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How to find your local fetish community.
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Jun 11, 2008 1:10 pm
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Ok, I was talking to some people new to the community.. and he was falling for me.. which I get a lot. I guess its mostly that I get it because One, I am real. Two, I am willing to talk about what I really want. Three, I am willing to educate, and Four and Fire.. well im just hot *winks*
I suggested to the guy that he not look at me as his perfect match after 5 min of talking to me.. but look at his local community. His response There is no one here! So I tried to talk to him about HOW to find your local community. Here is what I basically said.
On this lovely website of alt they have a regional section called Get Local On the left hand side of that main page you will see some stats for your area, and then below that active groups for your region. A list of names and a count of how many people are in the groups. Look for the more active ones
there is usually at least one thats pretty much just talking about the lifestyle instead of specific kinds of fun. Those are the ones that tend to tell you about the local meet and greets or munches
Also you can look at the regional blogs and find people who talk about their lifestyles and are willing to answer questions and give advice, those people usually know whats going on in the local community (like me, I am pretty good about it)
Now sometimes they dont have very many posted meetings, and you can instead find some stuff on other free locations (ive heard of people finding groups on craigs list.. but I dont know about that one) The big ole Ya hoo groups list has tons of fetish groups, and thats where I found people as well in both Colorado and Seattle area. The trick here is to get into the adult section of ya hell. If you just look around and do a search for bdsm you wont find anything, you have to get to the adult section and then you can search. I dont know if there is a formal way to do it. I originally got added to an adult group and so all I have to do is go to my groups and then im in the adult part where I can query.
This site is good to find real people also if you can get past the fakes. If you look in the chat rooms that are regional if there are any.. and ask around there you can usually find someone who knows. There are also some groups you can join on places like bondage and collarme. Utilize these to find yourself some groups.
The same guy said he wanted his first introduction into the lifestyle to be a gang bang
Thats not the way to go either.. you need to be safe and smart. Meet the public groups in public settings, in vanilla locations. Look for someone whos not waving their hands around and is being quiet but looks self assured and not panicked (the panicked ones are the other newbies like you) That person has probably been there before, and is a real lifestyler. Approach respectfully and ask them questions (be honest that youre a newb, thats the best way to get them to answer your questions) Stay for a while and socialize.. dont try to pick anyone up on your first time, fetish communities are small, and you will get tagged as a fake. Learn what you can, be respectful and a lot of times you will find you get invited to something else.. another social.. or even a play party. Your good behavior and maturity at a social can get you in the front door of the community.
Yes everyones going to have a history with everyone else.. they will all talk. We are close nit.. because what we do is not socially acceptable. People will molest their friends right there in public sometimes. This does not mean that you can do the same. Build your relationship with the community carefully and smart.. and you will find the resources of the community at your disposal.. normally. Remember even if you dont meet everyone at this first event, they are more then likely going to hear about you if you misbehave. So have fun, but stay calm! Learn from those around you and dont assume. Dont tell every person that you meet who is the right sex for what your looking for that you want to be their slave.. but answer questions if you want people to look for you. Ive meet some newbies who were perfect for friends and set them up before. But Ive also met a lot of people who wanted to submit to me the first time they met me and usually written them off.
So thats it so far
. Any questions class?
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A moose bit my sister once...
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Jun 11, 2008 11:12 am
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I sit here sipping from my "christmas moose" mug... (GAWD where did i GET this thing???) Coffee the giver of life... yum!
And I know that something shifted yesterday. Had a great talk with Raven.... know that the way it is is not going to work out as a 24/7 thing between us... and so I am sad... but still in good spirit (no not the christmas spirit!) You can adore someone, feel like a perfect fit in almost every way conceivable.. and one thing... seemingly insignficant, can stop your future plans. Ahh well.. *sips from moose cup*
Each time it gets closer... I know that there is a perfect fit out there somewhere.. who has even that little bit i need in that one section, and can still make me laugh and talk on my level... and enjoy us both and make a hell of a sandwich..... yum.
Maybe I should watch some more monty python...
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in the begining...
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Jun 10, 2008 1:33 pm
1205 Views
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I am trying to remember some of the issues kitty and I faced in the begining... and how I helped us move past them.
The first time we met we were both careful... always watching what we did or said. She was so timid and shy, and I was resevered.. feeling things out. We had amazing chemistry and as the first days passed we found our comfort with eachother. we were able to hang out.. to touch.. to comfort eachother in hard times.
I would sit at the computer with her head in my lap while i worked. it was soft and the begining, and when we had issues, like her shyness, we would deal with them with time. I would make changes or requests... worked alot on her ego.. to let her know how beautiful and appealing she was to me. When I tried new approaches it would affect only her and me.... and now i look for a new path.. and I cant find one that wont affect us all three.
Im trying to remember the begining so i can apply some of that to the growth now for a three some... and getting stuck. I dont want to damage one to teach the other. I am a bit of a sociopath, and able to disconnect myself from things in many ways. (no i dont go murdering people.. its not that) With this disconnected mental state, I dont usually have a problem expressing the right state of mind.. or emotion.. even when its not quite there yet... But i cant control that from someone else. I cant make someone fein interest and attraction when they are overwhelmed by fear. Or if their not used to interacting emotionally in a threesome.. or physically. When do I push this.. when do I expect them to get over their fear... so that they dont damage the growth I have had with kitty in her own view of herself.
Gawd... Its come up many times before actually. There was another where it was the same comfort with one and not the other so much but reversed. Kitty doesnt care.. why shouldnt I just have what I want she says.... I guess I just want my cake and to eat it too.. LOL
Damn I hate new teritory.... i have to find the damn path.
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Real men wear tutu's!
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Jun 4, 2008 11:32 am
1307 Views
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A guy wrote to me today and said:
hi im am looking at your profile thinkign damn how can i get some of that?
So my response was the basics:
Be a lifestyle oriented switch or submissive and wanting more then just kinky sex. I have plenty of that already.
Miss Epona
His response was
Sorry only a real piece of man here, im to pretty to get hit, and i fuck not get fucked
Hmmm.. I didnt write him back because I was pretty sure he wouldnt understand. But wow is he off. A submissive male is a real peice of man. He is someone who isnt playing the game, he isnt pretending to be the most alpha male.. he isnt pissing in the corner trying to establish his dominance, or play the male games of "whos dick is bigger" or "who slept with more women this weekend" or any of the other games that men are forced to play by what society has created as their role.
And the real dominant males dont usually play those games either.. for the same reason.. they are SECURE in who they are, and dont have to play the games. They dont give a shit what the male pack thinks of them... in a Dominants case they care what their slaves think, and in a subs case, they care what their Dom thinks. Thats it. Sure sometimes its harder then others. That male game is always out there, guys getting drunk.. bonding through bullshit stories and beer.
And the line.. Too pretty to get hit.. LOL how pretty is kitty?? I hit her all the time. I dont beat her senseless very often... but that doesnt mean she is too pretty for it. Shes wonderful.. and when i do actually mark her, it is just that much more sexy to me.. to see the mark on her pale skin... *shivers* Oh yeah thats worthwhile.
And as far as getting fucked vrs doing the fucking. Hello.. my strapon is not the only way i fuck. I love to be fucked.. i love recieving..... There is something about penetrating someone else that is enjoyable.. but nilla sex.... with me getting fucked is great.. hello I love to orgasm!! They are great... thats why everyone chases them..
So to me... a submissive or a real dominant.. doesnt matter.. if you are secure in whatever your position is.. you are a real man (unless your a real woman of course.. LOL ) For me... you need to be submissive... maybe one day there might be a dominant male who can flip my cogs around.. but I have yet to meet him. LOL
Real Men wear TUTU's and Paint their toes pink.
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Cling wrap fun
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Jun 2, 2008 5:14 pm
1190 Views
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This weekend I played with cling wrap with kitty. I have a large roll like they use for the industreal stuff. I stripped her down and cling wrapped her from below her shoulders to her toes. With two slits for her cock and her ass to be accessable.
I hooked her up to the nipple vibrators and straddled her face and taunted her with my scent for a while. Teasing her body physically and with my scent. I had her slowly lick me for a while and then decided that I wanted to violate her.
I flipped her over and started to cut a whole for her ass, got one of the handled dildos and started to fuck her with them. The first time she came she strained so hard against the cling wrap that it hurt a little. But the orgasms after that were not as painful as that first one.
I love to hear her noises... to laugh as she cant help but be forced over the edge again... Sometimes when you hit just the right spots she screams a little... its very intense. After A while i turned her back over and pleasured myself on her cock.. Using her like a shemale blow up doll.
She was afraid she would cum again though so i cut her out and had her eat me out and finger my cunt till i was satisfied. I love using my she male fucktoy... even better when we were done was cuddling up with her pressed to the front of my body.
The photo was from the session with the spank skirt the other weekend.
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Kitty in her spanking skirt
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May 27, 2008 2:06 pm
1485 Views
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Had alot of fun with her in this one... spanked her ass till it was nice and red!!!
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Good weekend - long and detailed
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May 21, 2008 12:54 pm
1206 Views
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So we had company for the weekend, the guy I was talking about a few posts back. He came up on friday and i didnt get alot of work done. Mostly we just talked alot.
We had good chemistry online and we were seeing if it was the same in a face to face situation. Indeed it was, he responded to my energy very well. Just being around me was making him feel submissive, and him just being around was making me want to poke at and torture him. LOL.
We chit chatted throughout the day.. he would come sit at my feet and rest with his head on my legs or lap while i worked. I enjoyed petting his hair. He even did some straightening to the house without being prompted. LOL.. I about drooled my ass off with that one.
When kitty got home all three of us were playing wow together.. gawd.. three computer nerds and smart asses.. what AM i doing to myself.. LOL
The next day was the mountlake terrace munch and a party at atillas. We went to the munch, had a good time chatting with everyone there and catching up. This specific munch is one of my absolute favorite.. great group of people and conversation. Kitty was sitting on my left, and the new pup on my right, both there to be pet and held.
Afterwards we headed to atillas.. he was going to show us this electric, lights and sound combination unit he had, so we were excited by that. When we got there we were a bit surprised to see the family that ravenstorm had been with before us. There was a little bit of uncomfortable juju flying around, I tried to mitigate that as much as possible and dampen the affects of some emotional things.
See.. i had origionally been talking to raven before he tried it with this other poly family. when he told me that he was trying with them, he was taken off my possibility list. We only really talked occasionally then and only as friends. We started talking again after things didnt work with them, and essentially picked up full steam again. So I didnt really think anything of taking him to the party with us, but I think it might have been too soon for the other family.
I dont know why that happens to me... Kitty's previous play partner thought I stole her away too.. LOL Guess i just seem like im evil enough to do that. I dont debate the evil part.. we all know i am evil.. but there are still things i dont do.. like poaching.
Anyway... tensions continued to rise, dispite trying to disapate the juju. So I went and found atilla to take a look at his system. Kitty and I just recently forayed into electricity so trying out his tens unit was great. First we tried the lights and sound system... i think it will be great for hypnosis and continued brainwashing/slut training for the girl.
When he brought out the tens unit i got strapped to it, it had a whole bunch of different patterns it could do, and it was fun to try to keep my hand straight and curled as the electricity tried to force my arm and hand to curl into itself. I am quite sure I yelped loudly a couple of times, which I think is why there was a bit of a crowd watching.
At one point I wanted to see how much of the range I could take, and atilla cranked it up to 85 % before I called red. I have just gotta try stuff out on myself before I am willing to use them on kitty. So I am sure some people got an interesting perception of me and atilla trying it out. Fun toy... I am looking at saving about 1000 dollars for both units.
So after my arm had a huge work out via atilla... We decided to leave the party. I couldnt handle much more of the weird energy floating around, and had actually developed the beginings of a headache. So we drove home. kitty and raven had been wanting to play axis and allies, and I knew that i had to get rid of the headache.
I sent kitty to do an enema, while ravenstorm gave me a wonderful massage. I was purring all over from his hands. He tucked me in (i was a sponge) and those two went off to try to kill eachother in axis and allies.
A couple hours later I got up and went to the living room. THey were having a good time. I watched the two of them play a while longer before they put the game aside for the night. I had decided to do a play session with the two of them.. just a little intro one.
I tied kitty up in one of our leather restraint systems. Laid her on the bed next to raven, and tied him down and blind folded for a bit of sensory play.
Ice, nails, hands pain.... just different ways to increase the intensity. His response to my hand around his neck was perfect, and i mentally wrote that one down to be explored more later. His pain tollarance was a bit low, but I know he wants to work on that, and that it was higher before a large break in play.
At one point i laid against his body and teased him while I had kitty giving him oral. He lost all verbal function around that time. LOL. I gave him a break and gave kitty a dildo to suck on for a while.
I think some of the best responses i got from raven were when i was stradling him... over him in a dominant fashion, or with my hand around his neck. I love making em squirm. I got him to a heightened space, but know i didnt get him to sub space. I found alot of things I think will bring him there in the future as we develop our relationship.
Sunday was also very relaxed. Just being together mostly... raven is very touchy feely, so he would sit at my feet in the livingroom and i could wrap my legs around him. I had tons of massages, just because of us touching so much. The kids played the rest of their game, kitty won, but just barely. They plan on a rematch next time ravenstorms down with us.
Instead of taking him back sunday we decided to go back monday after work. kitty went to work on monday, and i started work. when raven got up he came in and spent time with me. He kept me well coffied and had a lovely lunch with him. He straightened up the living and kitchen area when not in with me. It was WONDERFUL. I appreciated the hell out of it, not sure i could even say thank you enough (Yes dominants can say thank you  )
We drove back around 7 and it had gone so well that there was a sadness around us all, just that he had to go back. He needs to finish his school though. So.. kitty and I drove back faily quietly, but it all felt just like a good fit. at one point I had said that we had not felt this since we had tina with us. Kitty agreed. It feels like a fit for us all. There are lots of things to work ok, but the energy and potential are definitely there.
Cant wait to see what develops!
(the picture is just a random pervy one from my hard drive)
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A note to kitty this weekend
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May 19, 2008 11:15 am
1235 Views
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Ok it's time again for someone to write to my kitty and not really read the profile. Ok honestly its a daily thing, but only every now and then when I respond to people and tell them... hey shes taken, do they write back and totaly mess things up.
So this guy wrote to her and origionaly said:
How are you today? How about you and i get to know each other and then maybe you can be my little slave girl. I will train you to be a good little girl or you will be punished with my paddle and belt. I know another slave girl that lives in bothel washington but she is taken already. I would love to have you. Write back real soon sub.
Ok so somewhat arrogant, but I wrote back fairly nice saying:
you must have your profiles confused, because this girl is collared, as it says in her profile as well as her intro line. Good luck finding your own.
Mistress Epona
I am writing this from kittys profile.. i do monitor her email, mostly because since shes been owned, she doesnt really ever look at her profile, as well as part of the control that she enjoys.
So the guy wrote back once more:
I am not confused about anything. Who do you think your talking too slave.
LOL... ok so My response is as follows... do you think there is any hope?
Who do I think I am talking to... hmmm. I think I am talking to a boy who can't read very well. He can't understand that the Owner of the slave he is trying to pick up wrote him a nice little reminder instead of flaming him. Just so he knew that he was talking to a OWNED slave. This boy that im also writing too (this is Mistress Epona if you havent figured it out yet pup) Is so arrogant that he cant see that he made the mistake, and doesnt have the grace to say.. "Oh gosh your right, i did get that backwards."
He also doesnt have the security in his so called 'dominance' to be able to deal with someone questioning him, or treating him like a human. He doesnt have the knowledge or power to earn someones submission to him, he just feels the need to call someone a slave or something and expcet them to respond to his assumption of his own power. He doesnt understand that just because some is a submissive, that they arent HIS submissive, and that he doesnt have the right to call them slave like he owns them... even though this is something that sooo many idiot 'dominants' do.. and they wonder why they dont get the real slaves.
So, I... Mistress Epona and owner of naughty_ts_sub.. think i am talking to a want-to-be-dom at this point. I could be wrong.... you could be a real dominant.. but if thats the case, you certainly have not displayed anything more then an ineptitude in dealing with someone, owned or otherwise.
So my suggestion to you, is that you reconsider how you approach submissives. Yes dominants are cocky to some extent. It doesnt mean that we cant be respectful of the people we are approaching. Especially since they are humans, and when you are first writing to someone, you really dont have the right to call them names or treat them like property, just because you think your dominant.
The only people who respond to that immediate disrespect or abuse off the bat, are people who either dont know what the lifestyle is like, or they dont have enough respect for themselves to make good slaves. So my suggestion for you is to learn more about the people you are trying to hook up with, before you immediately think they owe you something.
Now how you take this message back from me, will say alot about you. Will you blow up and tirade back to me about how I dont know what I am talking about, how I am completely in the wrong, because your dominant and there for right (completely ignoring that I am the Mistress of this girl yet again) Or are you going to listen to the last couple of paragraphs, and learn something? I hope you do the latter, I hope you take the time to understand what I am saying, and learn something. Maybe then you will find the happiness you are looking for.
Again, Best of luck to you..
Mistress Epona
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What may be
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May 16, 2008 6:36 pm
1247 Views
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So, Were trying again for our third. A local submissive guy, who feels submissive, instead of just "kinky sex me!"
I met him a couple of months ago. We had talked on here for a while, he was actually local. He didnt press to meet, he was moving away from bothell down south for school. Since he was moving down south he had been talking to another domme there for a while. He was going to see if things worked with her.
We met at a play party as friends, I liked the feel of his energy, he was there though with the other domme, so I had to put him out of my head. I am not a poacher, so I effectively crossed him off the list.
Now and then we chatted a bit, but for the most part i had him in friend catagory. Recently he became available again, and I talked to him friendly about things, why it didnt work with the other dominant, how he felt about things.. just being my mommy dommy self. LOL. He had crossed himself off my possible list too because of being about an hour or so away.
I told him about how Misty and I lived that far apart for half a year and still worked things out. He was just out of the other relationship so I wanted to make sure he was ok and not looking to me as a rebound. But honestly there had been something there the first time we meet. Neither of us could persue things.
So kitty and I invited him over for the weekend. He is just as much of a wow nerd as us.. so we all play on the same server.. and were going to the mountlake terrace meet as well as a local play party, to mostly hang out.
There is chemistry there, Who knows what the potential will be. As long as all three of us can keep ourselves open to the possibilities. It was great to see kitty and him chatting this morning. And Ive been talking to him while working all day... LOL I enjoy him...
So who knows... Maybe there is a chance for a new family member, with time of course. (especially since hes a total smart ass!!! Yaa for smart asses!!!)
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Miss Es Exotic Maid Services
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May 14, 2008 1:26 pm
1309 Views
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Ok since I cant seem to get any consistent sissy maids to clean my house, ive decided to make up my fantasy maid service.. The basic idea is this is maid service that is done while the owner is actually home, instead of coming home to a sparkling house, you get to watch the show. All maids are escorted by Bouncers until someones proven they can keep their hands to themselves as a regular client.
Strip-a-maid: This maid takes off a piece of clothing for every room she cleans, till shes down to her g-string in the bathroom, getting all sudsy while cleaning your tub and shower. Shes known for a spotless bathroom. Portable strippers pole is included for a couple of dances.
Cop-a-maid: This maid comes in cop gear, she writes you tickets for extra dishes, or for a high level of mess, and then cuffs you to a chair while she cleans your mess up. Shes got a baton and not afraid to use it. This woman does an average cleaning, but the amount of paperwork your going to have afterwards is quite extensive.. dont get the inked fingerprints on her cleaning!
Nurse-maid: This woman in a plastic nurses outfit comes to evaluate the health and condition of the house. While she is cleaning up your mess, she checks on her patient regularly to see if they need anything, maybe a sponge bath? This maid does work more in a personal area, the bedroom, and organizing your personal things so that her sick little boy can get better.
School girl-maid: This little tart will do ANYTHING to get out of her homework. She would even rather do your housework while playing with her cute pigtails and fussing with her very short plaid skirt. She tends to do a very surface level job on the house because of her lack of attention span.
Secretary-maid: In her cute little pencil skirt this girl sits and your desk and organizes your life. Shes preferred for detailed work, marking all the bills, doing your filing, and organizing your library of porn.
Bondage-maid: This one doesnt get a ton of work done, but the entertainment factor of watching her try to clean with her arms pinned behind her back, or her feet stuffed in ballet shoes is always worth the price. She not much of a talker, because shes gagged. She tends to clean things, slowly and carefully while restrained in some precarious fashion.
Dom-a-maid: This lady in leather comes to your house and then proceeds to make YOU clean, while she humiliates and degrades you and your performance. You are such a filthy dirty boy! When shes done with you, your house will never have sparkled so much, and you wont have been so sore in your life.
What kind of maid can you think of for my service to hire?? Which ones your favorite? *grins*
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To link to this blog (MistressEpona) use [blog MistressEpona] in your messages.
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