The Reason Why...
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Feb 24, 2011 11:23 am
1026 Views
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It has been quite the "Never a boring moment with Billie" since I let the woman in me completely loose... 
And now that I have come out of the clouds, so to speak, and the newness of it all is gone for a while, at least until my SRS surgery, as then there will be another newness to it all... I had this clarifying thought last night, as I have tried for so long to come up with the actual reason why I, after becoming a full-time pre-op Male-To-Female TransSexual, identified as a Shemale. And as I started thinking about it again last night, I again, when it is people concerned, came to my reoccurring conclusion that it was an individual or personal choice to express "who I was", not "what I was". That choice was also heavily influenced by the fact that I felt that transsexual or transgender was not specific enough an expression of my person. I felt that the word trannie was demeaning as from my perspective and european education on the word it has been a demeaning way to refer to a transvestite for a very long time. And even though I was born a female in a male body, have been taking hormones for years it seems, have a beautiful shaped female body, my DL and Passport says Female, and I am considering to have SRS performed as soon as I can completely stop smoking, I still realize today with sadness in my heart that I could never honestly say that I was a complete woman and that I would never birth a baby.
So I made then and still make the choice to identify with the word Shemale and it became some sort of a word of empowerment to me at the same time.
Not All blacks can dance, Not All Chinese are good mathematicians, Not All Jews are good business men, Not All Scots are stingy and Not All Shemales are male hookers with breasts and a penis on viagra.
In closing I wish to mention that I have had many debates on the subject with many transgendered and many have tried to make me think different, somehow, so please, enjoy the reading of my writing for what it is, an individual and personal thought, not an invitation to a political or religious discussion, debate or pissing contest.
I teach and practice tolerance, to each his own so to speak, and I love and respect and accept people for who they are not for what they are.
If I may ask, please extend me that same respect.
And since I am concerned about the harmonius energy in my environment, I have with respect for my community, removed every single reference to the word shemale from my new site at tsbillie.
Feel free to visit. Oh yeah, it ends in dot com.
Love,
Billie
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It has been a while....
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Jan 20, 2011 4:47 am
1126 Views
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It's been a while since I actually posted something, communicated with someone here online on ALT, it has been a while since I have actually played online... it has been a wild ride the last 15 months, falling head over heels in love with Michelle, moving to Hollywood, some obvious physical enhancements that required quite a bit of attention, care and downtime, establishing myself in my new environment, and just latley Michelle and I finally moved in together in our apartment in Hollywood... Where just a couple of weeks ago, or was it a week ago?, we had a murder on the third floor, and the whole building got evacuated as the guy who had just shot his girlfriend had barricaded himself in, so Michelle and I ended up out on the street, Wilcox, around 4 am, and could not get back into our apartment until 10:30 / 11 am. Never a dull moment.. lol... Oh yeah, a couple of months ago my car was stolen, that was a trauma, but... Bisous was back three or 4 days later, unharmed, found on the side of the freeway in Lancaster, with an empty gas tank.
I have had a lot of fun the last year, meeting a lot of new and fascinating people, discovering, maturing as a woman, did I say maturing?... I still feel so young... I am having a lot of fun dancing a lot at the Oxwood, lol, the Syren parties, my parties, living in Hollywood, going out in West Hollywood, having great sexual adventures, sex, sex, sex everywhere... And of course there's also some business to be done, haha, and the business is growing nicely, not too much drama, a lot of fun, and, but, or, whenever.... keeping busy being my usual true to myself me, avoiding the shoulda, woulda, coulda, as always and staying creative.
I believe that Michelle and I have grown nicely together, the usual little hick-ups of course, but steadily growing as a couple, respecting each other, understanding each other, accepting each other. I do have to say this, I have never driven so many times back and forth between L.A. and/or Napa, and Portland, Oregon... lol.... come rain, sunshine or snow...
I am getting sleepy, finally, it is, around 4:30 am and I am signing off.
Happy New Year and Love always,
Billie
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I am a Courtisane...
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Feb 16, 2009 1:13 am
2910 Views
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If I may summarize... what a contemporary Courtisane is...
About Courtisanes... A true courtisane is someone who is more beautiful inside than she is outside, regardless of how beautiful she might be. She is often unaware of the extent of her outer beauty, and is more concerned with bringing kindness, pleasure and happiness into people's lives, not living off an ego, or putting others down to make herself look better.
She is confident in herself, brings inspiration, serenity and integrity, not corruption, bitterness and slander. She also chooses to be a pleasure provider and sexual healer, she is not someone who 'has' to do things she does not enjoy, in order to pay her bills/ support her family/ habit, make ends meet. She provides a higher quality experience ...
She invests extensively in her art; from her presentation and beauty, to her classes in deportment and etiquette, wine food and art appreciation, in addition to her excellent schooling. She invests in music knowledge and dance abilities; she will usually speak several languages, play at least one instrument, and have the ability to put on such erotic entertainment shows as you might expect from a professional.
She is dynamic and unforgettable. She considers herself an entertainer, whether desire enters her service or not. This is a confident, prudent and sensual woman who understands she has a lot to give, and derives immense pleasure from giving, an inherently sexual being. She is uniquely pleased knowing she has made a positive difference in her client's life. The fee she is paid is simply the cherry on top; she is less concerned with the money so much as the mutual joy and quality of pleasure that can be achieved.
She is someone who is extremely vigilant in her care of herself. She understands her body is the housing for her beautiful soul, and deserves the very best treatment. This is someone with a healthy mind, who consciously eats well, exercises regularly, and makes intelligent, prudent choices about whom she allows to socialize with her and what she subjects her body/ skin/ mind to. She strives to make her appearance match the beauty within, rather than the other way around...
An immaculate, natural, beautiful image is her aim.
A courtisane is a woman of integrity, intelligence and honesty. She is a true businesswoman, and understands the way her business works. She is a woman of responsibility, and likes to do the 'right thing' where possible, preferring to be thought of in the best possible light by all who know her.
She does not see bringing pleasure to a person in need of affection as 'wrong'. She has nothing to hide, and whilst she prizes discretion highly, she does not like to associate with those she feels she must keep things from. She is a 'stand-up' individual in lay terms, who would never demean herself or her reputation by allowing herself to become greedy.
A courtisane understands her reputation and image depends upon her behavior at all times. She is aware of the fact that how she lives is reflected in her overall look, presentation, attitude and demeanor, and she is someone who lives well and behaves appropriately continually to all.
She is a genuinely quality woman of high standards in all aspects, at all times. A woman like this has too much class to ever make anyone feel uncomfortable. She will be gracious, and comfortable to converse politely with everyone from Diplomats & celebrities to her local store owner & personal maid. She would never do anything to embarrass or hurt another individual for selfish, proud or greedy reasons. She is in fact usually more concerned for others' comforts than her own, thus entirely unselfish, whilst maintaining her own healthy, humble level of self respect and esteem.
Since the true Courtisane is more sexually and professionally talented, of higher quality overall and her genuine affections and company in demand, her fee will of course be higher, but it is a token, a joke between the two, simply to extract the genuinely successful, deserving people from the crowds who want her. Her gentleperson pays a fee to gain her favor, a gift of good faith toward the ability to please her.
Generally the person whom has achieved such financial success are those who have the charm and sophistication to match her own, and the knowledge of women to properly appreciate and thoroughly enjoy all the different entertainments of this chosen female, not embarrass or insult her with the pouncing of an inexperienced youth, ignoring her exquisite attire, her intoxicating scent, and the efforts she has gone to, to seduce. The person will be a gentle and courteous at all times, as they both respect the mutual unspoken laws of tasteful togetherness.
There is a special connection, and emotional touch that occurs between the courtisane and her chosen client. They rarely spend small amounts of time together when they connect; they enhance each others' lives, and when they are together it is almost like Romeo and Juliet re-connecting, high school young-at-hearts stealing away together to experience a little more romance. It is not a 'service' situation so much as an affectionate human bond that is formed between them.
A courtisane client is rarely looking for an hour or two to enjoy company, service and/or intimacy. He is searching for that connection, needing to be refilled and enhanced emotionally. Just as hundreds of different positions within the intimacy period is not conducive to a sensual, sexually healing encounter, so a different girl every time, or short bursts of service is not conducive to these special connections. A courtisane client may see different models, but will usually continue to see the same models again and again, to further the connection they have established. True intimacy and sexual healing or growth is rarely achieved with multitudes of partners, or brief encounters with them.
A client will always defer to a lady's preference within reason, as any intelligent person knows, when a quality lady is happy, her companion is kept very happy! A client may often find oneself falling in love with her, but needs to remember this is not real - this is why one pays for her company. She is providing the illusion, the fantasy of perfection. The client pays for her eternally good mood and giving behavior. There is a reason why she is a fantasy woman, and why that ends when they become too close. She is rarely in a position to want to be 'rescued' anyway, as she has chosen and prefers this life for now - her dynamic spirit is due to the freedom she enjoys in her current lifestyle, and most importantly, the time she has to herself to refresh her soul and remain exclusive to her booking client. Try catching a free butterfly and keeping it in a cage - it doesn't stay vibrant for long... She may settle down in time, but only when she is ready, and rarely with a person who has paid her for her time in the past. Theirs is a respected, caring business relationship, and nothing more. They may genuinely care for each other, but a life together is impractical.
This unique client selection practice is what keeps the courtisane exclusive to her elite client. The woman who accepts all requests just to get as much money as possible, soon sadly loses her exclusivity and is no longer considered an option for the elite client, who understands the difference. Like minded people are brought together, where the price is not so important as the perfect match and the quality experience, a step above the typical. To have a quality relationship, be it part time or full time, there can be no taking. When both are giving, for the pleasure they receive from their partner's joy, without expecting anything in return but knowing they have brought pleasure to another, this is quality.
A natural and healthy connection is where both are giving, therefore both receive, therefore all is balanced well.
***The text provided above has been copied from several resources on the net, and, has been adapted, edited and corrected where appropriate by TS Billie.
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Je t'aime, Moi non plus
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Feb 16, 2009 9:53 pm
3129 Views
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Serge Gainsbourg - Jane Birkin
The song was originally written for and recorded in 1968 with Gainsbourg's then girlfriend, Brigitte Bardot. However, Bardot pleaded with Gainsbourg not to release their recording of the song: she was married at the time, to German businessman Gunter Sachs. Gainsbourg complied. Later that year, Gainsbourg met, and fell in love with, English actress Jane Birkin, on the set of their film Slogan. "Je t'aime... moi non plus" was re-recorded with Birkin replacing Bardot, and was released early in 1969. The explicit eroticism of the song was declared offensive at the time of its release. The lyrics are commonly thought to refer to the taboo theme of engaging in sex without love, and were delivered in a breathy, suggestive style. The song culminates in simulated orgasm sounds by Birkin: mostly because of this, it was banned from radio play in Italy, Poland, Portugal, Spain, and the UK, and denounced by the Vatican in a public statement.
I love you I love you
Oh yes I love you!
Me neither
Oh my love
Like the surge of a wave
I go I go and I come
In between your loins
I go and I come
In between your loins
And I hold back
I love you, I love you
Oh Yes I love you
Me neither
Oh my love
You are the wave I am the naked island
You go you go and you come
In between my loins
You go and you come
In between my loins
And I join you
I love you I love you
Oh yes I love you!
Me neither
Oh my love
Like the surge of a wave
I go I go and I come
In between your loins
I go and I come
In between your loins
And I hold back
You come and you go
In between my loins
And I join you
I love you I love you
Oh yes I love you
Me neither
Oh my love
Physical love is at a dead end
I go I go and I come
In between your loins
I go and I come
In between your loins
I hold back
No! Now come!
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Geisha ... a little history ...
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Dec 7, 2008 8:34 am
1470 Views
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Geisha
The word "gei" in Japanese means art. The Geisha (or geiko) is first and formost, an artist. She is not a prostitue and does not sleep with clients as a part of her job. A geisha may choose to have an affair/be involved, but if she does, it could be with any man, just as it is anywhere else in the world.
If a man in Japan wants sex, there are many bar "hostesses" (they often dress like geisha) who would be more than happy to oblige them for a price...
Mizuage is no longer practiced (not for a loooooong time.) At the time that it was, it was not considered prostitution, but more of a sexual rite of passage for the young woman (also, the geisha mother used it as a way to re-coup some of the enormous debt incurred with boarding/clothing the young woman in extravagant kimono for many years.) After the mizuage, the geisha was not tied to that man in any way.
Not all geisha were "lucky" enough to have a dana. A dana was a man (usually of considerable means,) who was willing to support financially a geisha that he wanted to have a serious relationship with. This might involve setting her up in a house, paying for her dance and music lessons, clothing her in kimono, etc. She would be his mistress, but still work as a geisha, attending banquets/entertaining guests. There were advantages and drawbacks to this. Many times the geisha mother would make the final decision about the dana, which meant that many geisha were trapped in long-term relationships with men they did not love.
Things have considerably changed in the way the geisha mothers treat their "girls." With the demand for geisha dwindeling, and also the lack of young women wanting to enter this profession, geisha mothers treat their girls very well. They want them to stay, not scare them away. Geisha mothers do not "own" these girls any longer.
"Article written by Nubka"
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A little history....
Geisha come out of the "floating world" the era of the pleasure quarters, giving rise to today's "flower and willow world" the world of the Geisha.
The origin of the pleasure quarters is attributed to Saburoemon who asked for, and was granted, license to build a brothel by his ruling warlord. This was placed not far from the Imperial Palace in Kyoto and was called the Yanagimachi or Willow Town.
High class courtesans were used to tempt the gentlemen of Kyoto, however objections were made due to its vicinity to the palace and so it was moved to the now infamous Shimabara. The laws of prostitution at the time kept such activities to walled in isolated pleasure quarters, islands of debauchery where a man might be entertained for the evening at a cost, this meant the culture of the quarters was very insular, if not stagnant.
The courtesans of Shimabara while otherworldly and very sophisticated were none the less "available for the night" at ludicrous prices for those who could afford them.
There were several ranks of Shimabara ladies: the highest were the Tayu, followed by the Koshi and Sancha and at the top of the social hierarchy were the Hashi. The Tayu were said to be extremely extravagant and would often hold impromptu fashion parades by flaunting their sumptous clothing in front of the other courtesans, and in doing so specify a natural hierarchy in the pleasure quarter.
Like so many aspects of Japanese culture the courtesans became highly ritualised with strict etiquette ruling who could associate with the ladies of the pleasure quarters. This made way for a new market niche, entertainers outside the pleasure quarters could legally entertain a man in a less intimate manner freely and without the rules that government the ways of the Tayu. Unlicensed pleasure quarters sprang up all over Japan, the appeal of the free thinking unruly women grew rapidly.
Many of these areas were near to Shinto shrines and offered tea and entertainment to pilgrims, lending the name Ochaya (or tea house) to the establishments at which these girls entertained, though liquor was quick to overtake tea on the menu. The Odoroki or dancing girls were very popular in these areas for entertainment, though as some of the girls grew older it became innappropriate to take this name and so called themselves Geisha after the male Geisha of the pleasure quarters who would entertain men at their banquets before they would retire for the night with the courtesans. These male Geisha, or Taikomochi, may have been the first but they were soon superseded by the popularity of the female Geisha.
The ruling lords at the time saw the trends changing and began to ensure that teahouses were licensed much as the pleasure quarters had been. The laws governing Geisha controlled both the services they were allowed to offer and also the way they dressed, in this way it would hope that they would not serve as a threat to the courtesans being neither able to engage in prostitution nor wear the highly decorative clothing of the Tayu. This gives rise to the simplistic kimono and [relatively] simple hairstyles of the Geisha: the point is understated elegance rather than extravagance.
Licensed Geisha districts grew first in Gion and then spreading to other Hanamachi throughout Japan. The Tayu soon seemed to lose their popularity and today there are no full time Tayu in existence, though a handful of women keep up the tradition by playing out the role in daylight hours for exhibitions.
From then on the Geisha were to be the epitomy of high fashion, usually the forerunners of new trends and "Iki" habits. In turn they too became ritualised and as the Geisha dwindle in number they have become as unreachable to the average man as the Tayu were in the pleasure quarter era. As Western culture has taken hold of Japan the Geisha are no longer the denizens of high fashion but the holders of a traditional culture.
One of the other major changes to the lives of the Geisha came about after World War II. The new laws governing prostitution and entertaining girls meant that girls could no longer be sold into the Geisha life by their families, nor could a Maiko's virginity be bought and sold any longer, removing the long standing Mizuage rite of passage.
Today the Geisha life is a very different one, girls become Geisha by their own free will, and often only stay long enough to get married, much as any other profession in Japan. The Geisha population is slowly dying out and many of the Hanamachi have disappeared in recent times. There are talks of regulating the Geisha world, however whether this will ever occur is uncertain. The stigma of advertising for girls to join the profession has meant that the numbers do not grow, and there is a social understanding that while it may be very elegant to visit a Geisha it is not likely that one would wish their own daughter to become one. Perhaps the Geisha will become another packaged tourist attraction but more likely, as the Tayu became the Geisha, the Geisha will evolve into something more fitting to contemporary Japan.
"Article written by Amaya Booker, from Brisbane, Australia"
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Love,
Billie
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