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ego versus self-esteem....
9/1/2005 3:27 pm Last Read: |
e·go 1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves. 2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. 3. a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit. b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem. self-es·teem Pride in oneself; self-respect. Ive asked the question how much is your ego involved in your D/s relationship. There were some very interesting comments made. (Thank you to everyone who responded!) vkindmaster drew an interesting line between ego and self-esteem. He viewed ego as the unhealthy part of self and self-esteem as the healthy part of self. I looked both up to see the definition was that simple. As you can see, it looks as though its not. It is easy to use ego with a negative connotation. After all, weve all heard of people who are in relationships only to feed their own egos. (My preferred term is power vampire. Dont know where I saw that at, but it works for me!) Since the definition of ego contains both the positive and negative aspects, I am going to continue to use that term for the rest of this posting. How intertwined is ego with power exchange? Heres how Im seeing it, but I could well be missing something. A sub puts aside all her ego, and the power entailed with it, when she submits to a dom. The dom receives that power, adding it to his own. As his sub responds favorably, he feeds the power back. As both partners stretch their limits, have new experiences, find new levels of trust, the ego power exchanged also increases. Rather than diminishing either partner, both actually realize increased egos, creating more power available to share. The ego power doesnt necessarily have to be exchanged only during sexual play. It could be her attaining her degree and his pride in her. I can think of a number of situations where his understanding and encouragement could raise her ego to a higher level. Am I way off base here? Or does any of this make sense? Input, please! NOTE: All definitions taken from dictionary dawt com. |
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