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Speaking of (WARNING: explicit and possibly disturbing / Triggering)
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Jun 15, 2005 1:50 pm
1773 Views
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[disclaimer] I will reiterate it, because I don't want to upset someone: this is a description of an impromptu scene I experienced several years ago. I post it since there have been several threads on scenes that seem non-consensual assault-esque, and while there is implicit consent overall, the act described herein is not something I condone for everyone, and Might Be Upsetting)[/disclaimer]
A thirty day practically live-in service contract can be either fun or grueling. In the middle of a heat wave in the middle of a particularly warm summer, it can be both. I was in service to a friend of mine, a long time play partner, and today was the day to clean the house. No mean feat for a 3-story 3 bedroom 3 bathroom home with a dungeon downstairs that had toys scattered everyplace from goddess-knows-what hes been up to the night before. But I settled in to the task, since it helps me to zone out.
By the time I got to the first floor, even the AC was not adequate to keep me cool so I was down to a bra. The noise from the vacuum was pretty loud, and I didnt hear him walk down from his office on the second floor of the house and lean in the doorway. I jumped startled when I saw him there, waved hi, and continued my work. He didnt leave, and I was feeling a bit self-conscious, vacuuming naked, and not feeling particularly sexy. He had this kind of thoughtful but blank look as he watched.
With him, this is Never A Good Sign. He abruptly left.
I didnt feel any better. When theres a wasp in the room youd like to know where it is and what it is up to. With him out of eyeshot, it was impossible to know what in hell he had planned. If anything. But that look
I shrugged it off and continued to clean.
About ten minutes or so later, he came back downstairs. This time in the same state of undress as me. Well, without the bra, of course. I took a step back because
.I was a bit scared. And I was really pretty much in the Clean the house!! zone, so a 64 tall naked frosty-eyed man striding towards you is enough to give you pause. He wrapped my braids in his hand, yanked back my head and instructed me to Turn the fucking vacuum cleaner off.
It was tough, bent backwards as I was, but IO felt around with my foot and shut it down. The sudden silence was deafening. With another wrap of my hair around his fist, I was driven down to my knees and my mouth driven over his cock. The unexpected shove made me gag and wheeze, and push my hands against his thighs, trying to dislodge him. My hands were immediately slapped away, my head pulled backwards, and my face, both cheeks, left and right, slapped also.
there is one handhold on reality gone
He was eerily silent as he shoved his cock back down my throat, and I tried to relax, to not choke
.how long before I was yanked up and thrown over the back of the couch? No idea. I was starting to cry from the disorienting feeling of having to change gears, of not being aroused, and not knowing what in hell he was about to do
I realized he was preparing to fuck me, a condom wrapper drifting in the periphery of my vision.
P---pplease-- Im on my period
He looked downSo you are. He jerked me back to my feet, dragged me to the bathroom and pushed me down on the toilet, reaching between my legs to pull the tampon out.
oo, the grip on reality is slipping
not too many fingers left
hold on
I was suddenly so humiliated, I burst into tears. My vision was blurred by hot exploding lachrymation as he lifted me bodily off of the toilet, pushing me back towards the couch.
Bent over again, I feel him entering me suddenly. Under most circumstances, this would have been far, far too painful, but there was plenty of blood to ease his entry. I continued to cry as he fucked me over the back of the couch, my arms wrapped around my head to cradle me from banging it against the wall. My scalp ached from his constant pulling pulling pulling then oh my god what is he doing
I felt the head of his cock pressed against my ass. No lube, no
.no way
I pulled around, his face millimeters from mine, his eyes really quite
not
there
I wept.
You cant
.you cant do that
you need lube
something
He smiled that terrible, terrible smile.
Oh, I think that isnt a problem
theres plenty of blood.
And in one thrust, he made his point.
I felt as though Id been punched in the stomach, the pain was so great. I tried to not scream
it was the middle of the afternoon in a Very Nice Neighborhood and I didnt want to have the Police involved but GODDESS goddess did it hurt. I was hyperventilating and barking into the couch when he pulled my head back, and whispered
Scream all you want to one is gonna come help you anyway, you little black bitch...
And scream I did. Shrieking wailing incoherent gurgling shouts rent the quiet of the room, and the pain was profound. White hot with my skin ice cold and just to make it more interesting his teeth in the back of my neck so that the loop of pain became even more rapid and dangerous
I was losing my mind, the grip slipping
His thrusts became staggered, deeper, his hand shoved me forward until I was against the wall and pillows barely able to breathe, and I knew he was about to be finished and I was glad because this ordeal would be over and Id have proven I could take it and it would be over but then then he said did he I think he said it just three words
Come. For. Me
and goddesses help me I did, I did shaking so hard he was almost losing his hold on me screaming so loudly and without restraint that my throat felt flayed and hurt his terrible, terrible growls in my ear pushing me further even and holy shit I cannot stop another wave of punishing obliterating orgasm...
gone gone gone nothing to hold on to
some time passed.
There was a warm wet towel tossed at me, casually. Clean yourself up. Youre a mess. And finish vacuuming.
And I did.
Then I curled on the corner of the same couch where Id been so brutally violated, so suddenly, and just stayed. Very. Still.
He came bouncing back downstairs, dressed again, grinning like a kid.
Hey!! Look! Here! Theres sorbet!! I brought you mango. Thats your favorite, right?
SO thoughtful
.no?
{=}
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6
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Open letter to a new blogger...hey, daintything!!
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Jun 14, 2005 11:37 pm
1691 Views
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I wish I did not have to post this kind of post.
dantything, unfortunately has a blog not set to accept replies. But I am hoping that she reads this....
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to defend your boundaries.
Your dominant has NO RIGHT to press you on hard limits.
You are ABSOULTELY CORRRECT to place your emotional safety about all else.
When I was first being trained, I was given "The Prime Directive"
the gist of it was the following:
The submissive / slave / property is to protect the Owner's property at all costs: UP TO AND INCLUDING protecting the property from the Owner themselves.
This means you have a DUTY to keep yourself safe.
And the type of boundary crossing you describe, even without the specifics, smacks of a non-positive situation.
Well, you know how to contact me if you'd like. But you must know, you HAVE to know, the game being perpetrated on you is not submission. It is emotionally unsafe.
Peace
~Mollena
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2
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Bitter, bitter mouthful of ashes....
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Jun 14, 2005 11:13 pm
1655 Views
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how selfish, how
petty
and greedy
to have to force
jollity
these days
it isn't even good when
i get good news from friends
this one has a new lover
a switch
isn't she happy
work is great
her son is happy
she is buying a house
she and her new lover going on a trip
another acquaintance
types at me
another little pixel box
of someone elses
great
fucking
news
oh, you are
recently
collared
and your fiancée
is just fine with this
and you are tripping
high
from
endorphins
and isn't that wonderful
i can say
and type the smiley faces
that betray
my own self-pitying tears
the bitter ashen taste
of unseemly jealousy
i dont begrudge anyone
ever
never anyone
their happiness
i
just
well
i would like some
too
please
thank you
to
anyone listening
my gods seem busy these days
but i still pray.
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5
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I don't get it...
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Jun 14, 2005 12:15 pm
1596 Views
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....see, when you first make contact with someone, in an online setting, it is easy to dismiss that person. You haven't met, they are still just a photo and fingers typing something somewhere. I understand that it might be tough to adjust to doing stuff like, say, responding to an e-mail. Hey, life happens, you know? But is it so very, very discouraging when I overcome my fear of being rejected or pushed away yet again to reach out to someone and to initiate setting up a date.
How long would it take to return an e-mail? Or make a phone call?
I have so many people asking me how I could possibly be single...yadda ya yadda. I haven't had anything beyond a first date in well over a year. I'm pretty easy to talk to, I am not stand-offish, I am up front about what I'm looking for, and polite to people who approach me politely. I suppose I am grateful that I haven't had a lot of bad dates, or idiots trying to bug me...well, not many...but would it be so tough for someone to follow-through once in a whole?
If you can't take 90 seconds to return an e-mail to someone you say you are interested in meeting, why would I think that, later on down the road, you'd be an attentive responsive partner?
(Yeah, I already have a call in for the Waaaaaaambulance
)
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8
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The LABCD Strikes....AGAIN!!!!!
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Jun 13, 2005 5:48 pm
1420 Views
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OK, you can't make this shit up:
(reference June 10th Post for backstory)
LABCD we hooked up one morning about a year ago
LABCD: remember me?
LABCD: or you dont want to talk?
LABCD has selected the "*****! Photos" IMVironment.
LABCD: here
LABCD: thats me in case you dont remember
Mo: A year ago? Goodness. I do recall. I also recall that when you contacted me a couple of weeks afterwards I indicated I wasn't interested in another hook up, thanks but no thanks.
LABCD has closed the photos IMV.
LABCD: Iw anted to make it up to you...
LABCD: but I respect your feelings...
LABCD: didn't mean to upset you.. hope you understand that.... can we still be freinds?
LABCD: I was reading your site and thought some of the things you are into sounded cool
LABCD: the BDSM stuff and woudl be own to check it out with you
LABCD: so you have no interest in talking to me ? jsut let me know and I will leave you alone
Mo: Sorry for the delay...my connection is spoty. No, thanks, I appreciate your taking the time, but no.
LABCD: even for strap on play?
At this point, I will confess
I just closed the window.
but not before saving it 
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3
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dim sum and then some...
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Jun 13, 2005 4:05 pm
1587 Views
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I have been having a VERY San Francisco weekend.
On our way to Dim Sum, krisleathers and me were at a stoplight in her FABulous ragtop, when honking and cheering caught our attention. Nobody ever EXPECTS about 35 naked bicyclists cruising down Haight Street towards Downtown, but no one is ever shocked either. Several were even painted red.
"This one time...at Burning Man..." That one's for you, krisleathers 
After a delicious and fantastic Dim Sum, I'd mentioned that the historic Cliff House restaurant was open again after the remodel, so she thought it would be fun to check it out. I had plenty of time, so off we went. It was a crazily windy afternoon, perfectly cerulean skies, and the waves were crazy high. I speculate that the windsurfers and sail surfers must have been crazy high too, to be out in that.
I was going to see a show in the evening, so I came back home, took a power nap, and then ran over to see a play. Well, to see most of it. It was NOT A Good Play. I left halfway through the second half, and hope that the person I knew who was in the play didn't know I was there. She is, as always, great, but I simply could not stand 2 of the performers, and the writing was...Not Good.
I got into an altercation with a MUNI Bus driver, and for those who know, of course it was justified. Long story short, I staged a one-woman protest. I kind of snapped. But I think I made my point.
Or, I am just really going crazy at last....
Yesterday was super busy...Brunch with Julie, Keith and a friend of his from out of town, who is very cool. Then we watched simply the CRAZIEST thing I have ever seen, Silf and Ollie, some hew show on MTV. I can't explain what it is, except to say it is an all-sock-puppet mind fuck of gargantuan proportions. If you can find it online, I suggest having Valium nearby, because it will work its way into your brainicles.
Seriously.
THEN, I went back home, and got ready to go to a farewell soiree for some friends who are leaving San Francisco. It was at a bar in the Tenderloin, and the scene was quite zesty. Between the drag queens, the trannies, and the Librarians, it was an amazing turnout for some amazing people, who I will miss. But hey, now I have friends in New Mexico 
After THAT I was SUPPOSED to have a Big Fancy Dinner with a friend who owes me a bazillion favors, but he was running late and by the time he arrived, it was late for dinner. So, we decided to grab a drink and a snack at Ramblas, a Tapas place in the Mission.
This went from being a casual glass of wine and a couple of small plates to a progressive jackpot dinner party. We were sitting by the big plate glass windows in the front when I hear someone whispering "Moooolleeeenaaaaa" and see a co-worker sticking his head into the window. He was with a friend who was quite intoxicated, but he promised to swing back by after bringing the friend home.
Oh, and Bryce was kind enough to advise his friend that if he was serious about needing a spanking, I was a good person to know.
Yep.
So, he came back, and bought his girlfriend along. Now there are four of us, and as were ordering a couple more Tapas, Bryce's girlfriend's roommate walks by. So, now there are five of us, a big pitcher of sangria, piles of Tapas, and a lively conversation about anal sex.
The party continued next door at the Casanova Lounge, where some more friends of the group were hanging out. Too bad that Bryces girlfriend's roommate is about to be married...he was cute. And twisted. And thought I was hot 
On another side note: Thanks again Julie for taking care of my little ALT issue remotely.... thank the goddess my friends are not easily fazed.
I think there must have been cream or milk in something I ate last night, or otherwise I had a touch of the food poisoning, because I was an UNHAPPY camper this morning. NOT pretty. I called in sick; because there was no way I was gonna risk leaving the house, frankly.
Things in the tummy front have settled down...I took a walk with my friend Cindy and the teensy Chihuahua she's dog sitting.
It is hot today...but that is allright. The sun is shining. And I have this event to go to tonight
some theater fundraising / benefit thing. Ugh. I dont wanna have to be charming and sociable and all that crap!
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5
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This is the strange day....
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Jun 11, 2005 2:25 pm
1932 Views
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....between the interesting conversation with the Indian hottiegirl at the bus stop and the Old Egyptian Man on the bus who followed me OFF of the BUS seeming to be offering me "An Arrangement", this is a Strange Day...
I am off for DimSum with krisleathers, which should be more grounding....
{=}
Mo
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2
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Injera.....for betty67....
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Jun 11, 2005 1:22 pm
1956 Views
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What You Need:
3/4 cup teff, ground fine (the teff may be ground either in a flour mill or in a blender after moistening in 3 1/2 cups water).
salt
sunflower or other vegetable oil
What You Do:
Mix ground teff with 3 1/2 cups water and let stand in a bowl covered with a dish towel at room temperature until it bubbles and has turned sour. This may take as long as 3 days. The fermenting mixture should be the consistency of pancake batter.
Stir in the salt, a little at a time, until you can barely detect its taste.
Lightly oil an 8 or 9 inch skillet (or a larger one if you like).
Heat over medium heat.
Pour in enough batter to cover the bottom of the skillet. About 1/4 cup will make a thin pancake covering the surface of an 8 inch skillet if you spread the batter around immediately by turning and rotating the skillet in the air. This is the classic French method for very thin crepes.
Injera is not supposed to be paper thin so you should use a bit more batter than you would for crepes, but less than you would for a flapjack pancakes.
Cook briefly, until holes form in the injera and the edges lift from the pan. Do not let it brown.
Remove and let cool.
If you have a hard time finding teff where you are, I would be happy to procure it and ship it to you, betty67!!
{=}
Love
~Mo
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4
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How many of YOU can say....
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Jun 11, 2005 1:04 pm
1833 Views
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.....that there is a beautiful mare in Oz trotting friskily about, loved and cared for by the magnificent, stunning and bad-ass xLilithx named after you?!?!
Everyone....gaze in wonder upon DarkGoddess!!!
I am so in shock right now...wow.
love
~Mollena
PS....and karma sprinklies to UTMaster4U and foulmama for their nominations....I am all pinky brown with blushing  !!
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2
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Talk about LAME...!
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Jun 10, 2005 12:14 pm
2181 Views
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OK, I am about to die over here...
I just got a Booty Call Request.
Now, this was from not just ANY booty call person, but from THE (IN)FAMOUS LAME ASS BOOTY CALL GUY.
If you don't know about who I am speaking, you can go to Craig's List and look on the "Best of" From May 6th, 2004...or my blog on April 16, 2005.
OK, I have managed to find my jaw after picking it up off of the floor.
How on earth do you call someone a YEAR AFTER a one-off hook-up trying to hit that ass again? ESPECIALLY in light of ... well....
*shaking head in wonderment*
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10
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To link to this blog (Mollena) use [blog Mollena] in your messages.
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