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Submit. Fiercely.
7/22/2009 12:20 pm Last Read: |
As often happens my brain revs up to impossible speeds just as Im going to sleep. I am certain that this is because normal working hours are at odds with the hours in which I work best. I am NOT. Bloody. Diurnal. If the average person has an 8-hour window within which they can best rock the mike, mine is sure as fuck not 9-5. Im at the height of focus at the 6PM-2AM shift. I loved working graveyard, back in the day. Every day I fight against the way I have been my entire life to squeeze into a system that isnt working and never did. My Mom has stories of literally walking me though morning as a kid, and yet finding me under the blankets with a book and a flashlight in the middle of the night. Last few nights I have been flipping back and forth between thoughts about a solo show that is hammering on my brain a story that I have to tell and it is becoming more important. OK, fair enough. Then I had a sudden series of thoughts on things I feel I need to say to other kinky folks. OK, sure, great. Now of course the internal committee calls a hasty meeting, roiling raucously and figuring out how best to hammer this idea to the wall so that it makes sense in the stupefying light of day. It was something about Submitting, being fierce, embracing your Leather Identity mull mull. An acronym formed around this idea: S.E.L.F. Submissives submissives what OK, Embracing Leather Fiercely. Nice. That was easy. Snappy. Sassy. Win. Now, what does it mean? I think too fast far faster than I can type but in ten minutes I had the outline for a class on being submissive, and being fierce in your submission, and how to remain true to your identity, and not softening your fucking boundaries because you dont fit in. It really struck a chord for me. All of the times I am told You dont seem submissive. and You MUST be a top or a dom! rushed back to me like so many gnats and I growled in my head. Why cant people see that you can be in service in a way that EMBODIES your strength, rather than draping it in fancies and fuckery so that you dont intimidate or even scare away a potential partner? Fuck. That. Fuck it right in the ear. I wanna be the lioness. The predator. The top of the food chain, the Goddess AND submissive. Dammit. One story of a Gods progress that speaks to me is that of Sekhmet. She was Egypts warrior goddess, and badass as fuck. Her job was to serve the God-King Pharaoh, protect him in battle, and all kind of coolness. She also was a healer, and so was capable of fixing up anything she took down. Additionally, Sekhmet had some anger management issues. She was assigned with the awesome task of fucking shit up, all of the time. She liked beer, a lot, so you can see how her mythology appealed to me. Eventually, as she was wading through rivers of blood and feasting on it, to the detriment of the human race, Ra finally was all Shit, shes gonna wipe out every motherfucking thing. So he dyed a shitload of beer red, Hathor thought it was blood and so she pounded it. Evidently this mellowed her out enough that she gave up slaughter, blood drinking and burning the fuck out of everything and was smushed with a gentler deitys persona: Hathor. Who is much more chill, and is all about the healing and the teaching. I, of course, know nothing about drunken wrath *cough* but I DO know that being a fierce warrior is often NOT the purview of submissive. Yet there is a broad spectrum of service. From the person who wants to be a footstool and totally objectified to the slave who can bring home the bacon fry it up in a pan and tackle finances in Quicken with one hand. There is a great deal more here, but my brain is on the job sorting it out for later regurgitation. I think it is high time I talk about the collared lioness. And how being a submissive sure as fuck can also mean fucking shit up.  Mollena
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7/22/2009 8:28 pm |
You rock. And bring new meaning to the word pride.
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7/22/2009 11:59 pm |
    
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 8/26/2009 5:27 pm |
Love what you're saying. I do hope you'll say more about it in the future. A person who hates "is incapable of making a joke, only of bitter ridicule. . . Only those who can laugh at themselves can laugh authentically." (Vaclav Havel)
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9/19/2009 12:38 pm |
Please, please post regarding this topic again. I, too relate to my submission with fierceness. Here in the Land of Oz, it seems that all too often people present themselves so one-dimensionally, with the default setting regarding submissiveness being equated to being a doormat. Where that comes from I cannot begin to fathom...for most agree that it takes a strong person to give up control. I believe that it takes an even stronger person to choose to trust...as I am not into S&M personally, when I choose to trust I am choosing to allow another into my head space and the potential for long-term damage to my psyche is great. And could someone please explain to me the value of submission from someone who abdicates it soooo easily? babypeach
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