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Bitter, bitter mouthful of ashes....
6/14/2005 11:13 pm Last Read: |
how selfish, how petty and greedy to have to force jollity these days it isn't even good when i get good news from friends this one has a new lover a switch isn't she happy work is great her son is happy she is buying a house she and her new lover going on a trip another acquaintance types at me another little pixel box of someone elses great fucking news oh, you are recently collared and your fiancée is just fine with this and you are tripping high from endorphins and isn't that wonderful i can say and type the smiley faces that betray my own self-pitying tears the bitter ashen taste of unseemly jealousy i dont begrudge anyone ever never anyone their happiness i just well i would like some too please thank you to anyone listening my gods seem busy these days but i still pray.  Mollena
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6/15/2005 1:05 am |
*bighugs* ..(your horse is coming in on the truck tomorrow if that cheers you up any - if I stand her by my window you can talk to her on cam)
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 6/15/2005 2:23 am |
Oh Mo I so wish I had some wise and profound words for you that would make it all better. But all I have is the words to tell you that I hope so much also for you. I have known lonliness (10 years of it and quite a few years of Betty's kind of lonliness on top of that), I know how much it can hurt deep in your soul For newcomers and not so newcomers. Arm yourself with knowledge
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6/15/2005 4:16 am |
I'm sorry sweetie... some days it all just sucks... Won't presume to tell you what you should do, or spout some 'cheer you up' kind of bs, just know I'm thinking about you and hoping that you find what you want sooner rather than later... {=}
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6/15/2005 9:20 am |
Lilith...that is the #1 best offer to cam that I have ever ever seen pop up on my monitor! Thanks so much, foulmama...I just so am uncomfortable when I hear something good and my first impuls is this little 7 year old whiny girl reaction....not my best moment. But hey, there it is. I like that line "Betty's Kind of Lonliness ... sounds like an album title, or a movie...  I hope so too....or at least that I remember to enjoy the journey, Deepbluenothing ...Thank you , dayoffslave...the fact that you care and shared that is exactly what makes it lean towards better love Mo Mollena
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6/16/2005 12:13 pm |
Thank you, AgonyIsEcstasy....for the well wishes and the kind words for my inner petulant second grader  love ~Mo Mollena
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