BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
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when is it my turn?
2/4/2007 6:33 pm Last Read: |
It's been a while since i've updated... sorry for the long wait. I haven't done anything fun lately, so didn't really have anything worth updating. Life has been a blur, overwhelming, stressful, and depressing. Since my last update, my roommate has found out that she's almost 2 months pregnant. So, I guess I should have been more specific when I wanted her to be out of the apartment more often, not wanting those outings to be weekly trips to the doctor's office with her boyfriend... soon to be husband. That makes two friends I have that are expecting babies, several other friends are engaged, and several other friends that are married. I love how it seems everyone gets to live my dreams but me. Ever since I can remember, I've wanted nothing more than to be married and be a mommy. Yes, along the way I also had the dream of being a teacher, and I still do. I think that's the only dream I really have any chance at accomplishing. Although, lately as stressful as school has been, it seems like some days I'd like to give up on this dream as well. I know that God has a plan for me, and I know that everything will happen in His time, but HURRY UP ALREADY! I'd like to be young enough when I get married and have children to be able to enjoy those parts of my life. I want to be able to run around with/after my kids, I dont want to be 60 when they're graduating from high school and 70 when they're getting married. It feels like all of this is just being rubbed in my face. So other than making me jealous that she's on the verge of being a mommy and a wife, my roommate's situation also means that I have no idea where I'll be living next year, or who I'll be living with. All of my other friends around here at school are married so they're obviously not looking for roommates. Living by myself isn't financially possible, so I guess its up to the luck of the draw again on who I end up living with next year... the luck of the draw has screwed me over three times before, so I don't have a whole lot of faith in it. Come on God, give me one break please. ~Amy |
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2/5/2007 5:02 pm |
Haha, even without kids and a hubby, this has been anything but carefree. But I know what you're saying. Thanks for the reminder. ~A
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2/8/2007 9:39 pm |
thank you for your comment, yes that is the plan- get the degree then work on a hubby and kids, its just hard to continue to believe in that path when many of my classmates are taking other paths. I know we each have different paths in life, but it seriously seems sometimes like i'm the only one without a ring on my left hand. I have MANY people in all of my classes that are engaged, a few with children, and even a student in the high school class i student teach in that is married... how did a 17 year old get to pass me up on that one?! that's just unfair. I know in the long run, a degree is the right thing to do, and it will help me out if that hubby and kids never do happen for me. sorry for the long reply. ~Amy
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