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loving pain?
1/6/2008 6:56 am Last Read: |
Elusive1NC has an interesting post that has many questions running around in my head. You can read it here: S&M My response to her was: I have a difficult time with accepting pain if it is not from someone I love. Yet I managed to accept my punishment from His Domme friend. I respect her tremendously, but don't love her. Passion didn't come into play, either.... I agree with the first part of the quote. The amount of pain is less what appeals to me. It is the whole scenario, being overwhelmed and moved out of myself by the activity. The pain can be quite small if Im psychologically and emotionally vulnerable. When Im put into the right head space, Ive found that I can take more pain than otherwise as well. I appreciate UTMaster4us comment about replacing the word love with passion. How does that play into it though? What if youre in a scene with someone you dont lust after? Or feel passion for? Is it passion for the activity rather than the person? In my situation, was it my love for Sir that made our scene with His friend so memorable? Theres something about this quote that really moves me. But it also feels a bit incomplete. Anyone have thoughts on it? How would you interpret it for yourself? |
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1/6/2008 3:36 pm |
I think to fully validate the quote for myself i would need a definition of love. I don't really want to replace the word love, because i don't know what i would use. I guess even just an emotional connection. But even that doesn't really do it justice for me. Every situation is different and everyone's reasons for being there are different. I don't do it anymore because i have grown as a person. But when i first started with all this, i wanted to take the pain to prove to myself that i could, because i wasn't happy with myself. It had nothing to do with the person giving that pain. Which is a very dangerous place to be. Now i have a connection with someone and the pain, or even lack of pain is a part of our lives together and something that we both enjoy. That's just my two cents.
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1/6/2008 4:09 pm |
WW- glad you liked the post--it made me think too, and the whole article is pretty informative, in a scientific kind of way...I believe the reason you felt as you did when his Domme friend 'punished' you is because you did it for him, and he was right there with you when you were overwhelmed with sensations and emotions...you may not have loved her, but you do him... "Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. " ~T.S.Eliot
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1/6/2008 6:08 pm |
It is a complex series of all of them I believe--if not the person than it is the activity. Love? Passion? Obsession? Tough to tell.   
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1/6/2008 9:02 pm |
Yeah, but my post was taken entirely out of context. It was nothing but a set up for the last line where I was doing my usual trolling for blowjobs, lol.
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1/7/2008 1:45 am |
AG, you've picked a couple of words that make it resonant MUCH more for me! Thank you for that! Elikat, you've made a REALLY good point about being in a bad place just to receive the pain. Masochism can be dangerous when your head is not in a good space. I'm so glad you're happy now and receiving something that feeds you in a GOOD way!  Elusive, that's kind of what I was thinking as well. I love it when someone posts something like you did! It makes me think and really look at where I am in my relationship. Always a healthy thing!  Dreamer, I think you're right. It's so hard to pull it all down into a single emotion. So many get stirred up.... Rusty, have you ever done a count to see how many blow jobs you've gotten from your trolling?  I wonder if it's an ALT record?
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1/8/2008 5:43 am |
dearest ww -- ahh, silly girl *S*, your Master having had His Domme friend work you meant she was HIS instrument. Nothing was about HER per se -- it, if anything, may have even been conducive to bringing you and your Master even CLOSER through the detachment (Him WATCHING you being beaten by another and Him having orchestrated it). Funny -- i just posted a comment on Violently's blog today and i noted a similar scene when Master had a Mistress cane me at Paddles. i can only tell you that i fell deeper in love with Master with each and every swat. Yes -- LOVE -- in addition to passion. *S* Same thing when Master strung me to the ceiling along with another girl. He caned us both simultaneously. It was amazing ... and DEEPLY ROMANTIC -- i felt Master MORE in that moment than in what might seem like more intimate moments other times. There is the intensity in what you are DOING -- when some sacrifice or pain is endured ... i don't know -- it never FEELS like sacrifice or pain tho'!! LOL! Its when you get to those plateaus of EXTENDING beyond what you know -- and for me, some of this "pain" is in the emotional pain -- the mental masochism -- for instance, something that REALLY arouses me is this imagining i keep having of Master loaning me out to a guest and me HAVING to go with the stranger while desperately wanting to stay near Master -- i really don't ever like doing anything like that without Master there to supervise and so, to serve another without Him present feels REALLY masochistic -- i can imagine how i'll feel practical agony in the temporary separation -- i mean, it feels filmic and epic to me -- like Romeo & Juliet, tragic and romantic! And intensely heady! *S* Kisses! s2bh.
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1/9/2008 2:19 pm |
s2bh, you've made a wonderful observation! I hadn't really thought of her being His instrument.... Hmmm..... One of these days we will all HAVE to meet at Paddles!
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