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would you reorient?
1/20/2008 3:04 am Last Read: |
I read a post elseweb about a woman trying to "convert" her non-kinky lover. Without going into the bitchslap I feel this gal needs administered, or the Rude Awakening, that she is in for, I wonder...would you shift your paradigm for a lover? Either drop kink or take up king based on your partner's desire? I have dialed way up and way down, and even switched a few times here and again...but the wholesale shift thing...I dunno... . . ...why is she up, you might ask? Empty bed. Do not want.   Mollena
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1/20/2008 4:58 am |
it believes that people are what they are no matter what they bury within...it can be suppressed...but in the end...it is the truth of their nature... gwyn...The Masters less than, less than nothing...worthless...useless in every way...lower than the dirt He walks upon...more disgusting than the repugnant garbage He throws out each day...a repulsive piece of junk... existing for His use/abuse...to unconditionally and unquestioningly obey, no matter His want, need, desire...the thing grateful for anything its Owner gifts this putrid, rancid, vile piece of shit...ignorant cow...fat ass pig...for the Master is Everything... it...the lowest and the least...will never matter... will never be anything...for it is worthy of nothing...never will it be...
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1/20/2008 5:00 am |
i was married for almost 10 years to a non-kinky man. at first, i tried to "convert" him. and to his credit, he tried, and continued to try. he wasn't opposed to it, mind you. but it took me a while to realize that he just wasn't all that into it. what wound up happening, of course, was that most of our sex life wound up being tiresomely vanilla, with the occasional kink activity thrown in at my request. i tried to forget what i really wanted. hell - half the time i wasn't even *sure* what i wanted. until i blew up. found a lover, asked for a separation, dumped the lover, and started seeking lifestyle people in earnest. am now divorced, and free to move on with my life. i won't do that again. i won't shift my paradigm, and i won't try to change anyone else's. it's like teaching a pig to sing, and i just can't be bothered. "There is a beauty unspeakable in this heart of corruption, where the flowers are aflame." -Liber LXV, Chap. IV:3
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1/20/2008 6:04 am |
I tried to convert my 'almost vanilla' doc friend--we were lovers for a few years when I started getting further into kink....and to his credit he tried to 'top' a bit, and went to a few lifestyle socials with me...but it isn't in him--he still comes over for dinner sometimes, we are still close, but we will never be what we once were...sad really because that love was so genuine, and so deep.. "Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. " ~T.S.Eliot
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1/20/2008 4:51 pm |
I think many couples wind up sitting on the couch, too terrified to talk to one another about their sexual desires. As Max mentioned, we are all kinky. The deciding factor is whether or not we ever have the strength to admit our desires, to our ourselves let alone the person whose opinion matters so very much to us. It isn't a matter of "converting" a supposedly vanilla partner, but the partners ability to be a willing and eager participant in your kink.
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1/21/2008 2:15 am |
Yes, I would drop my kink. Or at least drive it back into daydreams, as I have done many times before. That part isn't so hard; the tough bit is not resenting it, trying not to exact a secret price from the partner. That takes a stronger mind than I have.
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1/22/2008 12:49 am |
I gotta go along with Max on this one and I DO turn away from this being a lifestyle. It isn't a lifestyle for me....I don't consider myself a part of all this, not dom, sub, master, slave, top bottom.....whatever label you got I'll reject. But I know what I like and I enjoy the kink....plain and simple. The idea of a lifetime of non experimental, straight forward, SAFE sex (which often leads to very little sex) would bore me to distraction....more important I would think is that one who DESIRES this just wouldn't be right woman for me. It's not a question of who's right and who's wrong.....to each their own....but why start something that isn't gonna have a happy ending.
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