BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
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Topping from the Bottom?
10/13/2005 7:07 pm Last Read: |
I'd like to hear how other people would view me, so I'm going to describe my craving, my limits... I'd be grateful to hear if any of you think I'm topping from the bottom. I crave bowing to him, desire to be on my kneels in front of him, will lay with my head at his waist basking in being near him as he reads, I love being collared, chained, flogged, I like limits in my life, for myself I only believe people who will say no to you love you, there is nothing better than his touch, I have absolutely no desire and never even look at other men, I feel like my body is his do with as he pleases including if he truly wanted to give it to someone else for the night, although I hate house work when I do it for him it brings me pleasure, I hate cooking but try to learn new recipes just for him, when I'm shopping I try to think of things he needs and often bring him something home, I try to look good for him, I always try to buy perfume that he likes, I buy my lingerie with his taste in mind. I love to serve, have almost no limits on what I would do for my Lord. The exception is although we have an open relationship I will not accept him hiding or acting like it is his private business.... We started out in a normal vanilla relationship, I am the one who brought up and gave my permission for that to change and all I asked was for him not to lie to me, not to hurt me, that he could sleep with other women but only as long as our sex life didn't suffer because of it.... The other open relationships I'd had were fun, Larry would go out, have sex with some girl, come home and whisper the details to me as we had some of the best sex ever... my Lord never really got that, he made some mistakes and definitely was in the wrong over the summer, he managed to cheat on me, which should have been all most impossible. So I have stricter rules, and this is one arena in my life I will not submit fully to, I will not give him blanket permission to fuck whatever he wants however he want, either he plays by my rules or we don't play like that, or if that's not acceptable we can split up.... This is one of the few places I have a rule that I won't bend on... Does this mean I'm not a true sub? Other than this and the fact I act very assertive in my outside life I'm totally submissive, well I won't back down when it comes to issues of raising my daughter, I'm not just gonna bow to him when I don't agree with him that would make me a bad mother, and I won't stand for that.... Not that he asks me to either let him fuck anything he wants or to let him raise my daughter however he wants he just uses that in our arguements as examples why I am not a sub....So what do you think, am I a sub? Please ask any question you'd like to have a better understanding of my feeling to provide a more thoughtful answer... |
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