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LETTER FROM MY NEW SLAVE REFLECTING OUR LAST SESSION
8/9/2011 9:48 am |
Wednesday's session started long before Wednesday. It actually started following our last session. When you told me that I would be taken out in public as your slave, I started to prepare myself mentally. I knew I would be wearing signs (collar, for instance) that there would be no mistaking Your intentions and my belonging. My biggest fear was seeing someone who knew me. Remote possibility, yes. But, one that is quite real. At the very least, no one would recognize me. But, they would definately recognize me as Your slave. What I didn't realize is they would soon see my as Your dog, not just as a slave. To tell you the truth, that excited me. I've seen how you talked about Klaus as being Your dog. I saw the pride in Your eyes, voice, and mannerisms. I also know You love Your dog. So, to me, being Your dog is showing Your love for me. It was a great sign of pride for me. I feel like I am belonging. Again, I have told You many times the trust I have in You. I know You will not hurt me, I mean really hurt me. So, doing everything You ask becomes much easier. Barking like a dog in front of someone isn't going to hurt me. It will draw attention to me & my devotion to You. It clearly demonstrates Your control over me as well. Something I love to show. Actually, because someone could know me in this public setting was more scary in some ways than going to Paddles where no one will know me. Sure, I'll have no clothes on. But, half of the people there be naked too. That's more comforting. Speaking of comfort, because I felt like I belonged in this setting, I was more comfortable than I expected to be. Yes, I was nervous. But, I was very comfortable being led around the shop on a leash, talking about sex toys in front of others, sucking on a candy cock, etc. I think I actually enjoyed the attention. Now did I like the attention because I felt I was on display or did I feel like I belonged at Your side? Or was it something else? It doesn't matter. I liked being being there, with You, as Your dog, on display. The most uncertain part of the video store was when I went to watch a porn video in a booth by myself. One, sitting on the butt plug was uncomfortable. Two, I knew I could not get excited while watching the video. I was told to save my cum for the milkshake. So, I didn't enter the booth with the intention of getting excited. Although, the shemale was hot and I would've love to suck her cock. Three, as I had mentioned, 3-4 or more people came into my booth while I was watching the shemale video. What was their intention? Was this a place where those kinds of things were normal. Was I in a booth that was normally a meeting booth? Did You send someone in? I didn't think so. But, every time someone entered it was in the back of my mind, "Are they staying?" What if one of them stepped in started to pull down their pants? I knew I only had less than 10 minutes. But, maybe that was part of the puzzle. I was pretty sure that if anyone was sent by You that one You would've made sure I had condoms & two, You would've wanted to direct the show. Maybe that could be in the movies some day. I must also admit that I would get the chance to use the toy I bought for You. When I saw that at the counter I immediately wondered if it would be another task for me in the dungeon. Would I get to use it on You? Would I be made to watch? That was probably the moment I was the most excited. Onto Fridays.....I knew my task here. It was quite clear. As you have witnessed before, my cock sometimes does not work as I would like. Could I cum? Then, would I in a public place? Then, as I stroked, the cat bell would ring. I kept listening for someone to enter. Then, I started to concentrate more on my orgasm trying to get it over before someone entered. Finally, I came just before or as someone entered. I didn't look up. I just wanted to finish what I had set out to do. Suprisingly, I really didn't taste the cum in a milkshake. But, I really don't know if that was the reason for the task anyway. Being in a public place jerking my cock, others seeing me taking the shake to and from the bathroom, watching my perform as told, those were the real issues at hand. I didn't look around Friday's to see if I got any funny looks. I tried to stay focused on the task at hand. When I got to the dollar store, I really didn't know where to go with it. Of course, we noticed the paddling instruments & the clips right away. Those were very obvious toys we could use. But, I didn't choose them right away because I didn't want to choose the obvious stuff. So, I started looking for items that I had no idea how they could be used as BDSM toys. Hence, the little marbles. The nice part about this is it seems obvious where we start our next session, in the dungeon with those toys. But, the reason I didn't choose the clamps is because You said they REALLY hurt. But, when got back to the dungeon, I noticed those brushes REALLY hurt. Suprisingly, I missed that part a little more than I may've thought. I like being spanked & I missed it. I enjoyed rubbing Your feet as well. I had envisioned doing it like I saw on you-tube video, rubbing warm oil, soothing You as I used my fingers. I wish I could've done a better job at this. I feel I failed You in this part of the day. I tried not to be too rough and that was not the right tact. As I left and started to reflect of the day, I felt that it was a success. Why? We went on the premise of my not being ready for Paddles. So, I wanted to show that was ready for Paddles. One, I think I clearly demonstrated that I will follow Your instructions in a public setting and do so without question. I was happy with my performance from that standpoint. I trust You. I want to please You. I want my actions to demonstrate that to You and anyone of Your choosing. Two, as I have mentioned before, I think, now, that this was arguably more difficult than going to Paddles. Yes, I will be naked in NY. But, so will lots of others. Here, I was put into a 'normal' setting doing unusual things. I think I performed as expected. At least I feel I did. Overall, it was very different from previous lessons. This was much more mental bondage then playing in a dungeon where it can be more physical. In that fact alone, I feel I learned something about myself and our relationship. I hope that I pleased You as much as I tried or hoped. Thank You again for the experience. I look forward to our next chance to session. YOUR slave |
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