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SOMETIMES THE TURKEY ISN'T THE ONE IN THE OVEN Thanksgiving is a day of giving thanks, and some people realy need it. The following are actual conversations people asked the Butterbal hotline. I won't ask anyone here if you recognize any of these calls. A woman called (their number) to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still running around outside." Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck (''Will it cook faster if I drive faster?'' Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." If you've ever wondered why companies like Butterball have a Turkey Talk-Line to help people cook a bird that, in theory, shouldn't require all that much effort, here are some examples why. A Reuters editor talked to the call-fielders at Butterball and came back with these head-scratching gems: *Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my ? *Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine? *Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process? *If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste? *Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster? Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the doghouse when she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. While preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out. She tried pulling the and shaking the bird, but nothing worked. She and the became more and more distraught. After calming the woman down, the Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider. It worked and Fido was freed! Birdie, eagle and turkey? Taking turkey preparation an extra step, a Virginian wondered, ''How do you thaw a fresh turkey?'' The Talk-Line staffer explained that fresh turkeys aren't frozen and don't need to be thawed. I hope this was a good laugh before the feast? "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will suprise you with their ingenuity."~ Gen. George Patton |
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Brilliant! Commonsense would be the reason most people these days wouldn't survive in the wild Happy Thanksgiving!
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