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Ma'am
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Mar 4, 2006 12:17 am
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Original Blog Posted:Sunday, January 23, 2005 (moved from MySpace)
I still find it hard to believe how lucky I am. Back in August, when I decided to go from fantasizing about being a sub to real time, I never would have thought I would meet someone who fits me so completely and absolutely as Ma'am.
Being the type to not stand in the shallows when the deep end is just on the other sideof the pool, I dove headfirst into the BDSM scene (at the time I thought BDSM and D/s were pretty much the same thing). I joined an organization called Club FEm. Over the course of the next 2 months I went to a few parties and met many nice people and learned a great deal about the lifestyle.
Things had been progressing at an even, if fairly quick to some, rate and as the grand opening of the Club's new facilities approached, I was looking forward to a fun time and meeting some new people. About a week or so prior to the party, I noticed a new name had appeared on the message board, and a quick search brought me to her home page. After reading her description of herself, I quite intrigued. I figured I would join her Y group and learn a little more about her. Upon joining the group I checked out her pictures and was both scared and intrigued more. I was scared because I had a rough intro to CBT, which is her fav, and intrigued because she so obviously enjoyed and had fun with what she did. While looking at the group, I noticed she was planning on attending a Club FEm munch, but did not realize that the date had been changed. I emailed her and she thanked me and said that perhaps she would go to the party but was not sure. All I could do was hope.
Well I arrived at theparty and was doing typical single sub duties: help with the door, give tours, run and get things, etc.. But in doing all this I had no time to actually socialize, like most of the other subs were doing. I was caught beginning to feel a little frustrated that here was the party I had been waiting for, and I'm not meeting anyone. Granted I knew that as a single sub that was my duty, but it was still frustrating. And on top of this, the lady I had been anticipating meetingwas a no show. That or I just could not find her.
Well the rest of the party proceeded and eventually Iforgot my frustration in time to realize what a great party it was. By this point I had assumed the Lady would not show, and I would haveto wait til next time to meet her. After the grand opening we began the Club FEm portion of the party and the remainng members went upstairs and saw a beatifuuly moving demo. During this demo a lady who I had yet to meet andwas directed by her to perform a couple other minor tasks. I noticed that she possessed a certain presence about her.
After the demo it was play time and the other single sub and I waited for the Head Mistress to give us direction. It was at this time that the Head Mistress introduced us to the lady in black. It was my Lady. My Lady then talked to us about how she loved CBT and would either of us be up for it. Well as I have said, I had a pretty daunting CBT experience, and this made me very nervous. However, between being excited to meet her, and the presenceI had felt, I knew this was something I had to act on, so I stepped forward beforemy window of opportunity could close.
And thank heaven I did. Never had I experiencedanyhting in the Vanilla or BDSM world like I did that night. I tend to laugh at new agey terminology such as connections and energy, but that experience was just unbelievable.
We just immediately formed a bond right there. At the time I had yet to visit subspace, but I lost myself completely in the moment.
Fortunately for me, Ma'am returned my feelings and we have continued our relationship. It's funny, but she told me later that one of the things that attracted her to me was the fact that while all the other subs were socializing at the party, I was actually serving. Funny how things work out.
She is funny, sexy, beautiful, with mischievous eyes and n evil grin. I love the feel of her body curled up next to me in bed, and the sound of her laughter at a sudden joke. I love her scratches, and bites, and strokes of my hair. I love to listen to her shout at cars and to watch her multitask on the computer. Every time I am with her is a moment I hopewill never end.
She is everything I have wanted in a woman and I feel for her unlike anybody I have ever known.
10:19 PM
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My foray into blogging
Welcome to my first attempt at blogging. My theory is that this is supposed to be borderline stream of consciousness stuff, so forgive me if I seem to ramble at times.
While talking with my Dominant partner, my Ma'am, the subject of a mutual friends blogs came up and she suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea for me to post blogs about my experiences/growth in the BDSM scene and D/s lifestyle. I was at first a little reticent, being much more of a physical exhibitionistthan an emotional one. But Ma'am said it would please her for me to do so, so I agreed to give it a try. In the blogs that follow, I will summarize my brief experience in the scene and some of the most important parts of that experience (some of which also happen to be the most important partsof my life). It is my hope that these blogs serve two purposes. Mostly, I hope that someone who is either new to the scene, or has been in the scene but is frustrated in their search for the right person can take heart from my experiences and realize that there is someone out there for everyone, somebody that fits. Don't settle for less. I would also hopethat someone reading this who has yet to make the jump from cyber to realtime can realize how many good decent people there are to meet in this world. And if this blogging brings me some kind of self realization, thats cool too.
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