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I's sorry
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Jul 31, 2010 10:36 pm
651 Views
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So today I'm starting out with an apology. I'm sorry nimblebookworm (every time I write your name I write nibble first and have to fix it. That's not the apology just a side note). I made it seem like you were trying to force me into an older dom, and you're right, you did tell me that I could find a younger dom and that there were ups and downs with both  I'm just a bit...well when I'm all flustered I exaggerate and I'm sorry it made you seem umm...less that the sweetheart you are
Now that that's over HI everybody!! So here's the topic for today, should I go to the Munch? There is a Munch in town on the fifth and it sounds like a great place to meet people and maybe someone there will be a perfect fit for me but then again, I'm shy....and young....i don't really wanna be that little kid that just follows everyone around....has anyone ever been? are they as scary as my over exaggerating mind is making them out be? Should I be wearing my winged sandals and packing a mirror?
Oh, and on a closing note, I would like to remind everyone that for me to comment back (because I'm poor) you have to have a blog I can comment on 
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Antigone and me
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Jul 30, 2010 1:06 pm
527 Views
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So I was talking to nimblebookworm last night and she brought up something that I haven't been able to get out of my head. It all came up when I was telling her about the emails I've been getting from this guy. I couldn't decide how sure I was about him so I asked her if she could get his profile for me. (she's way more hardcore than me and actually pays for this stuff, weird I know!) So she did a little snooping for me and *sings* like a good neighbor bookworm was there. (sorry the state farm commercials always get stuck in my head) Well, I went over his profile and low and behold found something about it I didn't like.
She didn't say anything then but later on we were talking and I was saying how impatient I was for this all to happen. That's when she hits me with "yes, sometimes you see very impatient and want everything to happen now and sometimes you throw up these walls." (that's paraphrased just fyi. I'm not THAT good.)
That made me wonder...am I really throwing up road blocks? Do I really wanna keep myself from finding someone? I mean I do have these things that I look for and I do tend to be a bit picky but It's not about the normal things. Okay, that's a lie, it is sometimes but less so now. Originally I kinda wanted someone close to my age and nimblebookworm pointed out that I really need someone who knows what they were doing. You can't argue with that logic so I conceded. I need someone a bit older. I got that. I can work with that. Although it poses a weird problem.
I've never went into a relationship knowing it would end. I'm that kinda girl who starts them all thinking this guy could be the one. So picking someone out because they can teach me things and not because I think I could end up with them is completely new for me. I feel like Antigone having to choose between the duty and love. Although I think if my Greek tragedies teacher knew I compared those two situations he would probably be shocked. Shocked teachers aside I understand. I'm pretty young. One relationship just to wet my feet is an okay sacrifice. It's not like I don't have time right? Nimblebookworm and I even talked about this. There's no guarantee that I won't fall for him too...although I'm not sure how to explain a huge age gap but who says it has to be huge right?
The next problem is am I really throwing up road blocks or am I just being selective? Isn't a girl allowed to have her own criteria? Can i decide what I want in a dom? Even if my criteria are a bit weird aren't they still mine? I really don't know. I don't know where the line between picky and unrealistic and just trying to push guys away is. Anyone have any ideas?
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Wanna be my friend?
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Jul 29, 2010 1:43 pm
519 Views
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Have you ever had one of those days that you realize how dumb you are? I always thought I could keep my kinky side under wraps. I didn't think I'd really need to talk to anyone about it or share. I'm kinda a close lipped kid anyway so I thought, no big deal it'll be my little secret.
Then this week happened.
It wasn't anything super dramatic just a realization that I needed someone to share my happenings with so I went a friend huntin'. I went with fet life, mostly because I didn't have an Alt account and to be honest I'd completely forgotten it even existed. So I just went with people who lived near by and I decided I was going to limit my search to other subs because, well, I'm a bit narcissistic and was afraid if I became friends with a dom or domme it would just end up being someone wanting to get into my pants. Cuz I mean who wouldn't wanna get in my pants 
At first the search was a flop. Apparently subs are a hard bunch to crack. Eventually someone took pitty on me. She's awesome! Her name is nimblebookworm. Look her up! she's a doll
It was so weird. We didn't do anything super exciting just talk and oogle boys and I asked a few random questions. There was no meaning of life talk, we didn't discuss the fate of the universe, just chit chatted like normal girlfriends will do and I felt so much better. I had someone I could tell all the weird things about me who I wouldn't have to worry if they would spaz on me. Heck she might even have those exact same weird things. She might even know how to do it better than me! Never underestimate having a partner in crime. It's very calming.
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