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Fantasy as idiosyncrasy
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Oct 19, 2009 8:53 am
682 Views
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I am often asked to describe my favorite fantasy. And as you might suspect , it is never the same. More I speak , more creative I get in describing what I dream of and wilder the dreams become.
I don't dare to describe them to just anybody. Some are illegal, some are immoral, some can be absolutely labeled as deviant .
They all live and evolve in my brain, i suppose that some will never become reality, some have been or will be surpassed by it. They all produce amazing orgasms .
Am i defined by my fantasies ? Should I have them psychoanalyzed?
Should i make them real one by one or keep them there to breed into more creative thoughts?
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Stay true to yourself
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Oct 18, 2009 12:09 pm
608 Views
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I have learned something very important today.
How good you feel when you are not afraid to be yourself. How does this show in your glow!
When you stop being a slave to other people rules and society standards
When you use your brain to challenge some of those rules.
When you stop buying an expensive kitchen or an expensive car just to impress others.
When you have the courage to admit that the one you once loved and married is really envying all your successes.
When you are tired of dreaming dreams that are not yours.
i have two friends...
One told me that she was in a busy gathering, defining her career path for the next years in front of all the others, when she realized that it was not her voice there. These were not her dreams. She is caught in them , forced to dream them , because she can have a bigger bonus and a more expensive car and a different status is she makes it to the top. But it was not her. She saw it clearly.
The other one stated that she would never ever agree to take a job that she really likes if it would pay less. That would decrease her standard of living and ..she is doing so great now , she can't take the risk.
I have learned something from both of them. Something about me that will take some time to seed deep in me.
I am sure you realized this entry has nothing to do with BDSM. Is just me talking to myself, learning to know me and answering my millionplusone questions.
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Do we need a map?
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Oct 17, 2009 2:37 pm
693 Views
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To navigate in this complex inner world of ours?
What are our real strength and weaknesses , can we really say without any doubt? i sometimes think that each weakness or shortcoming i spot in me is related to a strength, like two sides of a coin.
I recognize many negative tendencies i have as I fight to get rid of them day after day... Where do they come from? are they inherited?
I navigate day after day in my inner world.I know where i have to go but i don't know the way.
I need to open up these vast spaces within the mind so i can see better.
WIll pain and submission be my true nature? Will my Master be owning my mind or just my body?
WIll he help me reach the state which i want to reach or crash me?
I quote an amazing Sir who said " You want to find someone someday who will collar you, mark you with a hot iron, own all of you".
That sounds incredibly hot to me.
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My fear
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Oct 16, 2009 1:48 am
775 Views
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To answer your questions
I am...
...afraid to break my heart, it hurted so badly last time that my body still has the memory of the fall ,vulnerable , helpless
...afraid to follow my basic instincts, what could this lead to?
...afraid that I focus too much on myself , could be a bad thing
Fear , basic survival mechanism.
Day after day I try to let go of my fears, but fear is good. It occurred to me when i explained my kid the other day that if you are not afraid of the passing vehicles you will never be able to cross a busy road.
Fear for me, here , in the BDSM space is like Ariadne's thread.
What i am not afraid of
To be a strong Sub
To be myself and set my own way
To believe I am a Superior Woman
To challenge the impossible
...to fall for the one who makes me and keeps me a sub
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3
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A keen sense of humor
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Oct 15, 2009 11:13 am
1019 Views
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From what i have seen until now , people take life way too seriously.
Wonderful mental tonic, to laugh when laughing is called for, to overcome frustrations with a joke.
BDSM is also supposed to be fun but i saw many cases when people are so absorbed to do things in a certain manner that cease to observe really funny situation.
Relax out there and don't stop being human.
Or are we all supposed to be very serious in this case?
Tell me...
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I dare to do it my way
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Oct 14, 2009 4:20 am
861 Views
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i had doubts if i am a real submissive or not. I even thought i might be a Domina,
but i am not.
I love surrender, but only the surrender to The Master.
The one that kisses my wounds and my tears after whipping me, The one that is not afraid to be weak with me, the one that lets me be who I am, drive, laugh, run , swear, kick asses, be a bitch, but also the one that lets me be woman, weak, feminine, sensual, fragile, dependent, sweet.
The one who lets me free to do it my way.
But The One who owns me and exercises his immense power without me even noticing it.
The one that gets into my brain and makes it more powerful.
The one that opens my chest and grabs my heart with a smile.
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Trusting, surrendering
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Oct 13, 2009 5:15 am
855 Views
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i trust too soon
i don't listen to my instinct
i see only the good things in people
i get hurt too easily
i need to change that
Evolve
Learn
Listen
Wait.
Look inside before i open up to anybody.
Know what I need, what i lust for.
I lust for the one that feeds himself with my surrender.
More i trust him, more powerful he emerges.
More i learn, more sunshine comes through the clouds.
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To link to this blog (RhythmOfRain) use [blog RhythmOfRain] in your messages.
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