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"Jingle Bell Rock." Every time I hear that song, I want to vomit *FOREVER*. Every line in it is a manifestation of the blue-haired polystyrene soul. It is to Christmas music what slasher movies are to art films. Schrille Schlampen aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Ihr habt nichts zu verlieren als euren Kontakt mit Versagern!
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You got me, in all my years never heard of that one... ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride
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12/18/2014 11:58 pm |
My kids absolutely LOVE "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"...and we have such fun singing along with it in the car...so I'm crying foul on that one. "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer" would be my vote for worst Christmas song ever. Another one that I really dislike (and this might draw some boos) is "The Little Drummer Boy"...pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum...gak!! Make it stop!! Only version I can stand is the one by Bing Crosby and David Bowie, because Bowie's "Peace on Earth" part at least distracts me from Bing's incessant pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum....arrrrggggggg!!! OK, there's one other song that I actually kind of like (especially Whitney Houston's version...she sings the shit out it) but it has a verse that has always bugged me...it's "Do You Hear What I Hear?"... the verse in question... Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king, do you know what I know? In your palace warm, mighty king, do you know what I know? A Child, a Child shivers in the cold Let us bring Him silver and gold Let us bring Him silver and gold So let me get this straight...we've got a baby freezing in the cold...and the first thing these people pull off the gift registry is silver and gold? How about...say...a blanket, perhaps? Firewood always makes a nice gift for those in danger of hypothermia...but then again, if the guy is such a "mighty king" it could be presumed that he could use some of that might to get them installed in a nice, warm room at the inn, wouldn't you think? Anyway, while we're on the subject of holiday "worsts," I'd like to nominate the worst holiday movie EVER...the original Tim Allen "comedy" The Santa Clause. Only ten minutes in, and we get to see old St. Nick fall off a housetop and DIE. Merry fucking Christmas, kiddies! I think Bad Santa would be less traumatic. ~LastGuy "It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards "There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles
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Cliff Richard: Mistletoe and Wine. Ghastly, mawkish, feeble-minded, god-bothering, pile of reindeer poop! Just to hear the first two bars brings me out in a rash and a perfectly justifiable sociopathic urge to perform unanaethetised dismemberments. And that's on a GOOD day!
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12/19/2014 9:00 am |
Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Santa's got a little friend, His name is Dominick. The cutest little donkey, You never see him kick. When Santa visits his paisons, With Dominick he'll be. Because the reindeer cannot, Climb the hills of Italy. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Jingle bells around his feet, And presents on the sled. Hey! Look at the mayor's derby, On top of Dominick's head. A pair of shoes for Louie, And a dress for Josephine. The labels on the inside says, They're made in Brooklyn. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Children sing, and clap their hands, And Dominick starts to dance. They talk Italian to him, And he even understands. Cumpare sing, Cumpare su, And dance 'sta tarantel. When Santa Nicola comes to town, And brings du ciuccianello. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Hey! Dominick! Buon Natale! (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) Just for you Katie. I had to dig deep, but the inner Grinch with a wide smile found one for you. "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will suprise you with their ingenuity."~ Gen. George Patton
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Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Santa's got a little friend, His name is Dominick. The cutest little donkey, You never see him kick. When Santa visits his paisons, With Dominick he'll be. Because the reindeer cannot, Climb the hills of Italy. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Jingle bells around his feet, And presents on the sled. Hey! Look at the mayor's derby, On top of Dominick's head. A pair of shoes for Louie, And a dress for Josephine. The labels on the inside says, They're made in Brooklyn. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Children sing, and clap their hands, And Dominick starts to dance. They talk Italian to him, And he even understands. Cumpare sing, Cumpare su, And dance 'sta tarantel. When Santa Nicola comes to town, And brings du ciuccianello. Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Hey! Dominick! Buon Natale! (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) (hee-haw, hee-haw) Just for you Katie. I had to dig deep, but the inner Grinch with a wide smile found one for you. But the line And brings du ciuccianello. or ciuch (bastardized version of the word, simply means ass (donkey if you want to get technical) in Italian... mostly when I am driving, there is always a cuich in front of me ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride
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Really never ever, but now I am more concerned on how come in all my years I never ever heard it.. I mean it had to hit my ears at least once.. maybe I did and it was so bad, I blanked it out from my memory banks for all time No worries ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride
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12/19/2014 5:48 pm |
Hey KB, I happen to like this one, and its fine that you don't we all have different tastes.. no biggie seriously... But the line And brings du ciuccianello. or ciuch (bastardized version of the word, simply means ass (donkey if you want to get technical) in Italian... mostly when I am driving, there is always a cuich in front of me "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will suprise you with their ingenuity."~ Gen. George Patton
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I don't mind the hippos or Grandma, and I don't know the Cliff Richard song, but the one that makes me want to shove long needles in my ears is "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney. I just can't stand to hear it and want to destroy the radio as soon as it comes on. I also have grown to dislike "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)", and I don't think it's simply an anti-ex-Beatles thing. I just don't like those songs. And being the good country girl that I am, my favorite is Sammy Kershaw's version of "Christmas Time's A-Comin"
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