Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Master's Missives

My little oasis where I escape the outside & share My thoughts, grunts, groans, and take on life . Com e with an open mind or be gone


Posted:Aug 1, 2016 6:54 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2021 2:15 am
234755 Views
(courtesy, WSAZ)

Shoppers say a car accident at the Wayne Walmart in WVA played out like a scene straight from a cartoon.

Friday afternoon, an elderly woman left her car running in the parking lot so her two dogs could stay cool while she went in and shopped, but the apparently impatient dogs somehow knocked the car out of gear, and it went rolling right into the front of the building.

"Only in Wayne County could something like that happen," shopper Tiffany Bowen from Lavalette said.

Hundreds of comments have been posted on the story on our Facebook page. You knew the puns were coming.

A few of the highlights include, "He was just having a ruff day," "The wanted to see falling prices," and "The had to be texting."

Amanda Clark co-owns a vet service and pet training center across from the Wayne Walmart.

"It never occurred to us to teach them how to drive a car," she said.

The damage to both the Walmart and the car was very minimal, and the deputy who responded to the scene said no official report was filed.

The woman drove home with her dogs following the accident, the deputy said.


For the record, I suspect Mutley, McGruff, and Scooby are all a wee bit jealous

1 comment
Gnomes Have All The Luck!
Posted:Jul 29, 2016 6:07 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2024 12:23 am
236562 Views

I need a vacation.
This gnome has traveled more than I this summer.
A gnome is enjoying summer more than I.
I rest My case


*courtesy ABC News*

A gnome "kidnapped" from its Canada home nearly eight months ago is now back with its owner, who said the lawn ornament was returned along with a photo book of its apparent travels to the U.S. and Mexico.

The gnome, which went missing in December of last year, reappeared this Tuesday in a bag left on the driveway of its owner, Bev York of Highlands, British Columbia — a rural town in southwestern Canada, CTV News reported.

"I opened up the bag, and it had a beautiful book and story, and it just brought a smile to my face," York told CTV News. "It was so cute."

Whoever returned the small statue, named Leopold, appears to have put together a travelogue filled with photos of the gnome's adventures, such as along U.S. Route 66, at the Grand Canyon and on the beaches of Mexico.

York told CTV News that she has no idea who was behind Leopold's trip through North America. The only hint she got was a photo showing a cuddling with the gnome, but she said, "I don't recognize the little boy at all."

And though Leopold came back a little more worn looking than when he left, York said she wasn't upset.

"He had, it looks like, a big margarita, so he might've been damaged after that," she joked.

She added with a laugh that perhaps "they could've taken me instead of the gnome."
0 Comments
Work That Smile!
Posted:Jul 22, 2016 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2021 1:36 am
258347 Views


For some of us, happiness is exiting the workplace (just picture me as Fred Flinstone when that whistle wails - only a lot less hair lol)

But according to The Conference Board, quite a few people get that smile "on" at work. Now, don't get me wrong: I can understand how some might have a reason (such as those who are gainfully employed at the same canoli factory as their Sir -cough cough). But seems it's a bit more extensive than I suspected!


ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR WORK ???

ALMOST HALF OF US ARE,,,ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY TAKEN BY THE CONFERENCE BOARD...

WHILE THAT MAY SEEM A LITTLE LOW,,,ITS ACTUALLY THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF JOB HAPPINESS IN THE U.S. IN THE LAST TEN YEARS...

AND 60 PERCENT OF US,,,LIKE THE *PEOPLE* WE WORK WITH,,,MORE THAN OUR JOBS...

THE SURVEY FOUND THAT ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS AMERICANS HAVE AT AT WORK IS HOW COMPANIES HANDLE PROMOTIONS,,,AND LESS THAN 25 PERCENT SAY THEY ARE SATISFIED WITH THEIR COMPANIES BONUS PLAN,,,AND PERFORMANCE REVIEW PROCESS...

ANOTHER BIG GRIPE,,,IS ABOUT PAY...

WAGE GROWTH IN THE U.S. IS MUCH SLOWER THAN IT HAS BEEN HISTORICLY,,,AND THAT HAS BECOME A MAJOR CAMPAIGN ISSUE IN THIS YEAR'S PRESIDENTIAL RACE...
2 Comments
The Dos & Don't of Dating - 2016
Posted:Jul 15, 2016 8:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2016 6:49 pm
272486 Views

Some of these findings really surprised me

(courtesy, Daily Mail)

After how many dates would you kiss someone, send them a Facebook friend request or spend the night with them?

According to a new study exploring the dos and don'ts of dating, you shouldn't lock lips until the second date or connect on Facebook until at least the third. And don't even dream of jumping into bed with them before the fourth rendezvous.

The research, commissioned by TLC’s new dating show Undressed, also suggests that men should be the first text after a successful date and women should respond within a quarter of an hour if keen.

When it comes to messaging, a maximum of two kisses is all that is required as an end note.

Any more might be too 'over the top', while any less could apparently come across as ‘cold’. A definite no-no is waiting for the other person to text first.

Half of the 1,500 Brits quizzed in the study said it was important for their potential love interest to make contact first - which means the other half of daters will be left disappointed.

It seems that 'playing it cool' isn't in vogue anymore either. A third of respondents said they would text back within a quarter of an hour, with only five percent saying they’d wait as long as two hours.

Just 23 per cent of people think that texting back straight away is a sign of being 'too keen' with the majority of Brits saying they are happy to get right back in contact with a love interest.

However, when it comes to communicating online it becomes even stickier territory.

On average, the survey recommends that it's best to wait until some point between the third and fourth dates before sending a Facebook friend request or following a beau on Twitter.

Jo Hemmings, behavioral Psychologist for TLC’s Undressed, says that dating has become increasingly difficult in the technological era, with people having to 'carefully orchestrate' what they want to say.

She continued: 'The advance of smartphones has made dating both easier, and more difficult.

'There are countless apps to help people find dates, but the conundrum of how soon to follow someone on social media or get in contact opens up a new layer of pitfalls.

'Our parents may have had nothing more complicated to worry about than when to ring a date up on the landline, but these days there are dozens of methods of communication that all have to be carefully orchestrated.'

Half of the survey participants said they'd looked up a potential date online before meeting in person, to get a feel for their personality and see more pictures - and 15 per cent revealed they’d cancelled a date after seeing something on social media they didn’t like.

When actually on the date, there are countless faux pas to avoid - the worst of the lot being talking about an ex too much, followed by poor personal hygiene.

One in ten said they would cancel a date with someone if they talked about themselves too much in messages.

The reasons for going cold after a date range from the banal to the bizarre, with one respondent admitting that they couldn’t stop staring at a date’s mole, and another saying simply, ‘They punched my cat.’

There are countless apps to help people find dates, but the conundrum of how soon to follow someone on social media or get in contact opens up a new layer of pitfalls

Although the study shows that three is the magic number when it comes to the number of dates needed before an overnight stay, one in ten said they need more than ten meetings to get to that point.
4 Comments
Pokemon A Weeee Bit Too Far :)
Posted:Jul 13, 2016 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2016 12:44 am
275456 Views
(courtesy, Associated Press)

Three Pokemon Go'' players got locked inside a cemetery in Pennsylvania while hunting virtual monsters and needed police to let them out

Police in Dunmore tell The Times-Tribune of Scranton the trio didn't realize the cemetery closed at dusk. They called police just after 9:30 p.m. Tuesday when they discovered the cemetery gates were locked.

The wildly popular smartphone game has caused concern from law enforcement around the country. Many are urging players to pay attention to their surroundings following reports of robberies and accidents involving players distracted by the game, which sends players to locations in the real world to collect virtual creatures.

Dunmore Police Chief Sal Marchese says the three won't be charged.



1 comment
No Need For Words
Posted:Jul 12, 2016 4:55 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2016 8:47 am
278025 Views
2 Comments
Dreams DO Come True!!
Posted:Jun 23, 2016 4:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2016 6:41 pm
320478 Views
(courtesy, AMNewYork)

Not a big fan of beer? How about beer that tastes like ice cream?

New Belgium Brewing and Ben & Jerry’s have teamed up to create Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ale — a beer for the ice cream lover.

The ale will hit shelves in New York City in October. Proceeds from the six-packs will benefit Protect Our Writers, a nonprofit that aims to raise climate change awareness.

Last fall, the brewing company released Salted Caramel Brownie Brown Ale, also inspired by a Ben & Jerry’s flavor
.


2 Comments
A Feel-Good Story For A Change!
Posted:Jun 9, 2016 6:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2016 6:57 pm
356752 Views

I admit it: I have been worn down by the twitter wars, the 2016 campaign, the soap operas, and the countless "reality show" subplots.

So when I stumbled across this story, well, I just had to share the smile and good feeling it left me with.


(courtesy, NY Daily News)

A formerly homeless Navy vet with no known family had a lonely death — but a hero's send-off at her funeral, thanks to a social media campaign.

About 200 strangers turned up to the military funeral for World War II vet Serina Vine, after they found out online that the services would be sparsely attended.

“That didn’t sit right with me,” Army Maj. Jaspen Boothe, who started the social media effort, told ABC News.

Vine, who served in the Navy between 1944 and 1946, died at 91 in a Washington, D.C. VA hospital, where she lived alone for 20 years. She was homeless before moving to the VA hospital. Vine never married and had no .

Boothe, who also used to be homeless, found out about Vine’s funeral plans through a Facebook message from a fellow Marine vet, and sprung to action by contacting veterans’ groups.

One of the groups, Ms. Veteran America, advertised on Facebook that only three people were planning on attending Vine’s funeral.

When Booth arrived to the cemetery, she was shocked at the mob of people who showed up to honor Vine.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Martin Fuller of the the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs told ABC, of the turnout at Virginia's Quantico National Cemetery.

“I felt like I had to go because I didn’t think anyone was going to show up. The information went viral.”

Fuller met Vine in the VA Community Living Center in Washington D.C., where she died this week.

Vine served during World War II working in radio intelligence, and spoke three languages, according to the post from Ms. Veteran America.

“She was an educated woman, she loved to dance and go to church on Sunday,” Boothe said.

Vine was laid to rest with full military honors, including a 21-gun salute.
3 Comments
Lesson Learned
Posted:Jun 6, 2016 8:46 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2016 10:54 pm
361543 Views

Whether you wear the Dominant cloak or the cloak of a submissive, the struggle of life, as We know it, is built around who to trust and why We trust.

There is no perfect formula. No shortcut to success. Not even a Trust For Dummies handbook.

You simply follow your gut, your heart, your sense. And hope you have done the right thing.

And most times, We do. We don't like admitting to it for various reasons. But when you follow the gut, odds are you at least have an educated chance of succeeding.

But there are times when We err. When the trust & respect isn't based on the facts but on what We hope is or what We want to see. And all those telltale signs are there. The pattern of BS, of disrespect, of manipulation.

And yet, We press on and hope that We, Dominant or submissive, can "see" the "real person" hidden behind that cloak. That everyone else was wrong. That We can make the difference. That We know better.

And then, the facts make Us remove the rose-colored glasses. And the past makes so much more sense. The questions get answered. The truth is clear. The reality is obvious.

And yet again, a lesson is learned. In this life. In all lives.


Life perfect
Ain't perfect
If you don't know what the struggle's for
Falling down ain't falling down
If you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past cause I'm getting past
And I ain't nothing like I was before
You ought to see me now

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned


(Alicia Keys & John Legend "Lessons Learned")
1 comment
The LA Math Test Strikes Again :)
Posted:Jun 3, 2016 8:16 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2016 7:57 pm
364496 Views

Odds are you have seen this so-called "test". It takes the usual questions we couldn't solve in school (ok ok *I* couldn't solve), adds some sarcasm and urban twists to it, and gets passed off as "real".

Well, seems it popped up in Alabama last week. Teacher handed it out as an actual assignment. Btw, the teacher is now suspended.

Here's the actual "test"


THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM

NAME:____________________

GANG NAME:______________

1.) Little Johnny has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2.) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3.) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?

4.) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

5.) Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more corvettes must he have to steal to have $900?

6.) Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra credit bonus: how much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money?

7.) If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

8.) Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang.
What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

9.) Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the Boa on one week's income?

10.) Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his .357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?
|
3 Comments

To link to this blog (MasterNYS) use [blog MasterNYS] in your messages.