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QUERY: Does learning from a submissive make one less dominant?
8/13/2005 2:36 pm Last Read: |
No, not that you perverts. But I have come across a few submissive women who have said they would have a hard time "training" a fledgling dominant, if they'd met someone who was interested in a relationship, but had less practical experience than they did. I personally feel it is a great way to remind yourself what submission can be about...patience, humility, service. my stupidexboyfriend, The (not so) Vanilla Pizza Guy, was the beneficiary of some of the more subtle means one can use to approach helping a partner transition to a more dominant headspace. If viewed as a service to the dominant, and the service being having them come to their own, I think it would be an amazing way to grow close to a new partner. SO, for the submissives, is it really that you'd not be able to help a dominant to grow without feeling that their dominance was conditional? And for dominants...those among you who have had the (as I see it) benefit of learning from more experienced submissives, did that somehow diminish your feeling of being grounded in power? I mean, back in the day, masters had to earn their leathers...and no leatherman was ever diminished for having bottomed and served. To the contrary...that was what they DID to earn their place. I kind of think that was a Good Thing. {=}  Mollena
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 8/13/2005 7:30 pm |
I think with each new partner both the dominant and submissive have some learning to do and some teaching to do. As a submissive I can help teach a dominant what works for me and how to push all of my buttons and to expand his horizons. I don't however think I could dominate him in order for him to experience what he does to me that would have to be done by someone else. I have to agree that a dominant that knows what a flogger feels like on the flesh, or what a violet wand feels like, or many other things isn't a weakness in them and it does make them a better dominant.
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8/13/2005 11:38 pm |
For me, learning is not so much submissive, but a necessity, If it's not good for you, it's not good for me.
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 8/14/2005 2:06 am |
I know that there is a great deal to learn from people who are in either role, deathsmaiden. Or both roles. Or one of those endangered omnivant types. I have found that learning and teaching flows best when you have respect for the person, regardless of where they fall on the spectrum. Sometimes picking up techniques as you go just happens...willy nilly, and next ya know, you've got (gasp) input from all manner of experienced preeeeeeverts  xoxo Mo Mollena
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8/14/2005 2:14 am |
You make a salient point about everyone having a learning curve when they engage with a ner partner, mikayla. While most dominants have the desire to have their needs catered to, the savvy amongst them will take the time to learn from their submissive what it takes to draw the desire to serve from their intended "victim". xoxoxo Mo Mollena
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8/14/2005 1:17 pm |
Though it seems obvious, Kenwood, being upfront about being human isn't always encouraged. One doesn't have to look far to read how elevated dominant people can become...how they are frequently expected to be in charge all of the time...and how many submissive people are abashed at the prospect of seeing a dominant in a position that isn't ... well ... dominant. Mollena
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8/15/2005 10:12 am |
Of course it makes sense, Princess V. I dig on the idea that the more expreienced submissives certainly can learn even from newer tops / dominants. SOME submissives who eschew the opportunity to play with less experienced tops do so because they have had less-than-optimal experiences with new players. Too bad that then the brush is broad that assumes that it is a risk they no longer with to take, because you can miss out on a lot. And experience does not, NOT, mean you have a clue. Take it from me. xoxo Mollena Mollena
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8/18/2005 11:14 am |
LadyCie, indeed your willingness to not only learn from but also to accomodate your submissive partner(s) serves only to bind you more closely to them, and to inspire devotion in them as well  Peace Mo Mollena
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