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SylviaSoulier 58F
8209 posts
8/21/2014 7:36 pm



Hi Jack! Welcome to the site - you write well and from the heart and that is always much appreciated.

Of course we have all stuffed up and will still stuff up not just in BDSM but in life. The stuff ups hopefully are not fatal or maiming but they leave a mark on others. We have no idea of the mark that will be left either.

The burden of safety, physical and mental, rests always on the person who is the top. When I started out on this journey, a lot later in life than you, I had a sense of the safety issues more clearly than my younger self would have done. I asked pro-dommes to teach me things, attended workshops, enthusiastically volunteered myself as a rope bunny and service bottom. This taught me a fair amount about physical safety.

Mental safety is so much more complex because unlike a dodgy hip or a frozen shoulder a person might have latent psych triggers that tip them over the edge.

Had I been you at the same age I think it likely that I would have handled it a lot less well than you did.

I hope that a few more people are encouraged to share their experience from the top and the bottom of the Mind Fuck gone wrong.



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