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Interesting. Any forum where potential partners meet is risky but bdsm has a whole different level of needing to be careful. I would use the phrase "due diligence". Since what people want and are prepared to accept varies so enormously - from "just being bored with ordinary sex" (which is perfectly reasonable and I do not think is as derogatory as it sounds) to only getting off with certain labels, a certain power dynamic, or amount or type of pain, both sides need to be absolutely clear what they are looking for and what each other's limits are. The guy you spoke to is either a dangerous nutter or simply someone looking to get off on-line with the kind of chat that turns him on. Either way, at least his dangers are clear on-line - far more risky is someone who seems nice on-line but isn't. I really don't know how you'd weed out the latter other than by taking your time and not rushing into things. Contact me privately via the PM at the head of my blog page
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