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A Master's Hand

Thoughts, philosophies and musings from Real lifestyle people...

pet peeves - couples posing as single women - add your own
Posted:Mar 24, 2015 1:02 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2015 6:19 pm
80558 Views

I fully understand and acknowledge that the adult friend-finder network is a for-profit institution. And, that couples, single males & TV-s fully support the female population here. The honey draws the flies - and the money.

This IS a rant though....
There are SO many couples posing as single women - perhaps 1/4 of the whole female population here. It's simple to find them: do a search for women looking for women. 99% of them are couples. AdultFriendFinder could make some Real money if they clamped down on these abusers.

- Most importantly, d/s is built upon Trust and Integrity.
- If you lie in your profile about who you really are, how can you build trust?
- If your "master" has no integrity, how would anyone put their physical & mental well-being in that person's hands?
- Some couples(single females) put a caveat in their profile about really being a couple and that alt won't allow a sex change. It's a no-brainer to create a new email address and profile. It's More about you finally having to PAY for an account rather than keeping a freebie.
- Again though it's about the abuse of trust by those who have no real clue or understanding of the lifestyle.
--------------------------
- Wynntyr_Snow
- 3holesforbigcock
- yellow3117
- mature4you44
- bikergal28901
-
2 Comments
From a subby's perspective...
Posted:Apr 5, 2015 12:58 pm
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2015 5:23 pm
81057 Views

When I say “I want to be tied up”
what I’m really saying is
”I want to trust you enough to let go.”

When I say “I want to be slapped”
what I’m really saying is
”That sting makes me feel real.”

When I say “I want be spanked”
what I’m really saying is
”I want to feel accountable to you.”

When I say “I want be gagged”
what I’m really saying is
”Help me silence the thoughts in my brain.”

When I say “I want to be used”
what I’m really saying is
”I need to feel small and insignificant.”

When I say “I want to be defiled”
what I’m really saying is
”I feel dirty. Make it go away.”

When I say “I want be forced “
what I’m really saying is
”Help me not feel guilty about my desires.”

"When I say "I want to be marked"
what I’m really saying is
"I need to feel you here even when you’re not."

When I say “I’m yours”
what I’m really saying is
”I love the way you love me.”

When I say “I love you”
I mean just that.

Source compliKated - Fetlife
0 Comments
Dominants whose poops don't stink...
Posted:Apr 1, 2015 7:05 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2015 5:24 pm
81004 Views
I began my journey during the transition between the old school and the internet. When I first started, one had to look in local, underground newspapers to learn about meets.

Anyway, it has never ceased to amaze me how many dominants are ego or megalomaniacs - that Somehow only they hold the keys to the "truth" about d/s.

Unless you're still drinking breast milk, your poops stink just like everyone else. Yes, I have teased a few and incurred the ire of others. To atone for my transgressions against those Great and Powerful OZ-s, I even created a shirt that I wear occasionally to pre-apologize to them...

.
1 comment
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Posted:Oct 23, 2009 9:35 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2010 7:30 am
93561 Views

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

From Dreams of Desire, 1995 by Oriah House. All Rights Reserved. Published by Mountain Dreaming 300 Coxwell Avenue - Box 22546 - Toronto, Ontario Canada M4L 2A0
from the profile of headdowneyesup
1 comment
wives & the prophet
Posted:Mar 26, 2015 11:59 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 7:19 am
86309 Views

The Prophet tells us four wives are sufficient for a true believer.
Why four?
The Prophet says one wife makes a miserable life...
...because she gets bored.
And two wives make a mess of your life also.
For they always quarrel and you never know which one is right.
And three wives are bad too.
Two always take sides against a third.
Now, four wives makes real happiness.
How?
Two and two are company for each other.
And the man, he has his rest.
0 Comments
Bumper Stickers
Posted:Jun 10, 2011 3:24 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 7:19 am
93413 Views

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

2. Practice Safe Sex: Go Screw Yourself.

3. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

4. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

5. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

6. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

7. My Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

9. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

10. Impotence: Natures Way Of Saying No Hard Feelings.

11. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

12. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

13. Its Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

14. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

15. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

16. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

17. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

18. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

19. The Face Is Familiar But I Cant Quite Remember My Name

20. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

21. Illiterate? Write For Help

22. Honk If Anything Falls Off

23. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

24. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

25. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

26. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

27. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

28. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

29. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

30. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

31. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside down, On A Jeep]

32. Remember: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

33. Guys: No Shirt, No Service.
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Seen On A Restaurant Window]

34. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

35. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

36. Ax Me About Ebonics

37. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

38. Boldly Going Nowhere

39. Cat: The Other White Meat

40. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

41. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

42. Heart Attacks... Gods Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

43. Honk If Youve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

44. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

45. If You Cant Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With bullets.

46. Money Isnt Everything, But It Sure Keeps The In Touch

47. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

48. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

49. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

50. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

51. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

52. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

53. BEER: Its not just for breakfast anymore.

54. So you're a feminist...Isn't that special!
0 Comments
How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play
Posted:Aug 11, 2010 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 7:19 am
80396 Views

written by a sub...

By lunaKM

When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat the marks and aches and emotionally recover from the scene. Do we think that Dominants feel nothing during play that they don’t need care afterwards? Think again.

When we play, it is for enjoyment and pleasure for both people. No matter what the play session involved the Dominant will not leave the scene feeling exactly the same as when they went in. They could have an energy high, a control rush, aches and pains, sexual frustration or fatigue. The submissive has a responsibility to take care of the Dominant just as much as the submissive needs care.

It is very important to make sure that the Dominant recovers from the session in whatever way that is best for them. We know what usually helps a submissive recover; a fuzzy blanket, attention, sleep, care for wounds, etc. But what about a Dominant? What do they need?

Out of my own experience a Dominant sometimes needs much the same thing. A back, shoulder or arm rub would not be turned down after a heavy impact scene. The rush of endorphins is going through them as well. Getting them a cool drink and having them relax will help slow their thoughts and bring them back down from the high they experience.

If sex is part of the relationship and you did not have sex during scene it might be nice to end the scene with sexual attention. I particularly like to end the scene with giving a blow job. Master prefers sex.

It’s also important to not be greedy with your aftercare needs. Some of what you may need could be done on your own at another time so while you are with your partner, focus on helping each other selflessly. Curl up together under a blanket and rest. Give each other body rubs. Take a shower together.

If your immediate need after play is sleep, then remember to care for them after you wake from your nap. Trust me, keeping that connection will strengthen the enjoyment after the scene if you can take the responsibility of caring for everything from your Dominant and shoulder some of it yourself.

Aftercare is a joint activity. Just like the exchange in pleasure and pain during play you should be prepared to care for each other’s needs after as well.

----------------------------
0 Comments
Safety
Posted:Jul 30, 2010 3:50 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2012 10:35 am
81434 Views

Cleaning the toys

by DurLlwyd
reviewed by Dr. Len Raucher MD

All BDSM toys present some risk of transferring pathogens from one person to another if they are used on more than one person. Many people are aware that toys which come in contact with body fluids, such as plugs, gags, and cutting blades, should be carefully disinfected. However, lower-risk toys such as ropes, cuffs, floggers, and paddles are often overlooked. Ropes sometimes abrade skin and absorb minute amounts of blood without notice.

Floggers can cause micro-breaks in the skin and become contaminated. Under some circumstances even perspiration can be a vector for disease. It is important to understand that "low risk" is not the same as "no risk." In order to minimize risk, all toys should be subject to an effective disinfecting procedure prior to use on a different person.

The robustness of microorganisms varies greatly. Some are easy to destroy, others are remarkably difficult to neutralize. Microorganisms also vary in regard to their resistance to specific methods of disinfection. For instance, some are very heat sensitive and some are heat resistant. Because the HIV virus is relatively easy to neutralize, sometimes the recommendation is made to simply "air out toys to disinfect" them. This practice is
dangerous, because while it is true that HIV is not the most stable of pathogens, it may survive much longer than expected depending on the substrate (body fluids) within which it is carried.

Additionally, HIV is not the only pathogen of concern. Hepatitis is more common and more infectious then HIV, for example. At the time of this writing (2002), Hepatitis B (HBV) is the most common of the hepatitis viruses. There is no cure for the disease, but fortunately, there is a vaccine. Those involved with BDSM should talk to their doctors about the benefits of being vaccinated. [Kink Aware Professionals]

Hepatitis C (HCV) is another high-threat disease that can be transferred through BDSM-related contact. HCV is currently (2002) less common than HBV, but it is still more common than HIV. There is no cure for HCV and there is no vaccine. Think carefully before sharing toys.

Because there are so many undesirable microorganisms, it is not practical to test each disinfecting procedure against all pathogens. It is more reasonable to evaluate procedures by selecting a few difficult to kill organisms as benchmarks. Because HBV & HCV are relatively common and reasonably resilient, they are useful benchmark candidates. In general, procedures that will neutralize HBV & HCV will also neutralize HIV. Another good benchmark is the spore form of bacteria. Endospores have a protective protein coat and are more rugged than vegetative forms
of bacteria.

Many of the commonly recommended procedures for sanitizing BDSM toys are marginally effective at best. It also must be remembered that no sanitizing procedure is 100% safe--even medical heat-based sterilizers can suffer unnoticed mechanical failure. If you want to be 100% sure that pathogens will not be transferred from one person to another, then limit each toy to contact with only one person. Cross contact always involves some level of risk. If however, toys are going to be shared, the risks may be reduced by the methods detailed below.

There are several types of heat-based sterilizers. The two most common are dry heat and steam based. Steam sterilizers (autoclaves) will sterilize a reasonably wide range of materials. Exact temperature, pressure, and cycle time vary by model of sterilizer. The higher the temperature, the greater the pressure and the shorter the sterilization cycle. Steam sterilizers generally operate at temperatures around 273f (133c). Dry heat sterilizers employ higher temperatures (320f+ (160c+)) than steam system to destroy microorganisms.Heat based sterilizers are quite effective and will destroy all types microorganisms; however, heat methods can only be used on toys that can withstand high temperatures. If you are interested in a heat-based sterilizer, a
brief hunt around the web should provide the names of several manufactures. Keep in mind, however, that just because these devices are expensive does not mean they are a magic fix. They still rely on proper use to be effective.

Boiling in water is another common method used to disinfect items. Boiling for 20 to 30 minutes does a good job of
neutralizing most common microorganisms. However, it does not render the item technically "sterile", as endospores may survive.

Liquid disinfectants are perhaps the most convenient way to disinfect toys. To be truly effective the toy being disinfected should be scrubbed, then soaked in the disinfectant for about 30 minutes. There are two reasons for the long contact time. First, many disinfectants require extended contact time to neutralize pathogens. Second, the liquid must also be in contact with the toy long enough to penetrate and break up any dried body fluids on the item.

Liquid disinfectants can also be hard on some toy materials. It is a good idea to test the toy's resistance by placing a drop of the disinfectant on an inconspicuous spot and allowing the drop to stand until dry. This isn't a perfect method of determining how well a toy will hold up to the liquid, but should bring to light obvious incompatibilities.

Leather is particularly difficult to disinfect without causing some wear and tear. Leather is a biological material and disinfectants function by disrupting biological structures. After leather is treated with disinfectant, it should be allowed to dry thoroughly before reconditioning with mineral oil or your favorite leather conditioner. With leather it becomes a choice of either accepting some reduction in the life of the toy or
choosing to limit the toy to only one person.

One other concern with liquid disinfectants is that some are quite toxic. All toys that may come in contact with any body orifice (especially mouth) should be thoroughly and repeatedly rinsed to remove residual disinfectant.

Chlorine is perhaps the best commonly available disinfectant. A cheap but very effective disinfectant can me made from 1 cup of household chlorine bleach mixed with 10 cups of warm water. A fresh 1:10 dilution of domestic chlorine bleach contains about 5000ppm available chlorine. This level of chlorine has been shown to be effective against HCV and endospores. However, chlorine is corrosive and is not recommended for leather, latex or
non-stainless steels. However, it does work nicely on plastics and play area floors. The chlorine content of bleach solutions decreases over time, so a fresh solution should always be used.
Phenolic (Phenol) disinfectants are commonly found in mouth washes and surface disinfectants such as Lysol.

Phenols are effective against most vegetative bacteria and enveloped viruses such as HBV (5). Phenols are not effective against naked viruses or endospores. Because phenolic disinfectants are commonly used for cleaning there are many brands available. A quick search of the web for "phenolic disinfectants" will produce a significant list of products. Ideally, the product used should be the type that produces a wash to soak toys in rather than a disinfectant spray. Sprays are considerably less effective. Phenolics are generally not too hard on toys.

Povidone-iodine solutions such as Betadine are broad-acting microbicides, which are accepted as effective against HCV and many other organisms. Such solutions are only partly effective against endospores and are more expensive then some other types of disinfectants. Also, some people have serious allergies to iodine. Always ask if the bottom has any allergies to iodine before using a toy disinfected with it. Povidone-iodine solutions are non-corrosive and are safe for a wide range of materials. The iodine may stain some materials, but simple warm water will wash it out of most items.

Ethanol (grain alcohol) and isopropanol (rubbing alcohol) in concentrations between 90% and 70% are classified as an intermediate level disinfectant. Higher concentrations are actually less effective. Alcohols have been shown
effective against HBV and HIV and are presumed effective against HCV. Alcohols are effective against most vegetative forms of bacteria, but not against endospores or naked viruses. Most toy materials tolerate alcohol contact fairly well. One point of caution is that alcohol is very flammable.

There are many other chemicals that can be used for disinfection, the above discussion is only intended to give an overview of the more easily accessible materials. While it is true that there is no easy method to completely sterilize all toys, the risks can be significantly reduced with a bit of care.

However, there is one toy that should always be considered a single use item--needles. Needles create puncture wounds, which are ready-made pockets for infection. No attempt should be made to clean needles for reuse. The risk of carrying minute bits of foreign material into the puncture wound is too great to justify any attempt to reuse needles. New sterile needles can be obtained by prescription from a BDSM-friendly doctor. If you don't know one, do a search on the web for Kink Aware Professionals or ask around the local scene.

Aside from the careful disinfecting of toys, there are a few other simple steps that can help reduce the risk of infectious disease. One of the simplest is covering any insertable toy with either a latex or PVC condom. Never use lambskin condoms for this purpose--they offer no protection against disease. This should not be a substitute for disinfecting shared toys, but it should be an additional precaution. Additionally, no object should ever be moved from the anus into the vagina without careful cleaning. Doing so carries a significant risk of infection.

And finally, general cleanliness counts. If a submissive has dirt or feces on the surface of the skin and is then flogged, the chance of infection is much greater. The same is true if a flogger is wiped across a dirty floor during play.

BDSM can be a very safe activity if reasonable precautions are followed. Also, keep in mind that no procedure or precaution is a substitute for knowing your partner and their history. If you have any doubts the "one toy, one person" rule is always the safest bet.

===============================
0 Comments
A Cherokee Parable
Posted:Jul 7, 2009 6:14 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2009 8:13 pm
80530 Views

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."

Author Unknown
================================
courtesy _Brand_
0 Comments

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