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I'm with you. If I get a hint that I may want to pursue any type of relationship with someone, I want to meet them pretty quickly. One can be whomever they want to be behind the keyboard. I have learned from taking too long, that I start to develop what I think the person should be like, based on their online presentation and when they are not... that is not good for either of us. And no... no real concrete information until after we've met, maybe. If someone does not at least want to meet for coffee, sight unseen, that is a red flag for me. I'd rather be too cautious, especially having come up against a CrazY or two.  Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short  
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There are a variety of ways to protect yourself yet establish a connection. One is to have one or two good friends of the opposite sex you can talk frankly to about the person who has contacted you. Even if they do not know the person, your friend can give you an objective perspective and suggest how to proceed as the relationship progresses. You can also establish a false email account that you use exclusively for talking for men you meet through sites like alt. Thinking they have your email address, they may reveal their true nature, and you can then drop them like a hot potato if you choose without worrying about being stalked. All they have is a fake address. Meanwhile you can exchange all kinds of information, like candid nude photographs and face pics (my latest conquest called them "honesty pics") which let each of you see what you are getting without compromising your identity or safety. I find an early face-to-face meeting in a public place, a real date if you will, is a great ice breaker. I take a girl to a nice restaurant, convenient to her, where she feels at ease and let her take my measure while I do the same with her. If we hit it off, I like to set up a second meeting where, after preparing her online, I place her in a submissive position and see how she responds. If she doesn't handle it well, I let it go. If she does, we generally finish the evening in a bedroom together. Either way, she never has a way to contact me that I don't control until I know she is worth pursuing. There is no reason I can think of that you can't follow the same practice. As a man, I probably am more willing to ignore risks than a woman might be, but believe me there are women online who can be a real pain in the ass to get rid of if you give them too much traceable information.
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