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Should I?
6/2/2006 7:47 pm Last Read: |
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6/3/2006 11:35 pm |
If I'm going to start something new I need ideas... I have no idea where to start with something new, that's why I just keep going with these characters and this Fantasies story... i'm beginning to run out of ideas all together
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6/7/2006 9:17 pm |
Hi Amy.  I like what I've read of your stories and I hope you will continue writing and posting them here. However, I have one request which isn't about content or story ideas.Could you please break up your paragraphs more, and more often? It's much easier to read and take in a story online if each paragraph is no more than three complete sentences, and no more than five lines on the screen when posted. These paragraph lengths are guidelines and most writers go over them at times. However, they are a good standard to aim for. A single blank line between paragraphs also helps make a story much easier to read. Without that blank line, the reader is faced with a solid wall of text. It gets wearing on the eyes after a while. Please do keep writing! Cheers, -sbt
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6/8/2006 5:54 am |
thanks for the suggestion, i will try to do that from now on. ~Amy84
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6/8/2006 11:19 pm |
thanks for the suggestion, i will try to do that from now on. ~Amy84 After reading your earlier work, I'd like to offer a few ideas which might help keep the creative juices flowing. With or without pumps.  Erotic stories are stories too. No criticism of your use of description and dialogue -- they were generally good -- but I did kinda miss character development. I liked it very much when you took the story viewpoint inside Amy the milk slut's thoughts and feelings, showing the reader exactly what she was going through. However, it wasn't until chapter seven that you described her: "I am only 5 foot 1, weigh 135 pounds and have 38 C breasts." If you mentioned her hair colour and length, eye colour, or any other general information, I missed it. I know she was a teacher because that entered the story. Above all, I missed understanding where Amy gets her kink. She seems to arrive in the story able to take many forms of physical pain, plus severe verbal and physical and social humiliation. You make it clear she is enjoying all of it, very much. So: how did Amy W. become a milk slut? What makes her so much love having her titties sucked and pumped and clamped and milked? How did she become a good little cow to be humiliated and used for pleasure? I guess what I'm asking for is a prequel, a story before the story. Take us into Amy's mind, show us her development. From childhood up through teenage years and beyond. Tell us when she first began to experiment, where and how she discovered the pleasures of being suckled on. Anyway, I hope this stimulates your imagination and gives you a new starting point. After twenty chapters, it must be very difficult to think of new variations and ideas. Perhaps in going back to the beginning you can discover either a conclusion to the current work, or another story to tell? Keep writing. Cheers, -sbt
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6/9/2006 6:05 am |
Thanks for another good suggestion... i'll see what i can do to create a prequil... or maybe use it to start a whole new story. I think i may have gone a little paragraph-crazy, but you asked for 'em you got 'em. ~Amy
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6/9/2006 8:01 am |
You did just fine. The danger point for paragraph breaks in online writing usually arrives when you find yourself breaking paras after only one sentence. (And as soon as I type those words, I remember the most recent post on my own blog opened with a one-line para!) On the other side, there's the classic writing mistake of filling an entire long paragraph with a single run-on sentence, not allowing the reader a chance to pause and catch their breath. Like this: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way -- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." One of the very best rules of writing is "There are no rules; you just have to make it work." The more you practice and try, the better your intuition becomes. You'll still make mistakes. Everybody does. Helps keep the job from getting boring. Looking forward to reading your next post, -sbt
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