BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
 | Blogs > Sailor208 > The mind of Kally > Approaching the horse, but not in the saddle yet |
Approaching the horse, but not in the saddle yet
12/10/2005 11:06 pm Last Read: |
I've been trying to keep my wits about me and not let everything that I've worked so hard at go so easily. So I meandered back to the local dungeon and was equipped with more toys. It seems tho that I've been giving off the air of submission and that I'm easy to mess around with by getting a handful of ice down my shirt and smacked around on my ass and thighs with a acrylic paint stir paddle (getting my cell phone broken in the process too). It was obvious to other Dom's watching was what happening that I was not enjoying myself and the ones "playing" with me we're ignoring my safe word and put a stop to that quickly. A fire play demo on myself helped relax me a little bit. That was intense and highly erotic for sure. Later in the night I got to share a super masochist with a sadist and brought up my spirits immensely. I don't want to say I was taking out my anger on him from what happened to me earlier, but what a stress relief. After that ended someone wanted to break in my new flogger on me. What a mistake. Mind you, I live by the motto, if I can't take it I wont dish it out and I will always try something before using it on a sub. So I let him do it. Now I'm usually a hard ass when it comes to things like that, but this Dom had me in tears from this flogging. I had to literally walk away for it to stop. Talk about a non consensual day. This day has definitely left me with a bad taste in my mouth over the whole lifestyle. I trust the people that have accepted me even less, and has furthered my decision to move back into the vanilla lifestyle. Yet I don't think I could so easily give up what I've already gone so deep into so easily.... I just know that I can't keep doing it alone... |
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