BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals
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stream of consciousness
5/7/2005 5:51 am Last Read: |
Sometimes it is the simplest thing that gives me that ah-ha! moment. Yesterday, it was buying a dress. I hate shopping for clothes. I hate it with a passion. I have the body that just does not FIT into the way clothes are cut these days. I have a bosom, a waist, hips, butt and thighs. I have curves. It seems as though most clothes are cut as if all women were straight up and down. If I find something big enough for my hips, it falls off my waist to sit at the top of my hips. If it fits nicely around the waist, it either wont go over the hips or Im afraid to even THINK of sitting down in it. Ive known for four weeks that I needed to buy a dress. My friends wedding is next weekend, so I really couldnt put it off any longer. So, girding myself for the disappointment and struggle I was certain I faced, off to the mall I went. As I was looking at all the appropriate dresses, the thoughts in my mind were, nope, too short; nope, too frilly; nope, not my color. Dress after dress was reviewed and discarded. A sales lady asked if she could assist and I told her what I was looking for. She came back with two dresses and could tell from my face that I was very dubious of the fit. You have to try them on. Really. They look much different when you have them on. Well, I didnt want to be rude, so I put them over my arm, certain I would look ridiculous in either one of her choices. On my way to the fitting room, I added another to my arm, thinking Id make it three strikes. Well, not only did all three dresses fit, they all fit WELL! The first was more revealing than I am comfortable wearing, so I passed on it. (Im certain many men would have found it appealing, but I am a bit modest, so would have spent the night wondering who was looking at my breasts!) I finally chose the second dress as the sleeve detailing on the third was too intricate for my taste. I tried the dress on one last time, stood on the pedestal in front of the mirrors, and admired the image reflected back. I looked good! Better than good! This experience reminded me that it is much too easy to let myself slip into feeling bad about myself and the way I look. I felt so attractive, sexy and sensual all day yesterday. I need to quit being my own harshest critic and be proud of who I am. Im going to have a picture taken while Im wearing this dress to have a visual reminder that I am a glorious woman, curves and all! |
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