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Me, myself and We need sleep....
3/8/2005 1:08 am Last Read: |
I had rehearsal from 6:30 --> 10:00 PM tonight. This is after a full days work. And now I am just now wrapping up building a %$#@& costume piece that I fucking VOLUNTEERED to help with for the show. Fie that Vicodin haze. What was I thinking?!?! I had a 16-hour day replete with singing and (what passes for) dancing with my hobbled knee. The costume piece I had to build kicked my ass. I was just too tired to read a pattern and the &^%$# tap pants THEN had to have LITTLE FLOWERY TRIM sewed on to them all about the leg cuffs. I swear to GODDESS Juliet better appreciate what I went through to build this little piece of pink satin SHITE that appears in............wait for it.............ONE FUCKING SCENE. (/rant) We are lonely tonight. I looked at the calendar and had a bad moment of sad when I realized that in 3 days I will be looking at a year since I broke up with my stupid ass ex. Grr. I finally got the results from that horrid biopsy: I am perfectly healthy. Which sounds great, but is almost more frustrating because there is nothing that they can do to help me with these horrible periods. It isnt so much the pain as it is the exhaustion from having a menstrual flow that lasted 6 weeks in the tail of one that lasted 2+ weeks, with about a 12-day break in between. Plus, it puts a cramp (pun intended) on my whoredom. I had a sudden longing and missing of memory for one of my former lovers today. It was a visceral punch that took me by surprise, as I hadnt thought of him for a long while. But he was Special. He still is, in my heart. Ive not been in love with anyone as long as I was in love with him. Sure, most of the love was long-distance pining, but his mark in my life is indelible. It was he who finally drove me to seek out a relationship that was D/s focused, even though he was not kink identified. It was a flawless love at first sight whirlwind affair and I bore that torch for over seven years thereafter. It was only extinguished a scant couple of years ago and I bore it though several very critical relationships that overlaid but never, ever extinguished that flame. That was something that only he or I had the power to do Hm. Since that story is one of the focal points in my one-woman show (69Stories: One Perverts Tale) I might serialize it and post it here, to amuse the assembles masses. It is a Good One. Perhaps one of the best. What with a torrid affair, international rock and blues stars, wild sex, illicit love, effulgent, shimmering Biblical heartache, and even amazing musical revelations, you cant beat it. I am off for bed I just hope I can sleep without being too maudlin and weepy. This is one time I am glad my rooms are a wreck: it will keep me from pulling out some things I dont need to mourn over this late at night. Darkness rips away my veneer of control and the skin I keep nailed down over my feelings, and allows the more insidious denizens of my Id to frolic free. And this is not always For The Best. Be well, all Mollena  Mollena
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 3/10/2005 11:05 am |
Hey there... if you google Crowded Fire, you can get the info. We're in San Francisco  Mollena
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3/21/2005 9:38 am |
Oh, and PS....after all that, the costume designer wound up not using the goddamned bloomers in the show at ALL. Aint THAT a bitch. Mollena
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