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MINE
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Mar 3, 2006 10:57 pm
221 Views
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Original Blog Date: Sunday, December 12, 2004 (moved from myspace)
Once again a wonderful party at man's Ruin! My ex sub Pup made some ball bangers for me to share with the other Domme, and in picking them up I got to introduce him to my current sub. They both came away with positive feelings about the other, so I was very pleased.
At the party, I got to play with Goddess Michelle and her sub, my greg and tall greg. I love the atmosphere when two Domme play together. I must say my favorite part of the party was sitting and talking to Lady Ayhla with greg kneeling by my feet. There was something just so touching about it.
The only thing that marred the evening was some Domme I'd never met previously. I was carrying around one of the ball bangers and she asked to try it out. Of course I said yes. She took the banger and started smashing away at poor greg's testicles. I was so stunned it took me a moment to recover. I put my hand between his balls and her smacks. She was hitting him hard enough that it left a light bruise on the back of my hand. I was furious. I'd never seen a Domme act in such a fashion before. She'd never met either of us and from what I understand was fairly new to town. She had no reason to believe she could whale away on him. That pretty much ruined the evening and we left.
The absolute best part of the evening was back at the hotel. Let me back up 6 weeks. Six weeks prior, I'd been sick and tired of subs. I didn't want to have anything to do with them. I'd had a bunch of bad experiences in a row, the last sub being literally psychotic. I needed to still be around the BDSM lifestyle. I joined an organization- Club FEm- I'd been hearing about that was Domme/ male sub only. I figured I could just ignore the subs. My first munch, I pretty much did just that. I had a great time talking to the other Domme.
At the opening of man's Ruin, I met lil greg. He caught my attention and impressed me. Our first session turned out to be the most intense session I've ever had. I truly enjoyed spending time with him. He showed me that the type of sub I was seeking did exist. I'd just been looking in the wrong place. As I started to pay more attention, I realized that the rest of the subs at Club FEm also shared some of his qualities. I started to relax a bit more and stopped finding the idea of having a relationship with another sub to be something to send me running screaming, into the night. There was a slight problem with this. The person I felt would be perfect for me, my sweet lil greg, had been very up front from the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship. I was saddened by this, but I wanted to try a relationship with this new type of sub. I talked with greg early that week about the fact that we had different relationship goals and that while I treasured playing with him and didn't want to lose him as a partner, I needed to start seeking he who would be mine. Greg's response to that made me feel that he just needed a bit more time and he would be ready. I decided not to look very hard. If there was some chance with this sub, I wanted him. I feel the best is worth waiting for. *smiles*
I expected it to take a few months for him to settle into the idea of a relationship. I was surprised, touched and overjoyed that night after the party when he brought the subject up again and let me know he had thought about it and wanted to be mine. I keep getting told by subs I chat with that I need to pass on for them how lucky he is. It goes both ways. I'm also very lucky to have found someone who makes me so happy! *smiles*
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Lights!
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Mar 3, 2006 10:51 pm
220 Views
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Original Blog Date: Wednesday, December 08, 2004 (moved from myspace)
Have any of you noticed how beautiful some of this years Christmas displays are? Some of them are truly magnificent. I found out why yesterday. There are professional companies who are going around offering a decoration service. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it is wonderful to see the profusion of highly decorated homes. On the other.. it used to be that elaborately decorated homes were a rarity and a joy to find. They were a labor of love by the person who produced them and it let some of their holiday spirit rub off on you. Now we are commercially producing them. Where is the joy? I'm not sure yet how I feel about looking at something that was nothing more than a job to the person doing it..
This Saturday is the boat parade in Naples (Long Beach) California. http://alt.com If you've never had the pleasure of watching a boat parade, they are spectacular. The boats are decorated with lights as if they were floats. It's a wonderfully festive occasion. I am tentatively planning attending this years Naples parade.
We also have a boat parade in Newport that I will definantly be attending. http://alt.com Since all I have to do to view that one is cross the street, it would be foolish not to walk over and enjoy. The dates for this year's parade - Dec 15th - Dec 19th.
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Carnavale De Sade
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Mar 3, 2006 10:50 pm
220 Views
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Original Blog Date: Saturday, December 04, 2004 (moved from myspace)
*sleepy smile* I'm finally starting to come down. Went up to Passive Arts this evening for the Carnavale De Sade. I had a wonderful time playing, first with the sub I've been seeing for the past few weeks then with another sub from Club FEm. I'd forgotten just how good it is to play with two at once. Two men restrained, awaiting my pleasure. Mmmmmmmmm. There is something so visceral about knowing that they're yours for the taking. Their flesh is yours to use and abuse. I wish I could let those who have never felt it experience it... the rush, the power, the sexual charge! It is almost addictive. The last time I played with two men, I let one of them top the other with me. That was fun, but somehow it is better to have them waiting on your pleasure. After playing, we packed up and tried to leave, but the show had started.. my lil subbie friend and I got to watch Aesthetic Meat Front perform. It was fun at first, my little one kneeling at my feet with me stroking his hair.. till I realized the dancers were dancing around goat heads. Yes.. the heads (and feet) of dead goats. Oh, but wait.. we've not gotten to the point where the scantily clad sexy girls started painting themselves with blood. What can I say? We left early. Other than the heads, feet and blood, it was a very nice evening. It was hard to let the sub I'd played with out of the car at his home. He didn't much want to go either.. but we will see each other and play again next Friday. Also next Friday, I should be getting a NASTY new toy, made by one of the Club FEm subs. I can't wait!
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Domme Drop
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Mar 3, 2006 10:48 pm
229 Views
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Original Blog Date: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 (moved from MySpace)
Well, I had a wonderful time playing this weekend. I spent time with a sub who not only is great in the submissive realm, but it is worth having a real conversation with him. I really enjoyed myself. Now comes the Domme Drop. *sighs* I have it after almost every time playing, but it is often mild enough to be ignored.
For anyone who doesn't know what Dom/me Drop (aka Top Drop) is, it is the same type of thing as subdrop. Now you want to know what subdrop is.. right? They are all the result of the body having an excess of endorphins that are released during BDSM play. When these endorphins work their way out of the system, the result is often a period of feeling low or depressed. It sometimes manifests as being angry, needy or questioning why you'd ever be involved with something like BDSM.
Tonight it is being especially bothersome and I'm not sure why. What I do know is that I've closed out most ways people can contact me unless they are someone close enough to me to have my phone number. I tend to be emotional during TopDrop and do not need to make others deal with me being snuffly or worse, bitchy. *smiles* I guess it is part of the whole power dynamic thing. When I am truly needy, it is hard to get me to accept help. I'm the one who is in control and strong. I'm the one who is supposed to be capable and able to deal with whatever comes up. I'd chastise a friend who didn't ask for help when they needed it, but yet I do the same thing.
Anyways, I'm going to go and pamper myself. It always helps to "be nice" to myself when I experience Drop. I think tonight that is going to mean pulling out one of the favorite DvDs (Some like it Hot) and curling up under a snuggly blanket with the kitty.
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Twenty years......
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Mar 3, 2006 10:45 pm
229 Views
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Original Blog Date: Thursday, November 25, 2004 (moved from MySpace)
Twenty years.. it's a long time, isn't it? This Thanksgiving is the marker of the 20 year anniversary of my fiancee's death. It was actually a few days after Thanksgiving but I moved the marker to a day I knew I'd have people around to love and support me. So tomorrow will be 20 years since I've lost him. I don't often think about him and feel sad anymore. I'm to the point of the memory of him bringing smiles rather than pain. So why am I sitting here now with tears in my eyes? Why am I thinking of how different my life would have been if he'd have lived. I'd be in Ohio still probably. I'd probably have several children. Isn't it funny how one small bit of metal can change the world.
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Opening Night of Man's Ruin
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Mar 3, 2006 10:39 pm
226 Views
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Original Blog Date: November 22nd, 2004 (moved from MySpace)
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The opening night of man's Ruin was spectacular. Ms. Norma Jean outdid all expectations and presented a wonderful night of entertainment. The headliners were C.o.R.E., Count Smokula, and Dr. Mangor. We also had a very special presentation by Lady Aylha of Realmstone that had me totally entranced. She demonstrated double "handballing" aka fisting. She made it into a loving spiritual connection with the subs. It was quite beautiful! For those of you who say what is beautiful about sticking your hand up a guy's butt.. well, you had to be there to see it.
Personally, it was an exciting night for me as it was my first event/play party as a member of Club FEm. As a natural introvert, it is sometimes a bit hard for me to enter a strange social event setting. I almost changed my mind about attending, but knew that any organization relies on the support of its members. I felt an obligation to attend such an important event as the opening of the Dungeon. I am SO glad I went. Not only was the party part of the night wonderful, I had the BEST first session I've ever had with a sub. One of the subs, lil greg, had caught my eye at the party. While many of the subs were lost in socializing or not knowing what to do, lil greg was serving. I was impressed. He also looked very cute kneeling in the protocol line up of subs. After Lady Aylha's demo, I approached Ms. Norma Jean, per protocol, and asked about available subs. Lil greg was one of the choices given and I snapped him up. I invited one of the guests at the party to stay and watch, since he'd never seen a scene. After a very short time, I pretty much forgot we were being watched. Lil greg dealt with everything I wanted to do and gave back such wonderful energy that I found myself focused into him totally. I've never had a session like that, even with someone I knew well. Lil greg and I had talked briefly via email prior to the party, this was our first meeting. I look forward to the opportunity to play with him again. 
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