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What's a lifestyle?  

WyrdWolf

3/23/2009 2:28 pm

Last Read:
3/25/2009 11:33 am

There are various definitions of the word lifestyle "A person's pattern of living as expressed in their activities, interests, and opinions" or "A way of life chosen by a person or a group" seem to be typical definitions for the term, but what does that mean for the alternative lifestyle?

For it to be a "lifestyle" it has to be a part of your way of life, going to the dungeon and playing on the weekend is a recreational activity, not a lifestyle. You cannot maintain bondage or S&M as anything ongoing, they are activities we engage in, so we have to disregard them as well. Kinky sex while being really great, is also not something that can be maintained.

So, what are we left with? Power exchange, in some form, at some level, power exchange needs to be involved to be a "lifestyle", it is the only thing that can be a way of life. Does this mean people who are not into power exchange cannot be part of the lifestyle? This one I would be interested on other's points of view on.
salamandraslvbbw
1607 posts 

3/23/2009 5:56 pm

I feel lifestyle is the pattern and color of how you choose your life, with no realm belonging to power exchanges. There are degrees of participation and what constitutes exchange until it becomes. A foot worshipper, a swinger, lesbian, transvestite...all are lifestyles, or the pattern and color or flavor of those who live them.

Kinky sex is a lifestyle. Maintaining control is relative to the participants. This is all alternative life. Because we go off boating on the weekends, is it less a lifestyle? When we are at work? It is a rare and delicate thing to be able to get to that place that without a doubt, you can have the integrity AND live precisely in the world as what you will to be in your deepest self, and integrity means you don't harm others in the process, for me at least.

Labeling is vanilla.

For Master, is is Life and The Life...so you know where I fall as well

My opinion
sali,

_MistrssClaire_
49 posts 

3/23/2009 9:23 pm

Well, my interpretation is slightly different.

Aprox 11-12 years back when I first became involved in kink, THE Lifestyle was the term used by the kinky people as a point of definition that wasn't so obvious, but assisted in recognizing each other in a crowd. It's a term I heard off the tongues of many Lifestyler's over the years.

Living (A) lifestyle would not be defined quite like The Lifestyle would. We all live a lifestyle, but only kinky folk explore The Lifestyle.

"Are you in 'the lifestyle'?" was the phrase that was used more as a way to know if you are into kink in any way.

No one considered asking 'what is your lifestyle choice?'

The Lifesytle just covered you being a kinky person, and how you practiced your kink would be a matter for discussion with those you choose to get to know better, but some would define themselves as, We practice the BDSM Lifestyle or are into The D/s Lifestyle, The Gorean Lifestyle etc. There always was 'The' placed as importance in the phrasing. The phrasing is still strongly in effect with many kinky crowds.

Where this came from? I believe this came along with the defining of the various protocols used between Dom's and subs, and fellow kinksters, making it easier in mixed company to identify each other. Much like some will use the BDSM symbol to discreetly advertise their interest these days.

So for myself, I have always been under the belief that I am part of The Lifestyle, and those that I associate with that are also a part of kink, are my fellow Lifestylers.

A non threatening term for some very powerful like-minded people.

santa3x
3153 posts 

3/25/2009 5:58 am

A LIFESTYLE HAS TO HAVE A SHARED SET OF VALUES OR ACTIVITIES THAT SETS IT APART FROM THE LARGER SOCIETY AND THAT SHAPE THEIR BEHAVIOR.

WANT TO FIND SEX IS NOT A LIFESTYLE.

"DO WHAT YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WHERE YOU ARE." T. Roosevelt

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