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HetFlex_K 51M
160 posts
1/27/2015 4:44 pm
relationship drama (explained)


Two nights ago I began writing a post that basically announced the fact that punkin and I were breaking up. I was doing this because 1) I was trying to distract myself, and 2) I thought punkin and I really were ending our relationship. Let me explain.

Friday, punkin spent the evening serving drinks at a wedding. I don’t know how she got the gig, or through who, but it wasn’t a new job, just a chance to make some extra money. Her evening began around 7pm, and ended after midnite, but you can imagine how concerned and disappointed I was that I did not hear from her before I finally went to bed around 2am. For over a year now, punkin has made sure I know when she gets home from work, or visiting her family, or whatever is going on in her life. It’s my Fatherly duty to be concerned about her well-being, and I am. I want to know my is home safe, and she has done a magnificent job of letting me know, month after month. When I woke Saturday morning, and saw there were no messages, I admit I was equal parts worried and angry. Eventually I sent a message expressing this, and got an apology as a reply. There was no love attached, and it was clear something was wrong, but I did not hear another word from my girl for several hours. When I did, it was only in response to a text message of mine, and I was told at that time that something was indeed wrong, but punkin felt unable to deal with whatever it was. She avoided my phone calls, and it was difficult getting her to respond to the text messages, but I never got an answer to what was going on. My simply did not want to talk to me, or deal with some as yet unnamed situation, and I eventually had to give up trying to pry anything out of her, to save my own sanity.

Saturday was a rough day/night. I spent the majority of it confused, hurt, and trying to deal with the impending break up. I didn’t know what was wrong, and wondered if I ever would. Eventually my brain got so revved up I had to do something to distract myself. I did some writing, worked on three songs, and began to gather up the majority of punkin’s belongings. I think I made it to bed at 4am, and even then my sleep was horrible. A few hours later, I glanced at my phone as I was making my way to the bathroom and saw that punkin had left a message. She wanted to come over and talk. With less than five hours sleep under my belt, and probably half that under hers, we met at the train station and walked the four blocks back to the apartment. My poor girl looked very haggard, and she had difficulty walking. I spent very little time being angry the night before, but any lingering animosity vanished as she practically clung to me.

It turns out that despite taking birth control, I had somehow gotten my pregnant. She hadn’t been aware of it, even though in recent weeks she’d been experiencing pains we now know were associated with the pregnancy, and had woken to sheets soaked in blood (a miscarriage) gone to the emergency room, learned she had been pregnant, and began to seriously worry about my reaction. More than anything, she was scared it would change our dynamic, which is that of her as the 5yr old and me as her Papa. I can only imagine how it would have changed, had punkin simply been pregnant and trying to break that news to me, but she was not, so it really shouldn’t have been a concern. I must admit, my ex-wife experienced a miscarriage, and went a little crazy afterwards, so I am not surprised punkin didn’t make the right choices. Her fear of my reaction, and further refusal to tell me what was going on, were both irrational but I can only guess at what she was going through. Once my wonderful spilled the beans, it not only lifted a tremendous weight off my shoulders, and explained a great many things, it also seemed to lift a weight off of hers as well, and help my baby girl to really reconnect with her Papa. Things have been tense, strange and uncertain lately, but I am hoping for changes in a positive direction very soon.

You’d think this would be a great place to end the story/update, and I wish I could say that was kind of the end, but it really isn’t. Sunday afternoon and evening punkin and I reconnected, and when we went to bed that night I am happy to report my slept like a baby. I twice woke in the middle of the night to find her snoring soundly. Smiling in the darkness, I rolled over, and went back to sleep. When we woke on Monday, it was late in the day, and we did our leisurely best to not take a single moment of it seriously. We did pretty good, and as the evening began we seemed to be in the middle of a wonderful day, when drama struck again. My stopped to check her phone for messages and found that her family not only seemed unaware of where she was, but had panicked so thoroughly that they’d invaded her privacy by peeking at her laptop, and had even gone bonkers enough to call the police and try to file a missing persons report. Looking on the laptop led to the entire family learning punkin was making porn, and you can guess where things went from there. She left the apartment in a panic, and I can only guess what’s coming next.

I love my girl, and will do everything I can to help her through this rough time. The sooner we get past it, the sooner we can officially start our life together. I want punkin to be excited at the prospects but understand it will take some time to regain her confidence. Meanwhile, Daddy will provide some consistency, and support, and see what kind of changes occur. I think we are destined for great things. Stay tuned to see if I’m correct…

TheBargee 68M
16315 posts
1/28/2015 12:58 am

Fucking hell! What a shitstorm! I hope you guys can pull through this one.

All the best



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