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AC_Wright 58F
83 posts
7/28/2014 2:07 am
Can I get an AMEN! Stupid things that men do when contacting women on alt. Bullshit, Part II


The only woman I ever wanted to submit to was one of my philosophy professors, Doctor L.

Doctor L had brown hair, grey eyes, and fingers where the last joint down near the tips bent backwards when she pressed them onto something—the only set of those I ever saw. She also had the most incredible mind I've ever been in contact with in person.

I ended up in a logic of rhetoric class with her that sometimes devolved into pollitical discussions where she was deadly accurate. She was never afraid to be seen thinking. If she needed to see a point in her head more than she needed to see the roomful of faces, she closed her eyee, angled her head to the side and left you waiting and then she said something that changed the air in the room—something that lit up the room with the light of truth.

I really, honestly, wanted to serve her and be near her in the hope of having more from her than you could ever hope to get in two, one-hour sessions a week.

What she taught me lead to my understanding something you see waaaaay to much of in America today that you could call, "bad logical alternatives" and it is everywhere.

Here's how it works: Someone (usually a politician) says something you know is untrue and it leaves you with a question: "Are you mistaken or are you lying?"

Bad logical alternatives happens when the mistaken statement is too obviously false for the person who made the statement to believe it and the statement has got to be a lie and not a mistake becuase the explanations for its being anything but a deliberate lie are absurd.

What do I mean?

Imagine:

I tell you that I have normal vision and that I grew up in an English-speaking country. After that, I tell you that the sky is green.

You instantly know that I am lying because for me to not be lying, I would have to be *crazy as a fucking loon* for me to believe the sky was any color but the famous sky blue.

This brings us back to the topic of an entry several entried down on the topic of bullshit.

My profile says, "I am claimed and taken..." I am collared. I am SUPER-collared. I'm not even allowed to answer emails without prior revue and permission and I'm fine with it.

To put that in another way you could read by reading between the lines:

"My Owner, OWNS me—lock, stock and looming menopause." Now, this is the next to last message I got from someone. My reactions are in brackets:

"Hi how are you? I am SPECIAL NEEDS 41 single and live in (REDACTED). I am as well looking for a committed relationship but enjoy the getting to know you phase as well...

[Profile: I'm already *in* a committed relationship.

Uh-oh. You think approaching somone listed as a writer and demonstration that you can't punctuate simple sentences is a good idea...]

I am pretty open sexually but do enjoy vanilla sex as well. I feel vanilla sex is the basis for anything more extreme.

[Good man! That's the spirit! Don't waste time: get right to the sex part. Tell me all about how you want to make sweet ropey love to me. Tell it to me before you know my name. so *hot* (eyeroll)!]

If you would care to chat and get to know each other please feel free to respond. My (External) im and email are the same (SPECIAL NEEDS at External Email Address). I haven't been on here long. I look forward to hopefully hearing from you.

SPECIAL NEEDS"

This is a form-letter. He sent me a form-letter that mentioned sex.

This is carpet-bombing, as in, "if you bomb the entire country to rubble you are bound to hit that pesky little gas station that was your actual target."

This is where bad logical alternatives come in.

For him to bother sending me a contact request means one of three things:

1. He mailed me after completely ignoring my profile and never read a word of it (Military drill: open, paste, send, close, NEXT!).
2. He actually read my profile and decided that saying I'm in a deep, deeply committed relationship means nothing when it comes from me..
3. He is so balls out crazy, or bones-deep stupid that he read my profile and the pixies in his head told him it was all just a wordy way of saying, "Everyone's welcome! Come on down!"

It announces, that I am worthless except as a potential source of contact with wet membranes. It says there is nothing individual or unique about me that is of any concern to him. No, not actual *worthlessnes* just not enough worth for him to bother with the minute and ten seconds it would take a special-needs to hooked-on-phonics his way through my profile.

The upshot?

Even if He to whom I refer as "My Owner," said, "Get out, Bitch!" tomorrow, this man would certainly *not* be one of the ones I talked to.

Some people are lucky that there's no such thing as witchcraft—he would never get over the burning sensations and his cock would glow green in the dark!

Thank you, Doctor L.

Schrille Schlampen aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Ihr habt nichts zu verlieren als euren Kontakt mit Versagern!


AC_Wright 58F
323 posts
7/28/2014 3:21 am

Thank you, sistah, Katie!! Thank you! Thank you!!

Schrille Schlampen aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Ihr habt nichts zu verlieren als euren Kontakt mit Versagern!


KinkySubGal 41F

7/28/2014 3:51 am

*Throws hands in the air* Testify! Haha, I have noticed that many people on here do not read profiles, mine is very pointed about not looking for someone already in a relationship- yet I have gotten quite a few emails from already committed people. I didn't make my profile very long, is it that hard to read?

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time - Andre Gide


AC_Wright 58F
323 posts
7/28/2014 8:26 am

KinkySubGal:

Oh My GOD!

First, I want to hear you say "Testify!" in your Australian accent—especially if you can swoon from religious passion moments later.

Second, I want to know how on earth you come to know about the word, "Testify!" in that context.

Your knowing that would be like my knowing obscure facts about Australian history like the fact that the great navigator, William Bligh of HMS Bounty fame was the fourth Governor of New South Wales. Oh, wait, I do know that. I need another example...

Yes. I'm afraid your profile *is* too long. Far too long in that it doesn't say: "I've both breasts, both legs, a heartbeat and I'm so randy it's having a measurable effect on seismographs in Japan.

Think that way. If you think in any other, you may suddenly find yourself able to imagine the sheer volume of semi-simian horror movie rejects who are right now visualizing themselves drooling on you....

*legs slamming together with an audible clap!*

Schrille Schlampen aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Ihr habt nichts zu verlieren als euren Kontakt mit Versagern!


KinkySubGal 41F

7/29/2014 3:42 am

Hahaha I am giving some thought as to whether I should record a voice introduction that says "testify!" now, you'll have to imagine the swooning

To answer your question, I am a sponge, I read very fast and very widely, and it seems odd things stick. And might I add that I am impressed that you know that lovely little tidbit about William Bligh

Heavens, did I forget to add those vital bits of information in my profile? I thought it went without saying (especially the tremors, apologies Japan) haha.

As usual, you manage to find a phrase that makes me giggle or smile with its awesomeness, semi-simian being another that I am totally not going to steal off you.... *eyes dart about shiftily*

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time - Andre Gide



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