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DUMB and DUMBER -- or -- your grammar's looking pretty decrepit
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May 30, 2009 7:28 am
4058 Views
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On May 6, 2009 CE phanTazma posted an essay titled,
"and some people wonder why they can't get laid from a networking site".
I wrote a reply that rambled on and on, and now I've decided to copy the whole thing over to my blog. I seem to find it easier to write responses to others than to sit here and think up something for my own blog, so why not make my scribblings work for me too? Anyhow, here is her blog posting, followed by my reply:
***** *** ***** *** *****
I'm sitting here trying to figure something out.
I know I'm not the best writer out there, nor will I ever be. I do try to take care in how I express myself. After all, many times what we write is the only thing people have in which to draw an opinion. I try to proofread what I write, looking for glaring errors. If it is something academic or professionally related, I make sure to have at least another person go through it. I'm overly cautious about proofreading since I have trouble with dyslexia. Often, I won't see the little mistakes since I'm so focused on the pertinent information.
Anyhow. A few days ago, I got into a debate with a bunch of self proclaimed word and grammar snobs. I got bent out of shape over the majority of them poking fun at people for their writing style and execution. Kind of an extension of that old schoolroom behavior where the class laughs at the kid struggling to figure out some problem on the blackboard. Only the kid doesn't know they are laughing at him because he doesn't know its happening. In other words, non-consensual humiliation.
Then today, I find myself sitting in judgment of a few pieces of mail I've gotten lately. Now, to me, its one thing to form an opinion based on initial communications or correspondence. Its an entirely different issue to ridicule someone for their personal creative efforts. I began writing as a tool to improve my writing skills and discovered that I really enjoyed it.
Yet, I keep looking at these few pieces of mail (and no, not all of it came from ALT members) and think to myself:
~Honestly, are there really that many adults that do not realize just how poorly they communicate by writing?
~How can so many well educated people not bother to utilize a period and new paragraph?
~How presumptuous is it to reply back with minimal corrective editing?
~If one needs to reply, are you then obligated to use the same horrific format they employed?
~ALT mail specific-Since this is a networking site, and first impressions are critical, would it not make sense to write to impress, rather than hump every leg out there hoping one doesn't kick you away?
Now, I'm not talking about little punctuation errors and misspellings that slip by. I'm talking about that 40 line mailer that is one uninterrupted sentence. I'm talking about something typed entirely in capital letters or full texting abbreviations.
I'm not a full fledged word and grammar snob, but jeeze. When I look at a profile saying the person is a professional with a Master's Degree or better and all they write is gobble-dee-gook the last thing I want to do is reply to them.
My Reply:
There are multiple issues described in this blog post, and I tend to be kinda long-winded, so hit the bathroom, grab a snack, and settle in. Here we go:
The first issue is WHY people are writing at all, and a number of scenarios have been described. A casual note to a friend, or a blog to your buddies, can be excused if it includes abbreviations and even a bunch of errors; it's not a big deal. Writing as part of normal business procedure should utilize language that is, at the very least, clear and straightforward. After all, directions on loading a van with frozen seafood don't have to be Shakespearean in grandeur, but they should be easy to understand. An office that deals with blizzards of paperwork every day should have somewhat higher standards, because spelling and grammar not only make an impression, but also are vital for accurate understanding and efficient, appropriate action. Ascending levels of communication peak with areas such as law, medicine, and international diplomacy, where life and death can literally hinge on painstakingly flawless language. This all seems very common sense to me, but alas, reality is unfortunately different.
Most people don't actually have to write very well. Most jobs, even white-collar careers, depend largely on technical specs, industry jargon, and available templates (form letters, boilerplate fine print, etc.) Lawyers, engineers, and physicians need to have a certain level of literary competence, but they seldom need to actually write well. And even if they aren't all that competent, they can rely on secretaries and assistants to dress up the spelling and punctuation. Those secretaries and assistants had to achieve decent language skills to get their jobs, but their modest paychecks reflect society's attitude that knowing the finer points of language is a boring and fairly pointless ability needed only by low-grade "pink collar workers" and their ilk. How much respect is accorded to the school Spelling Bee winner, compared to a football team captain? Anyone who insists on a higher standard is resented as an unreasonable snob; indeed, as 'Lowcountry' indicated, the very articulation of higher expectations brands you as one of the "Grammar Police".
Remember -- by definition, the average IQ is 100, and I wouldn't hire someone with an IQ of 100 to drink beer and piss it out again. The lowest common denominator is pretty low indeed, and we live in a society that increasingly disparages and/or ignores the importance of intellectual striving in the average person. In my grandfather's day, ordinary high school students were required to learn a fair amount of Latin and even some Greek. In a mere three generations, we have deteriorated into a society in which college graduates barely have to even know English at a level that would have been regarded as fifth-grade a century ago. We are now a society of "thru" and "donuts" and "bucketfuls". Spellcheck, just now, didn't even put the little red underline under "donuts". Increasingly, corruption is the new acceptable norm. This isn't just change; it is decline; and as such, I find it sad and alarming. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi
To summarize: Aside from very specific specialties of a very few professions --with which 99pc of the population has virtually no contact -- the vast majority of people has rudimentary language skills, gets along okay, and is reassured that this is not only adequate, but perfectly fine. Thus general abilities slide ever lower, and you now have to deal with large numbers of people who not only are unable to upgrade their language when they shift from a blog to a letter of business or introduction; they are unable to grasp why in the world they should even have to.
So, to answer your questions - - -
~Honestly, are there really that many adults that do not realize just how poorly they communicate by writing?
Yes. Yes, there are, and with general acceptance of it, their numbers are growing.
~How can so many well educated people not bother to utilize a period and new paragraph?
They either don't know or don't care. Take your pick -- ignorant or lazy.
~How presumptuous is it to reply back with minimal corrective editing?
I seldom bother any more. If you actually know a person to be interested in improving their writing and desirous of such feedback, that's great. Otherwise, why waste your time trying to teach a pig to sing?
~If one needs to reply, are you then obligated to use the same horrific format they employed?
The one part of your blog that surprises me is questioning whether you should dumb down to a level of ignorance and/or incompetence. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow would have so eloquently postulated: fuck, no. I strive to learn from those with greater ability, not to be influenced by those with less, and so should you. Never be ashamed of knowledge.
~ALT mail specific-Since this is a networking site, and first impressions are critical, would it not make sense to write to impress, rather than hump every leg out there hoping one doesn't kick you away?
It depends on what you want. Around the age of 13, girls find out pretty quickly that most guys aren't interested in the contents of the brainpan; they just want the humping. If you're looking for a fellow who thinks the sexiest part of a woman is the three pounds of gray jelly inside her cranium, there are few quicker ways to weed out the dimwits, plodders, and leghumpers than to size up what they write about and how they write it. For a woman in your position, this is actually a pretty good sluicing technique. Don't anguish over the failings of the many; use the circumstances to your benefit and watch for the glimmer of gold amongst the sand.
Last But Not Least -- two final but very important addenda.
1. Many schoolteachers are currently burdened with large classes, insufficient resources, and a complex mix of responsibilites for students, including but not limited to: physical health issues, mental and emotional health issues, learning disorders, English as a child's second language, and oceans of paperwork required by Federal, State, and municipal governments as well as the school system itself. A friend of mine is a teacher, and her contract places NO limit whatsoever on the hours she is required to work. She can be told to work 90 hours a week, or lose her job. She is also required to give effective, INDIVIDUALIZED instruction to a class of two dozen students, many of whom have behavioral (and other) problems. I could go on, but suffice to say that teachers are burdened with impossible tasks and many of the students are passed from grade to grade without learning very much.
2. A dear friend of mine is dyslexic and was not given any assistance or understanding during her school years. Her grammar is not perfect, her spelling is often wrong, and she uses lots of texting-style abbreviations. I don't give a shit about any of that, because I know that she is a very smart and talented woman, and I feel privileged to be her friend. Always stay alert to the possibility that a person might have a bright mind that could be obscured by a less than perfect delivery system.
Hey, was this long enough or what?
Good thing you didn't get me started on the Federal Reserve Bank --
the rotten bastards.... lol
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Apple iPhone and Shaken Baby "humor"
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Apr 23, 2009 9:34 am
3953 Views
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Just when you think pop culture "humor" can't get any more tasteless or offensive--
who is the genius at Apple that gave a green light to marketing this gem?
Apple withdraws 'horrific' Baby Shaker iPhone application
Apple has withdrawn a game that
encourages people to shake a baby to death
from its iPhone application store.
23 Apr 2009
The San Franciso-based firm pulled the Baby Shaker application after parenting organisations branded the game horrific.
The game shows a cartoon of a crying baby which becomes less animated as players shake their phone until red crosses appear over the baby's eyes indicating it is dead.
Jetta Bernier, executive director of Massachusetts Citizens for Children, said: "I am disheartened that with this new application Apple is encouraging frustrated adults to shake infants, not only to end their crying, but to end their lives.
"There are many effective infant soothing strategies that adults can use to calm their fussy, crying babies. Shaking is not one of them."
Text displayed next to the application in the iTunes store reads: "On a plane, on the bus, in a theatre. Babies are everywhere you don't want them to be! They're always distracting you from preparing for that big presentation at work with their incessant crying. Before Baby Shaker there was nothing you could do about it."
It adds the disclaimer: "Never, never shake a baby."
The application created by Sikilasoft, first went on sale on Monday.
Patrick Donohue, the founder of the Sarah Jane Brain Foundation, which is campaigning to raise awareness of the dangers of shaking babies, has written to Apple chief executive Steve Jobs.
"As the father of a three-year-old who was shaken by her baby nurse when she was only five days old, breaking three ribs, both collarbones and causing a severe brain injury, words cannot describe my reaction," he wrote.
Marilyn Bar, founder of the US Centre for Shaken Baby Syndrome, said: "Not only are they making fun of shaken baby syndrome, but they are actually encouraging it. This is absolutely terrible."
Apple has recently relaxed its rules on applications in the App Store. Bans on applications which made noises simulating breaking wind and allowed users to jiggle womens breasts have been lifted.
Apple and Sikilasoft have yet to respond to requests to comment.
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Unforgiven -- Part Three
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Apr 20, 2009 7:36 am
3949 Views
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This is the third installment of the story that relates the break
between my (former) best friend and myself.
Part I was posted on June 27, 2006.
Part II was posted on July 10, 2006.
Please click back through the pages and read Part I and Part II.
Names, locations, and other identifiers have been changed to protect the guilty.
The following statement was typed up by myself to record in detail the events that took place.
Part IV of this story will reveal what I did
with this document and the results that followed.
On the night of Saturday, May 15, 2004 I drove to Bedford to visit a longtime friend, Bill Hendricks. Bill and I have been good friends for upwards of thirty years, and I know all the members of his immediate family. Bill's mother recently visited from her home in Belgium and returned there about ten days ago. Bill's only sibling, a sister, died in 1992. Bill's father, Larry Hendricks (ADDRESS) lives about one mile away from Bill's place on Warwick Street.
I had called Bill around 8:00 from my house, and he told me that another friend, Sal Matthews, was visiting, and that Larry was also present. Bill advised me to delay my arrival for a couple hours. My inference was that he figured that his dad would have gone home by then. For reasons that are not quite clear to anyone else, Larry Hendricks has always harbored a dislike of myself, and for years has slandered and maligned me behind my back. Accordingly, I drove into the yard at Bill's house around quarter after ten.
Nobody had left. I walked into the house to find the three of them in the kitchen, standing and talking. I got myself a can of Coca-Cola from the fridge and joined the group, saying hello to everyone. After a couple minutes, Larry asked me how I was. "Older," I replied, having recently had a birthday. He asked what I was doing for work, and I told him. I then chatted with the other guys for a few minutes.
Suddenly, Larry said, "How about if I beat you up". He then walked around Bill and stood in front of me, reached out, and gripped me around the neck with one hand. I was surprised but not alarmed, for I figured that he must certainly be kidding around. However, he stood there staring at me coldly, not smiling or changing expression, and it was apparent that he was dead serious. At this point he was squeezing my neck tightly, beginning to choke me. Bill grabbed his other arm so that he couldn't hit me, and wrestled Larry away from me. He hustled his dad toward the door while Larry cursed and muttered epithets. Bill got Larry's car keys and turned the car around, preparing to drive his father home. While he was doing this, Larry re-entered the house and said a few words of goodbye to Sal. Then he turned and stared at me. I gave him a small nod of farewell, not wanting to exacerbate an awkward situation. As I did this, Larry was raising his hand; he curled three fingers into his palm, extended his index finger, and poised his thumb up in the classic 'pistol' gesture. Pointing the finger directly at me and staring me in the face, he dropped the thumb down to indicate firing the pistol. Without a word, he turned and walked out the door.
I was dumbfounded. I looked at Sal and said, "Did you see that?" Sal nodded. "That was a death threat," I said. "Looked like it," Sal replied. I suggested a game of cribbage while we waited for Bill to return. After a while, he did; he had driven his dad home and walked back to his own house. He was distressed about his father's behavior, and apologized repeatedly. He said that his dad had been drinking heavily; so much so that he couldn't stay on his feet once he left the house, and had fallen down outside. Bill also reported that Larry had wanted to drive home himself, had ranted and raved and shouted, and was irrational and venomous. Bill told me that his dad's dislike of me had turned to complete hatred, which astonished me. To my knowledge, I have never been anything but civil to Larry. Apparently, it doesn't matter. Larry Hendricks does not seem to operate logically. Bill has told me that although Larry has supposedly "cut down" in recent years, he is a lifelong alcoholic who for decades consumed anywhere from a fifth to a half-gallon of hard liquor per day. And by all accounts, the more he drinks, the more rancorous, bitter, hateful, belligerent, and unreasonable he becomes.
In light of the alcoholism, the irrational hatred, the assault and pistol gesture, and the fact that Larry Hendricks owns firearms, it would be unwise to ignore this incident. It is noteworthy that his actions have escalated from slander to physical assault. I am filing this report because Larry Hendricks is demonstrating sudden and unreasoned physical violence, and I have concerns about further escalation of such behavior.
*End of Part Three *
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Time Lapse
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Aug 1, 2008 7:32 am
3967 Views
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Wow, it's been six weeks since I posted anything here?
I'm leaving for the weekend, but will try to get something up here when I get back on Tuesday. What the heck, it's not like anyone reads the darn thing anymore...
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Bees and Food
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Jun 18, 2008 1:56 pm
3761 Views
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NHPTV (channel 11 for most of us) will have a documentary Thursday night at 8:00 pm called 'Silence of the Bees' about Colony Collapse Disorder, which threatens to affect one third of all the foods you see in your grocery store.
Although I will never stop doing my part to help the general environment, I think 6.5 billion humans on this planet have pushed things past the tipping point, and one hell of a lot of creatures are just doomed. Compare the breathtaking rate of rain forest depletion, polar ice melting, etc. with the ever-increasing population of resource-hungry humans... Nature doesn't stand a chance. Three percent of us switching to hybrid cars and ineffective jawboning about carbon credits isn't going to halt catastrophe, just slow it a little bit.
However! If YOU personally are charmed by the idea of being one of the survivors, it's nice to stay informed of the hazards. So, watch this program. And stock up on food. If you've done this already, stock up on more food.
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Seconds, anyone?
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Jun 18, 2008 1:51 pm
3791 Views
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The flooding in the midwest has already destroyed 5 million acres of crops so far, and it's not over yet. The USA exports a staggering 54 percent of the corn, 36 percent of the soybeans and 23 percent of the wheat for the entire world. Prices have risen sharply on the agricultural commodities markets today, with further increases expected. Mexico imposed a six-month freeze on prices of more than 150 food products today, which only delays the inevitable.
I've been beating this drum for a long time now: stock up on food. Rice, beans, canned goods, sugar, coffee, salt, powdered milk, etc. Everything. The Mormons require all church members to stock a one-year supply of food in their homes for each family member. To many people this seems extreme; to me it sounds like shrewd preparation.
This country is now experiencing massive increases in the costs of fuels and food -- costs that once seemed unthinkable to many. Currently it is likewise unthinkable that key necessities might become so expensive that they are, for all intents and purposes, unavailable to the average citizen. Fruits and vegetables becoming luxuries for the rich? --you're kidding! That just happens in those third-world countries, right?
It's later than you think...
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Big Moon
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Jun 18, 2008 12:48 pm
4020 Views
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Huge Moon Illusion
Wednesday -- June 18
"As the full moon rises this Wednesday evening, June 18, many people will be tricked into thinking it's unusually large.
"The moon illusion, as it's known, is a trick in our minds that makes the moon seem bigger when it's near the horizon. The effect is most pronounced at full moon.
"The illusion will be particularly noticeable at this "solstice moon," coming just two days before summer starts in the Northern Hemisphere." source: SPACE *com
Moonrise is at 8:58 pm EST tonight.
The Summer Solstice arrives at 7:59 pm EST Friday, June 20.
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Two for breakfast
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Jun 6, 2008 11:15 pm
4065 Views
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After casually leaning up against the sink while swapping some batteries out of the recharger and into some of my gadgets, I went to the fridge and got out some juice, turned back towards the sink, and froze.
Resting quietly against the cabinet door beneath the sink was a big --and I mean BIG-- guest who was obviously hoping that something tasty would come HIS way for breakfast, too. It's a wonder he didn't select me for the honor; my leg had to be all but touching him just moments before, and he looked big enough to take me.
I quickly snapped a couple pictures; just to give you an idea of how large my new acquaintance was, the flash resulted in "red-eye" like you see in dog photos. I've been asked "how many eyes did that?" and let me tell you, I didn't feel like getting close enough to count.
Now -- how to deal with him? I didn't want to leave the room; it would have given me nightmares to come back in a minute and find him gone, then have to wonder where and when he might suddenly turn up. I managed to rustle up an empty coffee can and cover him, then slide a letter underneath and trap him in the can. As I walked outdoors, I could hear hefty 'plunk' noises as he tried to climb the can and would fall back to the bottom; I only hoped that he didn't chew his way through the metal. I took him into the woods and set the can on a stump; as soon as I uncovered the can, he shot out of there as if he would've been charged an extra day for lingering. I jumped a foot; I dunno who was more nervous, him or me. He hid in a crevasse in the stump; I grabbed my coffee can and headed back inside.
I'm going to start shaking out my shoes before I put them on....
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If you put vegetable oil on the tip, there's an extra quarter in it for you.....
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Jun 5, 2008 2:36 pm
3772 Views
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I love flashlights. I especially like LED flashlights, which used to be expensive but are now very affordable; and I like to use rechargeable NiMH batteries which are phenomenally economical. I always seem to be crawling around in a dark attic or basement or trying to find something that I dropped under the car seat, and I virtually never go a day without using my little pocket flashlight a number of times.
So a couple weeks ago, I pull out the flashlight and click it on. Nothing. Are the batteries dead? --already? I puzzled over the flashlight for a moment and finally realized the problem: a quarter was the exact perfect size to get wedged inside the rim of the flashlight and block any light.
How to get the darn thing out? The fit was perfect -- as though it had been machined for the quarter to fit. No way to get even the thinnest blade or tiniest point in for leverage. Maybe I could push in one side of the quarter and lever up the opposite side... all that happened was that the opposite side stayed put, and the pushed side got wedged even deeper. Great.
I wasn't about to admit defeat. I was infuriated by the simplicity combined with intractability of the problem, and felt a powerful urge to just smash the goddam thing; yet knew there had to be a way. So I set it on the kitchen counter, where I would see it every day, and left it there so that I could muse over it. In the meantime, I put my other, identical flashlight in my pocket (always have a backup) and kept the puzzle on the back burner of my cranium.
It was stuck TIGHT; that much was certain. Getting it loose seemed to be the first job. I didn't want to use petrochemicals (such as WD-40) that might react and cloud the plastic lens permanently, so I removed the end cap and batteries, stood the flashlight on end, and poured a generous dose of cooking oil over the quarter.
It didn't look like any of the oil was seeping down, so I set the flashlight on top of the toaster-oven, where it would absorb some heat (but not enough to fry the LEDs) and perhaps thin the oil enough to work down past the quarter's edge. The flashlight stayed there for a couple weeks.
Finally last night I decided to see if I could knock out the quarter. I had been considering the differences between the quarter and the metal rim holding it; often the solution to problems can be found by exploiting differences. The quarter was a relatively massive metal slug, and the flashlight walls were thin rolled aluminum. Since they are thinner, they will heat faster. Heat expands metal. Therein lay the answer. I laid the flashlight on the lid of the crockpot that was simmering chili, and left it there about 6.5 minutes; enough so that the thin rim would expand a teenie bit, but not long enough for the quarter to soak up sufficient heat to match it.
I removed the flashlight and tapped it a single gentle tap on the kitchen counter, to try to loosen it a bit through vibration before I really started hammering.
The quarter fell out immediately.
I'm telling you, I felt like Isaac Newton or something....
a genuine genius... LOL
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Garden update
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Jun 3, 2008 8:16 am
3785 Views
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Mixed results on germination... I thought I planted about a dozen broccoli seeds but around 50 plants have come up! I'm going to thin em out and transplant some of them pronto. Only one melon plant germinated; all of the cucumbers came up; none of the cherry tomatoes did; all of the sugar snap peas have shown.
I've waited to start the pole beans, and will get those going this week. Also will have to get more tomato seeds and try again. Just put in bell peppers yesterday. I can't believe the price of bell peppers at the grocery. Two dollars for one ordinary green pepper! Yikes!
The word in the financial world is that food prices will level off somewhat this summer and take another big surge in the autumn/winter. Not everyone has a place outdoors to grow, but even if you're in a third floor apartment, as long as you have a sunny window, set up a row of plantpots and start a little vegetable garden right there indoors. It's soooo satisfying to watch your own food grow!
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To link to this blog (Six-five) use [blog Six-five] in your messages.
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