BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
 | Blogs > Sailor208 > The mind of Kally > Forever alone... |
Forever alone...
11/19/2005 5:51 pm Last Read: |
Man am I feeling down today. This whole week, even tho I've been blessed with having the flu shot (my arm is still hurting fucking needles), I had this overwhelming feeling of being alone. Some nights are so tough on the psyche that I was almost reduced to tears. I've come to the ultimate conclusion since I was transfered to Oklahoma. I don't have to keep up the farce. I can be very strong and somewhat stubborn when I want to be still, but I'm definitely not strong willed. My independance has wavered to the point where I crave to be dependant on someone else for awhile until I can pick myself back up and look deep and hard to who I really am. Alot has been going on, some I've mentioned in my blog, but other factors I have yet to come to terms with have left me in a nervous, emotional train wreck. I know I'm still young and I've got alot to experience yet, but I look around when I'm out and about (which isn't often) or to the guys at work, and see happy couples together all the time. Oh how I crave to just curl up in someones arms at night, knowing everything is going to be ok. Something as simple as that seems to be so far out of reach, that the unattainable feeling has plunged me deeper into the path of depression I'm falling into. I know I started rambling along time ago, but I've come to the conclusion that taking orders to Oklahoma was THE worst thing I could have possibly ever done.... I was so happy in San Diego... *grumbles something bad about the military* |
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