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I don't do egg shell walking well at all.. True self and my heavy feet always prevail. Looks like he needs to just push himself into another the realm of reality or in other words shit or get off the pot.. You on the other hand just keep enjoying vg's company, you wear happy oh so well  ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride
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I understand that there are times when we must do things like this, but he has to decide ~ is he ok with it? If not, then he has to change it. I don't like times like this, but when I land in them, I do the best I can knowing that I will do what is necessary to move on, up or out. I enjoy being me, with all the quirks that it entails and I need to be surrounded by people who are at least Ok with it and understand my CrAzY As hard as it is to see and hear about, you can only do your part, for you.   Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short  
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I never understood being around people who don't accept me for me. I'd rather by by myself then. However, in his case, there could be a whole host of things going on including not feeling he deserves to be loved for who he is. In fact, the behaviors you describe seem to indicate that he's punishing himself.
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Some times it takes time and guts to move on from situations in which we cannot be ourselves. I stayed with my ex, with whom I either walked on eggshells, avoided or fought with, for years. Why? Well I thought I had committed and didn't want to be a bad person, I thought I was doin the right thing for my kids, and I lacked the fortitude to get out. I also work for a boss ( part time) with whom I must hold my to tongue to avoid an argument. He has no clue what I think of him and may never find out. But it meets my need to have him pay me until I grow my business to the point where I don't need him, and so I will do it for a while longer. Sometimes the ability to not speak out is a coping mechanism that is helpful, just as the fear of speaking out can be a hindrance to moving on. Hopefully, we live intentionally and AC in our own best interest when choosing when to speak up and when to bite our tongues.
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