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A friend.....
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Feb 13, 2006 7:38 pm
1216 Views
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....very recently discovered their positive HIV status. I found out over the weekend.
Sure, it isn;t a death sentence anymore. ANd we are all praying that new medical breakthroughs will help to maintain some semblance of health.
But...it isn't fair....
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LOOK!! I am like so totally FAMOUS and shit!!!!!
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Feb 6, 2006 8:49 pm
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OK, so last year I participated in filming for a documentary. I did it mostly because I was referred to this filmmaker, Howard Scott Warshaw, and he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Also, with the dearth of submissives who teach and are high profile in the local community, I often get called on to do this kind of thing.
But who know, the guy was serious! And the Documentary is in the can, and on the screens.
it is called Vice & Consent
I was floored when I saw the "cast" list for this production....
Midori
Jay Wiseman
Race Bannon
Sybil Holiday
Janet Hardy (a.k.a. Lady Green a.a.k.s. Catherine Liszt)
William A. Henkin
Cleo Dubois
Dossie Easton
Michael Blue
Domina (of the Frugal Domme)
Evil Mommy Tina
...and little old me.
Now, of course, I know these guys, since they all are SF based. Well, Bay Area based. But most of 'em are also known, like, all over the world and shit.
I am too nervous to watch the DVD.
But if you wanna find out more about it, you can go to side of things.
Wowie.
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Well, that explains it...
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Feb 6, 2006 11:38 am
1279 Views
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Humor's Sexual Side
By: Willow Lawson
Summary: A woman who deploys a male sense of humor -- one that's aggressive or competitive -- is a turnoff to men.
Ask men and women which qualities are most attractive in a mate and both sexes are likely to rank a good sense of humor near the top of their lists. The trait is so sought after that it has its own acronym -- GSOH -- in dating ads.
Humor has been viewed as the one behavioral characteristic that men and women seek in roughly equal proportion. After all, everyone wants a partner who is entertaining and fun.
At least, that's the popular conception. However, humor researchers have long noted gender differences in the use and appreciation of humor. While women want to settle down with a guy who can crack a good joke, men, to a large degree, want a partner who laughs at their antics.
According to Eric Bressler, a psychologist at McMaster University in Canada, men and women don't mean the same thing when they say they value humor in a long-term partner. His research, forthcoming in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, manipulated how funny both men and women appeared on paper. Subjects were asked to choose a potential date of the opposite sex. Bressler found that women want a man who is a humor "generator," while men seek a humor "appreciator."
Geoffrey Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque and author of The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature, argues that the humor divide is best understood as a result of sexual selection: Women are the choosier sex, and because they prefer funny mena signal of cognitive fitnessmen learned to deploy humor and wit to attract a mate and perhaps to outsmart other men.
"Men taunt other men with clever nicknames and insults," says John Morreal, a professor of religion at William and Mary College in Williamsburg, Virginia, who has studied humor for 25 years. "That isn't something that women do. They don't tend to play practical jokes, or engage in humor that humiliates or puts somebody down."
The basic difference is that males tend to use humor to compete with other men, while women tend to use humor to bond with others. Studies show that men more often use humor to jockey for position with other males when they are in the company of women.
The allure of male humor is so strong that female laughter may have evolved as a signal of sexual interestpicture a woman's girlish giggles as she flirts with a man at a bar. Indeed, a German study found that when male and female strangers engaged in natural conversation, the degree to which a woman laughed while talking to a man was indicative of her interest in dating him. How much the woman laughed also predicted the man's desire to date her. On the flip side, how often a man laughed was unrelated to his interest in a woman.
Bressler says that his study indicates humor likely developed through sexual selection because it is most desirable in romantic relationships. Women don't care about a friend's sense of humor, whether male or female.
A woman who deploys a typically male sense of humorone that's aggressive or competitiveis a turnoff to men, says Don Nilsen, a linguistics professor at Arizona State University in Tempe and an expert on humor. Many men feel threatened, perceiving a funny woman as a rival or worrying that they'll become a target of her sharp tongue. "I think every man in the world loves the humor, even the sexual put-down humor, of Judy Tenuta or Joan Rivers," he says. "But very few men want to marry them."
Funny guys may be attractive, Nilsen says, because they tend to be creative, "outside the box" thinkers. They also have "double vision," the ability to understand another's point of view, he says, both traits that are especially alluring to women.
Nilsen agrees with the evolutionary rationale of humor, up to a point. It doesn't explain, for example, how humor operates in long-term relationships, he argues. To say that men don't seek a funny mate is "painting with a broad brush." Men who do appreciate their female partner's humor are usually more secure, mature and educated than the average guy, he says. They hold their mates in high esteem and aren't intimidated.
A woman would do well to find a man who enjoys her humor, says Nilsen, because that's an indication of his own self-esteem and willingness to be supportive.
Marriage researchers concur. Relationship expert John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, has found that when humor plays a role in diffusing tension and conflict, marriages tend to last longer. Additional studies show that people who joke with their spouses in everyday situations tend to be happier in their marriage than couples who don't.
A playful and humorous frame of mind is protective, even when spouses don't agree about what they find to be funny.
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all of the bruises are on the inside...
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Feb 5, 2006 2:35 pm
1313 Views
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There comes a point where you havent played for a while, where maybe you just want a particular sort of closeness that comes from playing with a partner who knows your reactions, knows how far to push, and how to play you perfectly. Not having someone like that in my life at the moment, sometimes Ill play with a friend, and enjoy that interaction. It feels safe, and I can trust that they wont leave me feeling used and abandoned.
But of late I am cycling back up to that place where a platonic play-date or a friendly flogging seems like a thin substitute. I cant really take as much as I want to take if I dont feel submissive to the person I am playing with, and that hampers me somewhat.
Conversely, if someone with whom I have a casual relationship, or I dont know well does push me, I am likely to give in, and open up a little further than is warranted. Then I slip in to my headspace a bit too deeply, and guess who has to sort that aftermath out? Certainly not the person who was just enjoying a causal bout of slap&tickle.
It is a bit tough to struggle with the desire to have the physical desire met, but leeriness about the emotional sinkhole that will most likely follow thereafter.
Is it any different for dominants? I guess they must also have the desire to have that connection and, if they are partnerless, it can create a bit of a gap. But so many of the dominants I know are quite capable of playing with a submissive or bottom, having fun, then disconnecting cleanly.
So I suppose I have my own self to blame. I dont like to feel needy
but I do need to feel needed.
Peace.
Mo
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MySpacers?
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Feb 5, 2006 3:02 am
1120 Views
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If you are on MySpace, look me up! I'm there under "mollena" and I have no friends 
xoxo
Mo
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Still crossed!
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Feb 5, 2006 3:01 am
1087 Views
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Keep those fingers crossed. Still.
The interview went well. Interestingly enough, my disclosing the fact that I was involved in the kink community, while I thought it would set me apart from other applicants since they made a point about anyone applying for the position having to be OK with pornography, actually became a major talking point. While I may be able to understand someone having concerns about the separation of church and state in the instance of your standard office job, I have managed to avoid wearing corsets to work for the past 10 years. I also dont think that, just because you are working in a company distributing smut, that it means you are any less professional or respectful of your co-workers.
He had some interesting hypotheticals and I think I did well, and I know I was honest and straightforward. He said he thought it was a good interview, and that he had a couple of applicants yet to see, blah blah blah. It was kind of hard to get a read, but we shall see.
And hey if this one doesnt hit, I have a couple of more leads
I will be rolling onwards and upwards.
Love
Mo
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*SIGH* Is it just me or are you non-plussed.....
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Feb 1, 2006 8:45 am
1281 Views
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.....when you see a personal ad here on ALT from a "Dominant" (or "Dominate, as so many ignorant people will say.) and there is a picture of their penis?
Is THAT what I am supposed to submit to?
If so, you sure as hell better make sure that it is capable of bludgeoning me into unconsciousness.
*pleah*
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One more hudle o'er leapt !!
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Jan 30, 2006 10:12 pm
1034 Views
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I received a call this afternoon from the HR person: she said they're fast-tracking and are starting interviewed on Wednesday, and could I come in, ASAP!!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEPA!!
So, I am going in this Wednesday, 6: 00 PM PST
This means set your alarm clock, cell phone, palm pilot, WHATEVAH, and stop and send the positive vibe that I wow the pants off of The CEO of the Entice TV.
If (WHEN!!!!!) I get this job, oh boy, boy howdy...a smoking round o'porn for all!!
love
Mo
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RAVE: for everyone who has welcomed me back!
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Jan 29, 2006 6:19 pm
1054 Views
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Thanks everybody!
I can't thank you enough for the incredibly warm welcome.
 , your campaign seems to have caught on...and thanks to the rock and rolling rooting-tooting-chickin-slicing  and the occasionally lookin' like Simon LeBon hottie hotster  for carrying on as well, and thanks to the dozens and dozens of people who were gracious enough to take a moment and drop me notes, on and offline.
I am sorry to have received e-mail from quite a few people who have decided not to blog any longe....you are also sorely missed, and thank goodness that, at least in a few cases, they have decided to carry-on blogging elsewhere!
xoxo
M{=}
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Try....not....to....obsess....
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Jan 29, 2006 6:10 pm
908 Views
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I can't think about anything except this new job.
Grr.
IN answer to the offline message as to why my current job is sucky...it isn't that I have too much work to do. It isn't that it is super challenging. It isn't one huge thing. It has been a general decline since the acquisition of the company I started working for, and the decline of the corporate culture.
The final straws were an abysmally shitty annual review, and the announcement that I would be doled out to yet another subdivision of my company. These are the same people who anonymously, and passive aggressively slaughtered my character and commitment, in a way which surprised even my boss. As I was sitting there with him and the other new boss I have (I have 4 direct supervisors, way to create a feeling of disconnection, no?) being read my review, I could not believe how badly I felt. And I decided "You know, a company that solicits annual review information, does not let the person who is being reviewed have any knowledge of who is talking about them, and then lets these anonymous people influence whether the person gets a salary increase is not any place I bloody want to work."
Yeah, it is my bad for steering clear of the asshole freaky control-freak people in my division.
But why on earth do they then get to sit and say "Oh, well, she isn't pro-active in asking us for work, and has a bad attitude." ANONYMOUSLY.
Fuck that, I think.
I spent a good week feeling miserable.
The I thought wait a second...I won awards and changed entire office work-flows and Policy and Procedures with half my brain tied behind my back. It isn't me, it is this job.
I know that no one thing can fix all of your problems.
But starting fresh at a brand-new company with a starting salary potentially 1½ times what I am making now, in what I anticipate to be an infinitely superior environment, within a 15 minute door-to-door commute, with potential for growth in an industry which I have always dreamed would be the ultimate "day job" where I could pull together every aspect of my expertise in various fields just makes my head explode.
So, yeah, it ain't just sitting at a desk. I am glad to work, and work hard....where I am challenged and ....
OK, well, that is enough.
They'd be foolish not to hire me.
{/obsessive freak-out}
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To link to this blog (Mollena) use [blog Mollena] in your messages.
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