BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
 | Blogs > Mollena > The Perverted Negress. > treading water.... |
treading water....
11/27/2005 3:57 pm Last Read: |
...I liked being alone whilst traveling. I was amazed to find this out, because usually I need the feedback of other people to know I am alive. (The photo is one of only 2 cheesy lame touristy photos I allowed to be taken of me whilst traveling. Bodski was the instigator / enabler of the other.) I feel like I fade away to a little rind of my self when I am alone. Usually. While I was in New York, I remembered I didn't always feel that way. When I was on the first leg of my trip, in the Netherlands, I realized I didn't wane to nothingness in my head when I was alone. I felt more alive, more challenged, more aware, when I was alone. Sometimes, people seemed to be yammering clattering distractions. Sometimes I enjoyed other's company. But just as often I was happy to have adventures on my own. Thank the gods the wind-down of my trip was spent mostly in the homes of friends, old and new, giving me a chance to acclimate back. Because I really am a friendly person.  ...even if I had the unique bi-polar moment of walking by a river and being in tears at how beautiful the sun beaming through a grove of wildly extravagantly jewel toned dying leaves floating down a brook that was simply sursurrating sensually .... and then within seconds switchbacking to being driven to within inches of a killing rage by the idiot guy on the tour who didn't know when to shut the fuck up and by gods if I had to show him how by holding his head down in the *&^%$ brook myself until he got the hang of listening to silence, I would, by god.... *cough* Anyway. Yeah. I am dangerously bitter about my job situation. I had an audition (a different one, not The Big Deal that is happening next month) and the casting director for whom I was reading gave me a heads-up about another possibility on the horizon. Frankly, though, if the Big Career Change thing doesn't work out here, I am going to take one of those "Teach English as a Second Language courses and move to Europe for a few years. I think. The people I met who were doing this had some sweet deals...and the thought of exploring the possibilities of another country for a long time is very appealing to me now. I just got e-mail from the web site that manages my foolish former lover's recording career, and oh goody goody gumdrops, his next CD is set for national release here in February 2006. I swear to GODS if I have to walk into a record store and see him plastered, or worse yet have to listen to "Mollena" played on some *&%$ jukebox, I WILL have a nervous breakdown, see if I don't and see if it ain't ugly. Ooo, myinnocence3 and themoodimin you can go to his concert in Bklyn next month and um I dunno heckle him or something Hey, I just took a look at the front page....so many new faces....! Is it, as it seems to be, the new rule that the driving factor is now thenumber of posts that someone produces? How is that a measure of anything except the spare time available to the writer...? Bemused, I am. Typing like Yoda, too, am I.  I had a really strange dream the other day that involved me having a love affair with a somewhat petite Centaur. Um, but the problem was, he didnt look like a Centaur to anyone else unless they saw him having sex. Otherwise, he looked an awful lot like the donkey in Shrek which made even my more liberal friends raise an eyebrow. I need to dream less. The Period of Doom is messing with me yet again. I wish theyd just find a way to stop it. It is NOT making me feel very sexy. I almost shook my platform bed apart the other day, when I heard that the (not) president of this poor country say to the Chinese government that he was concerned about the fact that they limited protests against the government in China. He ACTUALLY SAID, I am assuming with a straight face, that people should have their dissenting opinions heard by the government Um .George oh, never mind .I guess you have a do as I say not as I do policy. *sigh* I had a Really Big Crush on someone going for a while, but it had a bucket of cold water dumped on it, so now I have to find someone else about whom I can obsess over in a completely futile manner. Which is a drag, because these things are not to be taken lightly. I am still battling that nasty cough I picked up in England .pleah!! And I finished the last swig of Night Nurse last Thursday. *&^%$. I guess I shall sign off for this bit. I tried to post a link to my photos at SnapFish, but I cant seem to fool the *&^%$ who approve these ^^%$##@ posts that my *&&^% album is not a *&^%$ advert. I suppose I could upload em on my ALT photo album. Hm. But then I cant do subtitles, can I? I dont know. Will have to investigate. Goddess, my cats are ginormous!! OK, OK, I am going to have to eat now. Love Mo  Mollena
|
||
11/27/2005 4:56 pm |
'or worse yet have to listen to "Mollena" played on some *&%$ jukebox' funky cold mollena ??? Evil Religions <--- click here to vote please
| ||
 11/27/2005 5:19 pm |
I will now place a contract out on your very SOUL, Bod..... Mollena
| ||
11/27/2005 8:07 pm |
I hope you brought some more of the night nurse home. Xiao Ba Wang...... (translation) "Young Tyrant" ~R
| ||
11/28/2005 12:15 am |
When I think of Ex's...I often hum'...that "Marie Lavoe' song"...whooo hooo' an another man done gone' part...lol...I surely do enjoy reading lil' bits' about you...even when I am lost girl...catching up is just fun...for this slow girl...thanks' for always' being so "real" Mo'...wishes to ya' shebaby
| ||
11/28/2005 9:30 pm |
"so now I have to find someone else about whom I can obsess over in a completely futile manner" me me!! pick me!!!
| ||
11/29/2005 9:02 pm |
*lol* I DO wish I had another bottle, JBigLord....word. What song is that from, myinnocense?!!? It can't be yet another song with my name?!? Eeep! I am glad to see you around, shebaby....I have missed keeping up with my peeps. Thanks, tigress, for giving me a target for that extra energy Awwww yeah.....mood, swear to god if you heard him sing you'd be dancing on your chair, throwing panties on the stage and not feeling humiliated at ALL about it. Mollena
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
