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forced bi and kissing
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May 14, 2006 7:58 am
1085 Views
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Once again, I'm using e-mail correspondence as my blog. One of these days I'll actually write one without it being spurred by a letter. *smiles*
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love your profile...and you are quite stunning. I love forced bi play and would like to be in a LTY at some point, but am not sure about a few things. Is it possible to enjoy forced bi with a sub and have vanilla sex with him too ? cant imagine kissing him or being intimate knowing he had a cock in his mouth recently or that he had given or received anal. I LOVE to watch and direct this play though. It truly excites me, but no desire to be a part of it. I also love severe anal, but cant imagine making love with the memory of taking him he previous night with a strap on.
Your thoughts please......
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Hiya,
Pleasure to meet you. First of all, there are two types of forced bi. The first being where the man does NOT want it at all, would never do it left to himself, doesn't ever think about it and truly does it only because you want it. The second, and the one you see more often, is where the male is curious about it but because of societal taboos will not try it on his own. The addition of the female and the "force" makes it "OK" for him to do it. You see, it wasn't HIS fault.
You might find it easier to have a LTR with a male who didn't want the forced bi for himself. You know that he'd never choose a cock over you. (Yes, it can become an issue. Some men find they prefer cock or become truly bi through forced bi play.)
As for kissing a man after he's had a cock in his mouth; you should be using condoms for both oral and anal forced bi. The only thing making the penis "dirty" is the semen ejaculated from that male. If you do not use the condoms, you are upping your partners (and your) risk of STDs. (Also, you should be using condoms on any insertable toys to lower the risk of transferring anything.) Since the penis is never coming in contact with the fecal material, you don't have to worry about the health risks in that particular way. You still have to deal with the mental image, but if you care about the male it is easily overcome.
Consider the reason you like to force men bi. Do you like it because it is humiliating to them? Is it nasty/dirty/exciting? The answer to that question will tell you if you can actually maintain a relationship with a male you force. If you do not respect them or are doing the forced bi out of anger or other negative emotion, you'll probably not be successful in a forced bi relationship.
Now, while I've enjoyed forced bi with prior partners, I'll not force my husband bi. We are sexually monogamous. To be totally honest, I'd be as jealous over him with another man as I would be about a woman. He is MINE. *grins* I'm one possessive bitch.
Now the strap on is another thing... Until I met my husband, strap on play was humiliation/power. Now it is another way of making love. The Domination aspect is still there, but it is more motivated out of love/lust. That doesn't mean all of our anal sex is gentle, just that it is not done to diminish him. It is hard to explain what I mean by that. *tries* While anal sex is about domination, it doesn't have to be about forcing domination. It can be an acknowledgement of something already well understood in the relationship. It doesn't have to be ass-ripping brutal to be very intense. It can be a wonderful bonding experience.
Why do you worry that you'll not be able to have vanilla sex with a man once you've stuck something up his butt? Just because it is different? You're able to eat Chinese one night and Italian the next. I will tell you though, the more Domme you become, the less vanilla sex there will be in the relationship.
Hope this helps some.
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Why mention size?
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Apr 25, 2006 6:21 pm
1181 Views
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Once more I'm taking the easy way out on a blog, using mail I'm writing to someone. I feel it is a good question and relevant to myself and BDSM.
Quote: (I did insert punctuation and clean up spelling. Other than that it is as written)
Read your profile Miss. it is funny bbw feel always obliged to excuse themselves for being what they are. From your profile; "I am a BBW.. aka a large woman. If you have any problems with that, you're not the submissive for me. " Do other dommes write I am black if you have a problem with that you're not a sub for me; I am red haired if you have a problem with etc etc. Why only bbw ?
Can You be so kind to explain that from Mistress to slave but from woman to woman?
end quote
*smiles* Don't worry, I'd never treat a woman I didn't own as anything other than an equal. Any person for that matter. The only people I have the right to treat as submissive or slave are those who have consented to that role with me. 
Ok, as for why I, mention the BBW part is that many men do not have larger women as a partner preference. However, they will accept a Dominant BBW out of a desire to serve just ANYONE. Domme are very rare. I do not want to deal with those men as sub who wouldn't date me as a woman. I'm very aware of my value. To deal with a man who is willing to overlook part of me in order to get to my Dominance would devalue me. I will not devalue myself for anyone. Therefore if a man has any problems with BBW, he isn't a sub I'm willing to deal with. I find it is better to get that out of the way up front since I don't like to waste time. Size preference is rampant in our country. And personally, I feel that a preference for not having a BBW partner is valid. I have a preference for a partner that has a 7 inch or larger penis. It is just what turns a person on mentally. I feel everyone is entitled to our preferences as long as we are polite about it.
As for why other women do it? I'm not sure. I truly hope it is for the same reason I do. However, I'm afraid that it may be more of a way to warn a man ahead of time so that the women don't have to deal with cruelty when a man feels "tricked" because the woman didn't tell him up front that she was fat. Women with red hair don't have the problem of a man feeling tricked if he's not told ahead of time of hair color. And actually, I find that most black women do mention being black either in their profile, screen name or by photograph. They also have to deal with some men having a preference due to color.
Unfortunately many BBW are not comfortable with their size and can be very insecure about it. Because a person is Dominant doesn't mean they can't be insecure about parts of themselves. Dominants can still be hurt by cruelty that strikes at a part of themselves where they feel vulnerable. It is a sad fact of this world that there are many people out there who never emotionally matured and look for ways to be cruel to others or injure them emotionally.
Personally I love my size. I can physically manipulate a man as a "normal" woman can not. I am truly in control. I not only control his mind, but his body as well. I can truly force my will. I love being who I am. There is a bit of tragedy here, as I'm going to be forced to lose weight due to debilitating back pain. I'm almost sick at the thought of being forced to lose weight. While many BBW would find weight loss to be a Godsend, I don't. I wish I could give that gift of loving them self how they are to all women. To all people, for that matter. That might allow them to mature enough that they don't have to run someone else down to make themselves feel better.
And do let me make myself clear here. While I condone preferences, I do NOT espouse or condone prejudice. Not having someone as a lover is one thing. Intimacy among humans is a very complex thing and our mating has as much to do with biological as psychological. You don't have to be willing to have sex with someone to respect them, however. (Most men respect other men but aren't willing to have sex with them them, as a quick and crude example.) Treating anyone differently because of race, color, size or creed is not acceptable.
In reality, I can only give the reason why I mention being BBW, and my thoughts from talking to other BBW as to why they might mention it. I hope this has helped you to understand. If you're still confused, please let me know.
Be well,
Beach
PS. I'm a Mrs, not a Miss. I'm very proud to be married to my wonderful collared submissive husband.
Beachs_toyboy
Beachs_toyboy
Currently reading:
Sex, Ghosts And Gumshoes
By Bob Gunn
Release date: By 28 July, 2004
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Why don't male subs go to munches?
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Mar 15, 2006 11:07 pm
1319 Views
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I've been attending munches now for about 18 months. The first munch I attended was a FemDom oriented one. It had two male subs who showed up regularly.The rest came and went, with few of them being repeat visitors. The current munch I attend has one regular male sub attendee- and he is collared/married to me. We've had a few other male subs show up once or twice, but not return. (We are a very friendly munch group and everyone is talked to and made to feel welcome, so that is not the reason.) We have female subs galore. We have a healthy number of Dom and Domme and a couple of Switches. Why is there this lack of male subs? Is this true at other munches? Do male subs not have the desire to know others in the lifestyle as just friends? Are male subs not as serious about BDSM as others? What causes this? What's your opinion?
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touched by a wishlist
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Mar 12, 2006 5:47 am
1258 Views
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Toys.. I love getting toys as gifts. Nothing lights my day up more than a new toy. LOL, I've always said toys were the quickest way to my heart. I recently updated an old wish list of mine on adulttoychest- in time for my birthday. My thought was to give my subhub and one or two friends some ideas of what I'd like. I was talking with a very sweet man- who has chatted with me on and off for years- as I was updating the list and he asked for the link. I thought nothing of it. People like to co-surf with you. Well, this gentleman ended up buying me a birthday gift off of my wishlist! I was surprised at his generosity. He told me he'd enjoyed our conversations so much over the years, that it made him happy to do this for me. *smiles* I was very touched. Not only was I touched... *huge grin* I have a new flogger! *snoopy dance* While I love the flogger, he could have bought me the least thing on my list and still touched my heart. Sometimes people surprise you!
Currently reading:
Micah (Anita Blake Vampire Hunter)
By Laurell K. Hamilton
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"I am a sub, not a doormat."
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Mar 11, 2006 3:42 pm
1075 Views
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How many times have you heard the ole subbie cry "I am a sub, not a doormat." While I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with a basic level of respect and courtesy, I have a problem with this statement. It seems to be often used by subs who want a very defined relationship, where it is spelled out that the dominant can do X, Y and Z to them. In other words, they have a list of permitted activities rather than a list of hard limits.
And that is fine if they find someone who just wants to do X, Y or Z. To me it isn't subbing though, it is bottoming. There is no exchange of power. However the subs of this type (I often call them shopping-list or do-me subs) often times portray themselves as seeking power exchange. I'm not sure if it is part of their fantasy or if they just have never stopped to realize that they are misrepresenting themselves.
As one seeking power exchange I was often pursued by these shopping list subs, because I did a lot of the things that turned them on. They didn't, however, offer what I needed. That being the case, if I'd have allowed myself to play with these people, it would have ended up with them using me. I'm in no way a male playtoy. I am Domme. I've no problems with people who want to role play or hand out shopping lists, as long as they don't try to do so with me. However the lack of maturity I find in others when you tell them No.. you're not what I need, astounds me. While I may be a bitch, I do not see how refusing to be used for another's enjoyment makes me one.
I don't know about you, but anymore when a sub trots out the ole "I am a sub, not a doormat." I think.. sure you are honey.. and move away.
Currently reading:
Kitty and the Midnight Hour
By Carrie Vaughn
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seperation
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Mar 3, 2006 11:49 pm
1078 Views
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Original Blog Post: Friday, February 04, 2005 (moved from MySpace)
Separation sucks. My sweet subbie lives an hour (to an hour and 45 mins depending upon traffic) away. I know that isn't far in terms of fetish relationships, but in reality, it is a bit of a distance. You don't often drive an hour on a spur of the moment whim. Especially since I HATE to drive. I've done spur of the moment things a few times because I really don't like being without him, but for the most part, I go up the day before his day off and stay till he goes to work the day after his day off. This past bit, I've gotten spoiled. I spent the night with him last Saturday thru this Friday. The prior week I'd spent 6 nights with him. Now I'm faced with three nights of falling asleep without his warmth pressed against me; three mornings of not waking up to his kiss. I won't see him again until Monday night, unless I crack and do a spur of the moment jaunt. I really want him closer. 
Last night we attended a munch together. It was fun and we met some new people that I hope come back on a regular basis. But the drive home was a melancholy one. It had hit me (and him it turns out) during the munch that I was about to go days without his touch. I know we need time apart. Everyone needs their own space. Even knowing that, I hate it. I hate hate hate this separation!
On the up side, we had a fun evening after the munch. To cheer myself up, I pulled out the humbler and some chain, some clothespins, nipple clips, some bondage stuff and some CBT stuff. The purpose of a humbler is to keep a man from standing erect. The testicles go through the hole and the board part behind the legs. It is humorous to put them in the device and have them do things. I have two different types, one that is heavy and designed to pull on the testes, the other lighter and just for predicament bondage. I've added some features to both of my humblers.. a chain around the front of the legs to prevent "stepping out" of it and a lock so they can't just take it off. If you're interested in getting one and not paying a fortune try Stumpy's Woodworking (one of mine is from him.. the oak with special knobs) http://alt.com
Currently reading:
Bloodlines : An Irene Kelly Novel (Irene Kelly Mysteries (Hardcover))
By Jan Burke
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trying to be a FemDom
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Mar 3, 2006 11:42 pm
925 Views
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Original Blog Post: Friday, February 17, 2006 (moved from MySpace)
I got a letter today on MySpace. Do you remember being told in school that if you had a question to just ask? Someone else had the same question. Well the question I was asked is a good one, so I'm sharing it and my suggestions.
I am just getting into this lifestyle. I have always been the door mat in any relationship so I am having a hard time trying to be a FemDom. Do you have any ideas? My husband brought this up to me and I like the idea and did pretty good for a week or so but now it seems that I have lost my authority. I am not into the really rough stuff. I like spanking him and he likes it too but that is about as far as it goes. I have been giving him chores to do around the house but if I don't give him a note when he gets home with which chores I want done he goes in and lays down in bed while I do all the work just like I used to! And with 4 little ones running around I need all the help I can get!
Thanks for any ideas!
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Heyya,
Any good sub takes training. You've not set up any routines or daily tasks that he knows he HAS to do. A routine might be as follows:
1. Come home and find you, get on his knees and kiss the tops of your feet. If the kids are around, a courtly bow and kissing your hand would be acceptable. He should say something like, I live for you, my Goddess, I give myself to you.
2. Have him go put on something like women's panties or a certain necklace to indicate he is now in service to you. This is an important step in keeping the mindset. Personally, I'd put him in collar and cuffs, but I don't think the kids would understand. Discreet works best in your situation.
3. Have a list of daily tasks that he is to perform. He is to do A. B, C and D.. then check with you for his next task. As he completes each task, he is to come to you and ask for you to approve it. Since you have a houseful, I understand you may need to roll that all into one and check how he did all the daily chores at once. If the chores were done to your satisfaction, whisper something naughty into his ear about what you'd like to do to him. Tell him he did well and pleased you. Promise him an erotic spanking at bedtime. Whatever works in your relationship. If he didn't do it to your satisfaction, have him do it over and tell him that because he didn't respect you enough to present you with a perfectly done job, he just lost his spankings for tonight.. And his right to cum for 2 days. No masturbating or sex. However, he is going to use his fingers and a vibrator to get you off both nights. If he keeps doing the tasks improperly, he may be one of those men who craves orgasm control. Look into a chastity device such as the cb3000.
4. When all the daily chores are done to your satisfaction, give him whatever other tasks need to be done that day. Approve them and promise him erotic treats. (This is like training a dog.. especially in the early stages. It is a bit more work for you in the beginning, but as he is trained, it will get easier.)
You do need to plan in some down time for him on days that he has worked. In today's stress filled world, we need to be realistic. He'll need an hour to decompress at some point in time in the evening. If he likes to watch TV, you might both curl up on the couch with your feet in his lap. Have him rub them through every commercial break. (I have my husband up to rubbing them through the entire show. It's just a question of getting the hands used to the movements.).
After the kids are in bed and safely asleep, you can start teasing him. Things like.. Is my lil fuck puppet ready to show his devotion to his Goddess? (Yeah, I know it sounds silly to call yourself a Goddess the first few weeks, but you get used to it. It is a power word. You're using it to get him to transfer the power from him to you.) A lot of men looooove to perform oral sex on a woman. Most of them suck at it. *sigh* http://alt.com isn't the greatest of resource for him, but it will give him a starting place. Once he is aware that he needs to pay attention to your reactions to each thing he does and try different things with his tongue, lips and fingers (and not just wedge his beard rough face between your legs and wiggle his tongue) his skill will grow exponentially.
You can read more about setting up rituals at http://alt.com It might also help if you formalize what he is to do in a contract. http://alt.com It helps to let each person know what is expected in a situation.
Since you'll be using sex.. the promise of it and the absence of it, to control him a lot of the time, you're best off to find out what it is that really presses his buttons. http://alt.com This is NOT a time to be judgemental. Some of our kinks are just plain silly or may disgust you. You do not need to participate in anything you find repugnant.. but you need to not make fun of him for finding the thing erotic. There is a lot of TRUST in telling your partner what you want. You're trusting them to treat it with respect and not to have it thrown in your face at the next argument. The things that both of you find erotic, you can do on a regular basis. Something that you don't have interest in (and don't find repulsive,) but he has a strong interest in can be dangled as something he can gain through a period of perfect service.
This isn't all about just teaching him to be submissive to you.. it is about you also finding your power. It is a learning process, especially when you've not had the power in a relationship before. You have to give yourself permission to be "mean" at times. Here are a few links that will help guide you through the early stages of learning to take power for yourself. http://alt.com http://alt.com Remember, being Dominant doesn't mean being a mean nasty bitch (although that makes for good fantasy during parts of play) it means being in control of the situation.
Here are some links you should read over the next few weeks. http://alt.com
http://alt.com
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http://alt.com
Sooner or later you're probably going to encounter an instance of sub drop (Dominants can drop also.) It can be confusing and scary, especially if you don't understand what is going on. Both of you should read up on it. http://alt.com gives a quick idea of what it is and http://alt.com goes into details about how to prevent and deal with it.
Also, since sex is probably going to be a big part of your BDSM controls (especially at first) you might want to read these pages.
http://alt.com
http://alt.com
Sometimes sex includes such things as spankings, floggings (no, this doesn't have to be harsh.. if you get an elk or a deer flogger it can be a very sensual experience for the man.. so don't just dismiss this because it sounds scary), CBT (cock and ball torture.. and no, it doesn't all hurt,) tease and deny, humiliation and such. Here are some links on training and how to do things like flogging safely.
http://alt.com
http://alt.com
http://alt.com (learn what is in there before you start playing with it)
http://alt.com
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You also need to help your husband on his submissive journey. You can do that by having him journal his thoughts and feelings. (I have my husband do occasional blogs . http://alt.com ) You can also assign him things to read and do an essay about for you. Some of those readings might include: http://alt.com
http://alt.com
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http://alt.com
http://alt.com
I also suggest you do some reading off of the internet. http://alt.com has a full range of BDSM books. One I suggest you get sooner rather than later is Training with Miss Abernathy; A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners http://alt.com It will help you guide him through some important training.
And importantly you both need to read and discuss http://alt.com
I know I've given you a lot to read over the next month or so, but it will help you gain and keep control. *smiles* There is nothing as sweet as owning your husband! Good luck on your journey!
Currently reading:
Animal Dreams
By Barbara Kingsolver
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Erotica and power
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Mar 3, 2006 11:41 pm
865 Views
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Original Blog Post: Friday, February 17, 2006 (moved from MySpace)
A blog I read just made me think of Erotica, by Madonna. I loved that song as a teen, even without understanding it. It just somehow spoke to me. I didn't realize what it was about until I heard it again a couple of years ago. A light bulb went off. It's no wonder I loved it. I was a budding Perv. I started pushing my boyfriends around at about 14. By 16 I was adept in the art of male manipulation and all of my friends referred to my boyfriends as pussy whipped. I'm from small town Ohio, and many of my female friends seemed to think I should be ashamed of having my boyfriend called pussy whipped. I wasn't. I loved the idea that I had this guy so wrapped up that when I said jump, he not only asked how high, but how long he should try to stay in the air. The power rush of getting my fiancee to cross dress for me at 17 was beyond intoxicating. "Once you put your hand in the flame You can never be the same." Once you've had a man love you enough to do anything for you.. nothing else will satisfy. To this day, I find pussy whipped men to be very... Erotic
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"Erotica" - Madonna
Erotica, romance [repeat]
My name is Dita
I'll be your mistress tonight
I'd like to put you in a trance
If I take you from behind
Push myself into your mind
When you least expect it
Will you try and reject it
If I'm in charge and I treat you like a child
Will you let yourself go wild
Let my mouth go where it wants to
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck
I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ...
I'd like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body [repeat twice]
Erotic, erotic
Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
There's a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain
I can see you understand
I can tell that you're the same
If you're afraid, well rise above
I only hurt the ones I love
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck
I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ...
I'd like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body [repeat twice]
Erotic, erotic
Erotica, romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
I don't think you know what pain is
I don't think you've gone that way
I could bring you so much pleasure
I'll come to you when you say
I know you want me
I'm not gonna hurt you
I'm not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes
Erotic, erotic [repeat several times]
Put your hands all over my body
All over me, all over me
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I like to do a different kind of
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better
Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away
Eroti - ca
Currently reading:
The Bean Trees : A Novel
By Barbara Kingsolver
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Twenty years
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Mar 3, 2006 11:40 pm
788 Views
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Original Blog Post: Sunday, January 01, 2006 (moved from MySpace)
Hmm, New Years Day 2006... This marks the 20 year anniversary of my mother's death. I was 19 when she died. I never got to know my mother as an adult. I never got a chance to make friends with her or know her as anything other than mom. I get hints of who she was from others that shared her life.
She was a strong woman. She's one of the two role models I had growing up. The other was my Grandmother, who I lost late 2004. Both of them were incredible women. They raised children with minimal help from the men in their life. (My fathers idea of what made a good husband/father was bringing home the paycheck. It wasn't till I was 21 and sitting with him in the eye Drs, that he watched a young father on the floor with his child and expressed regret that he'd never done that.) I also had a very feminist Aunt, who later decided she was a lesbian. I was besieged on all sides with the thoughts that a woman didn't need a man, that men were kinda a pain in the butt and that marriage wasn't the rosy thing most seemed to feel it was. I was told things such as I didn't need a man to take care of me and that I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet. My sister and I joked that certain people would wear mourning clothes if we ever got married. In actuality, I suspect my mother would be quite pleased with my husband. I waited till a few years shy of 40 to marry. I held out till I found someone worthy of my lifetime's love, time and attention. He treats me like a Queen and devotes himself totally to me.
My husband has also lost his mother. He never talks about her or her death, so I suspect it is still too painful for him to discuss. I understand that. It was almost ten years before I could talk about things. But it does leave a bit of a hole.. I can't talk with him about losing my mother without fear of making him feel awful. I guess I could call my sister or father, but they are both dealing with their own heartache and don't need mine heaped on top. I had my husband work today, mostly so he'd not be around my brooding. He also doesn't need my sadness heaped upon his dealing with his own mother's death.
The cats seem to be trying to give support in their own little cat ways. Pooka, our hell kitten, has walked over me several times, "sniffing noses with me" and then lying down about 8 feet away, watching me. Dude, our ragamuffin, has spent the day in arms reach, silently looking up at me. This isn't usual behaviour for either of them. It may seem odd to be comforted by the actions of an animal, but I do feel better for their attention.
Now that I've depressed everyone, I'll add one of my favorite Duckman rants for a bit of dark humor...
Don't you see what it's like in this deranged Waring Blender of a world?!
Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt! (Ah, you never forget your senior prom!)
You think I'm "SICK"?!
Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life,"
a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods,
all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue,
where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure,
like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little Strip Air Hockey,
it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback
and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete,
and even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day,
knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult!
So does anybody really wonder why ANYBODY is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!" --Duckman
Currently reading:
Something from the Nightside
By Simon R. Green
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males as playtoys
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Mar 3, 2006 11:38 pm
808 Views
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Original Blog Post: Friday, December 30, 2005 (moved from MySpace)
I have long said that real subs are as rare as Domme. Lots of men love the idea of the role play. They want a sexual thrill and then to go back to "normal" life. This IS normal life for us. There is no way I'd consent to being Dominant only in the bedroom. And these men think they offer us something by giving us their body to play with.. um.. NOT. They make the mistake of thinking because they'd enjoy something (being given a woman to play with, sans strings) that we must want it also. They forget that in the sexual arena, women are always holding the cards. We are the suppliers and they the mere supplicants begging for their fix. We don't find having a male body for use in the bedroom interesting because we could always have it. It isn't rare or special. It takes no effort on the males part, and will most always be a pleasure to him.
The effort comes in when the man actually comes home, bone weary after a day of work and fixes dinner while you sit and read. Then after dinner he washes the dishes and does the chores, so that you don't have to lift a finger. After that, he comes and cuddles with you, just wanting to be with you as his reward. Once we've tasted that.. the gourmet treat of real service and submission.. how could we ever go back to the fast-food fare offered by these wanna-bes who just want to use us to get off. And when we reject them for their inadequacies, they call us bitter, bitch or worse. Anyone can claim the word submissive, but few males actually deserve the title. Fewer still deserve the term slave. Unless they are owned and actually involved in consensual slavery at the time they use the title, I have no respect for someone claiming to be slave. I mark them as players not understanding what being a slave IS or the dynamics involved in it. Sure, they may have been a slave in the past and desire it again, but unless serving, they are not a slave. But because they put these names.. sub and slave.. to themselves, we're to swoon and take them to our bosom; until they tire of the game and go back to "normal" life.
I don't consider myself bitter either. I feel I've a realistic view of "submissive" males built over the course of years. I am not a male playtoy or sex object and never will be. When men tell me how sexy they find me (other than hubby, who is allowed) I tell them that is their problem, not mine. I demand normal respect and restraint from strangers, male or female. And if a male can't manage to keep that in mind, and feels he must comment upon my large breasts, I find it needful to comment that the bulge in his pants looks awful small. That usually ends in a conversation about judging people by "size." Funny how they have to have their nose rubbed in the irony of complaining that I judged them on something that isn't their fault, when they just did the same to me. *shakes head* They also don't get the fact that a real sub would never press his opinions upon a stranger in such a rude way.
Currently reading:
Neverwhere
By Neil Gaiman
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