|
|
|
Some coolness :-)
|
Oct 30, 2008 2:57 pm
1270 Views
|
Things are looking neat on the "Mo As Sex Blogger" world.
My site, named after me, of course, is starting to pipe up here and there. Several sites and lists that track perverts and sexy blog types are noticing my writing, which is pretty cool. For those who track such thing, being included on bestsexbloggers and Sugasm are pretty neat! Especially as I am new to the in the sexblogging thing. 
And the coolest part is that I have the freedom to fully express myself there, which is, obviously, limited here.
I get really pissy when I try to blog here because I can't linkout, or add video, or link to some other neat thing...
On the "Hey! Neat!" front, I'll be in Arizona with the nice people at APEX next weekend, talking about this and that for a couple of classes.
I was invited to an event next year that normally seems to specialize in Rope Bondage teachers. It dovetailed nicely with an idea I had for a class about bondage communication skills fro bottoms, and reading your bottom skill stuff for tops, but I am non-plussed that they decided to ask me to present! Don't get me wrong, it is an insane honor. But I feel like "Shit, they have like international shibari masters teaching there. I'm the fat black slave girl. What the fuck am I doing there?!?"
I have several classes booked in the Bay Area next year as well, and I expect that I will be freaking out people in 2009. So that is cool.
Oh! Yeah! And I'll be reviewing porn for XCritic as well.
Um, win!
On the dating front...yeah.
Still tumbleweeded.
But it is nice to know that the ex-unboyfriend is out and about and having a lot of success in meeting chicks.
While I have gotten past the extra bitter and furious phase of the whole "former partner starts dating" thing, I still fall back to wondering what is going on that makes it to tough to find partners. Well, tough for a gal in SF looking for a monogamous kinky male close to her age. And close to her zip code.
It is enough to make me wanna import a dom from overseas.
Mail order tops.
Hm........
OK, I have to get back to this editing. I am WAY behind and the uploader tool I have to work with makes me cry.
Love
Mo
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
Sometimes I Hate what I Need.
|
Oct 29, 2008 12:01 pm
1181 Views
|
My subconscious Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic was thrumming with memory and pulsing with perversion everywhere for me this weekend.
I had a lovely brunch with a dear friend on Sunday. He is, among many things, a sadist and of British extraction.
These things are, in my book, two of the the very Pillars of Win.
Being extremely well-hung and madly craving constant contact with my boobs are two more Pillars Of Win.
But I digress
Wed played several weeks back, and due to myriad reasons (my insanity and odd life-processing methodology, for starters) had not really gone into depth about the scene.
It is easy to forget that sadistic people need love and reassurance too. It isnt great to leave them hanging with questions like OK, did they LIKE the scene? If they HATED it, was it the GOOD kind of hate (that makes you squirm and reluctantly crave more of the same treatment)? Or was it the BAD kind (which leads to flamewars and scorched earth blog-posts)?
In this case, I had the added bonus of this being the first scene Id done in a long time. I had fears that my pain tolerance would be shot to hell.
It wasnt.
I was nervous Id be self-conscious about being butt-ass nekkid in the dungeon.
I wasnt.
The wildcard, for me, in any scene is The Wall.
Most scenes for me have a moment of clarity where I realize that, on the face of it, this is insane, that I must be crazy, that the situations patently absurd.
I cant ever predict when The Wall will be hit.
Andrew thought that the Extreme Clothes-pin-On-The-Nipple-Repositioning-Moment was the tense point for me.
And, fair game.
I did, if I recall correctly, unleash a top-o-the-lung stream of shrieked invective, invoking several deities, possible suggestions of incestuous relations with his Mother, and profane insistence that his derangement ought to be punished and that I would see to that personally.
Just as soon as I was released from the duct tape, plastic wrap ropes and cuffs.
But it was not the pain that was The Wall for me in that scene. It was the order to lick his boots.
A boot fetishist afraid of a little dirt? WHay that is as absurd as....
A boot fetishist afraid of a little dirt? Why, that is as absurd as....
Well, not just lick them.
Yeah, lick the sole.
Go ahead. Freak out.
I did.
But in that internal way that feels like a 45 minute debate with opening position statements, rebuttals, point and counterpoint, recess, concluding arguments, recess, voting, and presentation of the verdict.
All of this happens within about 27 seconds.
I am hardly a mysophobe. But I dont make a practice of tonguing the fucking curb either.
After what felt like an eternity of emotional athetosis, I fucking licked the fucking boot.
Why? Because he wanted me to.
And because it gets me hot to do shit I absolutely do not want to do.
That is my simple core of submission. I feel like a million bucks when I can obey someone I trust.
I can fully expect to be doing a bit more of that, next we play, because one of the things that HE enjoys is having someone do something that is edgy for them, simply to please him.
Something else that works for me is being accountable. Te accountability problem is a big one in my life, as I tend to unravel in arenas of my personal space and maintenance thereof if I feel like No one cares.
But do it for YOU! some of you are shouting at your monitors Youll feel better if you keep yourself in a tidy space, sweep and dust and clean and all of those self care th
Ssssh.
Technically, sure, maybe.
But it brings me no frisson of pleasure to do that shit for myself
Now, if I know I am accountable, that someone will be checking up on me, then it becomes far more likely Ill do the thing.
I hate being responsible. I despise the thought of someone checking up on me. I bristle at the constant threat of being held to measure, being inspected, risking failure.
And because of that hatred, bristling, threatening energy, I love it I love it I love it.
Andrews casual aside about possibly inviting himself over for Tea so that he can make sure everything is in order. filed me with indignant dread and a smart ass retort and an absolute demurral.
Right. Thanks but no thanks.
And part of me just said
Yes, please.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
MIA
|
Oct 22, 2008 12:01 am
1096 Views
|
Hi 
I am not dead, though last week after I'd had my tooth abruptly and summarily pried out of my jaw and was made subsequently sick as a projectile pukin' dog by the Vicodin for the pain and then my poor private ladyparts made itchier than a shaved punani in wool panties due to the Armageddon of friendly flora and fauna "Down There" which resulted in my having to use a &^%$ anti-yeast infection cream that made things SO SENSITIVE that The Lord's Own Heavenly TP couldn't be brought near it....
The beat goes on.
Last week was BAD.
But I am still plugging away. And from my horrid Bed Of Torments I have been working on my "all me, all mine" blog! I am my own domain and errything! my site is named mollena, so come by and visit there.
I am trying to have a less craptastic week than the one had.
Sadly and strangely, I am not so certain I can salvage this week...
How are you doing?
And if you have a recent blog post that pretty much sums up hoe you are doing, and wish to take a moment and post it here, I will read it and that will be lovely.
And that way can add your blog to my RSS, because it is WAY better that way!
I miss being able to chill on this site...zoiks.
Love
Mo
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
extractions of teeth and love.
|
Oct 15, 2008 10:14 pm
1333 Views
|
Being in bed recovering from an emergency (and fuckin' brutal) tooth extraction has forced me to slow the fuck down for a day or so.
In the past week I have had some pretty amazing stuff said to my face.
I had someone who had "known" me as an acquaintance and from my online rambling for years now, and they told me in very humbling eloquent terms that they thought I was really important to their growth in the Leather Community. It is the best kind of stunning to have a new friend so openly share something like that. I am still amazed!
I had someone else whom I have SERIOUSLY admired for many years say that they found me inspiring in their own sobriety.
And I have had several really dear friends and wonderful people offer me the really awesome gift of telling me that they love me, and are proud of me.
This is really good timing as I have been feeling like a drifty floaty weird kid of late.
On FaceBook an old friend from High School commented that I was"still as" funny as she remembered, or something to that effect.
A lot of what I am learning really quickly of late is that, even as I feel uncertain and awkward and like a dorkball, people DO care about me. And I have something useful and uplifting that folks can take away from my compulsion to "overshare".
Well, no. I don't want to perjoratize myself anymore.
It is just me. Part of what makes me me is my capacity to absorb life's lint, motes, fluff, remnants and scraps into a quilt of my own.
And yeah, that is pretty good stuff it seems.
So if you are reading this it is probably true that you give a shit about me to some extent. And I thank you for helping me keep walking, especially on those days when picking my own feet up seems beyond me.
love
Mo
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
Mocking monogamy..
|
Oct 12, 2008 12:52 am
1335 Views
|
I attended a Munch this afternoon that I would call my "Home Munch". It is the direct descendant of the first Munch I attended. Warts and all, I have attended this munch, with greater and lesser regularity, for 11 years or so.
Today I stood to introduce myself at the Munch, as is the custom at this event.
After a slew of people introducing themselves as "Bi-Poly-Switch", one.....after.....the.....other. I stood and introduced myself with some humor, and then got to my "Box-O-Labels" and referred to myself as a service oriented submissive slave and...pause...Monogamous...
And then several peopled booed. Booed and jeered.
I was stunned but, as is my way, I tried to turn to the humor. "Hey, don't hate. Step up to the plate." That got laughs.
I am always about getting the laugh. Sometimes at the expense of my feelings.
Because it made me feel mocked, hopeless and depressed.
I get that it is unlikely any of these folks meant harm.
But what if a new person was sitting there and saw someone known to the group laughed at for being monogamous?
How does that further push the idea that monogamy is uncool? That people will laugh at you for wanting one partner?
I am not even a hard-line monogamist. I think that it can be cool to play with other people: known quantities and friends. I would also be fine NOT playing with anyone else if I had a partner who wished that to be our dynamic.
I am hardly a person to scold people when they make a joke at my expense.
But some jokes are hurtful. And some jeers can wound.
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
LEAVE
.THE
.VANILLAS
..ALONE!!!!!
|
Oct 8, 2008 2:08 pm
1389 Views
|
I fucking love vanilla ice cream. It is my favorite flavor. And by ice cream I mean frozen yogurt as I am violently lactose intolerant. I love frozen vanilla yogurt.
There. Ive said it!
Vanilla pudding, vanilla cake
.when I was a kid, I used to love adding a capfull of vanilla flavoring to my milk.
Vanilla is a rich complex flavor. Aside from saffron, I dont think there is any more expensive spice around.
How then did the term become a snarkysnide put-down among the Alternative Community cognoscenti?
Oh yeah, it is.
You might not even know this, but somewhere, in a Dungeon near you, some pervert is probably cracking wise about how sorry they are for Vanillas, since theyll never ever know how much more wonderful, awesome and more betterer it is to be kinky.
Vanilla is a term commonly used to convey the idea is that your straight-up missionary style un-creative sex is vanilla and, by definition, boring, uninspired, and not awesome.
Delicate, Tremblig Flower of Vanillaness.
Maybe.
Sure.
Whatev.
Some of the best sex Ive had has been in the dark, in the missionary position, and heterosexually oriented.
This does nothing to compromise the spontaneous orgasms I have experienced while being suspended and beaten with floggers and canes.
Sex: it are a smorgasbord, and I enjoy sampling everything from pad-thai to pierogis.
Where I get less thrilled is when the pejorative slant comes in.
BDSM people will often have a defensive Us vs. Them approach, not uncommon to many marginalized or special-interest communities. Some dyed-in-the-faux-fur-Burners tag those who are less-hardcore-than-they as civilians, for example. It can be protective, as in Lets help those civilians in the next camp with their shade cover! or it can be less so, as in I am so tired of these fucking civilians treating the fucking Burn like a fucking frat party!
It does not rankle me to apply the label of vanilla to a sex act, a flavor of cupcake, or porn. It DOES bug me to apply it to people, and it REALLY chafes my pawpaw when it is derisive.
See folks, you dont know what the hell your co-worker is up to in their bedroom!
Your uptight pain-in-the-ass Project Manager might be a closet scat-fiend sploshing Anthro pig. You just wouldnt know it, because he maybe considers his sex life private. And your Admin COULD be an Empress in the Other World Kingdom. And, as happened to me, your Sales Guy could be a former International Mr. Drummer. But it did not come up in conversation until he spotted me flagging a bondage ring!
People in the public community all have one thing in common: they are comfortable with a degree of publicity and advertising about their sexual deviance.
That doesnt make you special. It makes you a bit of an exhibitionist. Or perhaps a huge attention whore. *cough*. But I fail to see how it gives you the right to assume anything about anyone elses fuck-lives.
If you need a way to separate yourself from the mainstream, how about leaving it to people to decide for themselves where that breakaway occurs?
When referring to people who:
· are not publicly involved in leather.
· have not declared their sexual preferences to me.
· are my Mom.
I call em Non Kink-Identified.
That leaves them room to identify as such IF THEY FEEL LIKE IT.
That removes the pejorative sheen from the dialogue, and leaves us open to find our commonality.
That lets us dialogue with anyone, without prejudice or arrogance.
That lets them explore a dialogue with you rather than feel defensive about your labeling them boring and unenlightened
And that puts you in a better position to educate, illuminate and, ultimately, seduce them to The Dark Side.
Whaddya think? Pervs? And NKI peeps: DOES it rankle you to be so labeled?
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
Fucking Fundie Pervs.
|
Oct 3, 2008 1:34 pm
1472 Views
|
I have observed, over the years, a passive-aggressive tendency among perverts to denigrate one anothers choices within the Leather Lifestyle.
For me the MOST insidious behaviour is the posturing of some people who self-identify as slaves. They are the ones most often referring to themselves with the dubious title True slaves, and farting in the general direction of anyone who disagrees with their Fundamentalist Leatherview.
They love to make blanket judgments as to what a slave is, how a slave behaves, what a slave wears, how a slave walks, how a slave slaves.
Too often have I seen a person on a forum or mailing list hold forth about how Only slaves can be truly collared. Or nattering on about how Submissives just dont have the slave heart. and of course Ye Hoary Olde I started as a submissive but grew into slavery.
As though being owned property is like getting to put on the Big Kid Underpants.
Dominants are guilty as well of laying on the funky-ass head-trips.If you were a real slave, you would obey me! straight to the head, regardless of whether or not youve even MET the person.
A recent discussion on FetLife, (a really cool website started up by some Canuck Perv named John Baku) raised my hackles. And not in a good way, you know I loves me some hackle raising shit, but this was decidedly NOT erotic.
On a forum (a forum FOR SUBMISSIVES, mind!) a person smarming over their collared slave status was disparaging those who wear collars simply because they like them as, obviously , not taking collars as seriously as those who would only wear them because they were owned.
They liken them to a wedding ring. And say that, like a wedding ring, they would never wear one if they werent married. Because it goes against tradition.
Uh
whose tradition, exactly? Wedding rings are a largely European custom. And fairly recent. And, until VERY recently, (historically speaking) men didnt wear em.
As far as touting collars as a traditional symbol of ownership, I call shenanigans again. Dogs do not wear collars because you are demonstrating your dominance. They wear them so that they can be actively controlled.
In SOME Leather traditions, a collar is a mark of inexperience or recalcitrance. The collared slave is a slave who needs the reminder that they ARE property.
A trusted slave, like a trusted horse, needs no physical reminder. Obedience is a given. The master knows they are in control.
TYPICALLY, in the United States, slaves were collared for shipment or punishment. Collars were not a day-to-day standard. There might be a Dress collar for fancy occasions, to display the wealth of the owner. BLING! Look I am so fucking wealthy my horse has a gold-chased bridle, my dog has a diamond studded harness, and Mammy here has a dope-ass silver collar. Booya, motherfuckers! THAT is how I roll.
So to blather about how Old School you are because you hold collars to a higher regard is simply a pile of smoking offal. Collars, like any symbol, only possess the magic with which we imbue them.
Didnt we come to form a Leather Community because we had to do this thing, this love, this sex, this play, this lifestyle, OUR WAY? Since when do you get to smear your smug absolutism all over my fucking love life? All over my spiritual practice? How the HELL do you have the temerity to cast aspersions on my level of respect for a symbol because i do not regard it in precisely the same way that you do?
Well, I suppose they have the gall because they know that THEIR way is the One True Way.
Fundie Perverts.
Un-Fuck em.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (Mollena) use [blog Mollena] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
111
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
|
