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amber2014 80T
325 posts
9/1/2014 8:48 am
9/1/14


Hi again

Yesterday while in the gender exchange room some one asked what to do about a collared sub that had cheated on him.

Since I have been in that situation, both as a collared one and having one collared I of course had an opinion.

As I do on most things.

First cheating covers a lot of ground but I take that to mean that the collared one did not perform as expected, what ever that means in the collar holders mind can vary so much.

That of course is the most important thing, the perception of the collar holder, not the collar wearer, that a breach of their agreement has occurred.

I told him that, in my opinion, the only recourse was to take the collar back.

When I wore one I had it taken back because I did not live up to the expectations of the collar holder.

She had every right to do this and I deserved to lose the collar. I knew that I was not doing as expected but carried on anyway.

It hurt very much because the accepting of a collar to me was a very personnel and emotional thing.

The losing of that collar was even worse. I was an emotional wreck for days.

When I took a collar from one I had put it on I was very reluctant to take it. Mainly because I knw how it would hurt her and even me.

But this one had been pushing limits and being disrespectful for a while.

I did explain the problems to her and warned her I would take the collar back. But she did not change.

I finally had no choice, at least in my mind, but to take her collar back.

This helped me to better understand about losing my own collar.

There was a Master in the room that disagreed with me, he talked about Masters councils and trials before removing a collar.

There may be some that subscribe to this formal collaring and if they do then this process would be necessary to reverse the collaring.

I don't believe that most here are that formal.

The emotional and personnel relationship between collar holder and wearer is not formal, though there are understood requirements and responsibilities.

These personal collaring and collar removal can be handled easily and the situation resolved.

I do not imply that it is easy on either party, if my cases are the norm it is a very emotional thing for both.

Thank you all for reading my babblings.

amber

amber2014 80T

9/1/2014 11:47 am

JJ

Yes it is the play thing here again. But some people do live with collars in real life.. I do thing that an understanding is necessary of what is expected form both must be reached doe any commitment to work - collar or some thing else.

amber


amber2014 80T

9/1/2014 11:54 am

boujie1

Thank you for your comment.

I agree many jump into either accepting or giving a collar.

I think that was at least part of my problem with the situations I mentioned above. I jumped with out considering all the facts and responsibilities.

And yes for some people the commitment to the collar is much more than a marriage.

Trust as you say I really the most important thing in any relationship and it is hard to develop and maintain with out hard work.

I either met the master you met or another just like that - no was not good enough for that one.

amber


jenny14 75T  
90121 posts
9/1/2014 3:12 pm

amber

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules - each couple should talk it over and see it the relationship is retrievable!


A great topic

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


amber2014 80T

9/1/2014 3:56 pm

jenny14

Thank you again for commenting.

I believe that also every one needs to develop the relationship that works for them.

I just felt I had to moment of the collar question that came up.

I know hat some people will think that I know nothing about what I speak.

And they me correct.

amber



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