 am |
Savanna - Something to mull over and put through the mental spin cycle, for sure. The bottom line is that each of U/us has to follow what's in our hearts, whether we see D/s as a means to achieving an end (love), or a suitable replacement. For myself, D/s, and even kink/fetish, in and of itself, would leave me feeling empty, and it's the reason why I often say I'll never settle, not ever again, nor should any girl ever feel as though she is settling with Me. All in good time...
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7973 posts 5/10/2006 4:13 am |
Dear Mistress Savanna
I don
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