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how well do you take your punishment?
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Sep 12, 2005 1:12 pm
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Punishment. Its that dreaded word. You know if you do something that is not approved of, you will face it. I suspect most of us revert back to our childhood memories when the threat is hanging over our heads. I do, anyway!
He most frequently gets very quiet and thoughtful. He begins asking me questions, probing for the reason I did whatever he is unhappy about. I know as soon as those questions begin that I am in TROUBLE. He has this knack for laying the questions out very simply but in a way that shows me his thought processes. I can see, quite easily most of the time, how he moves from point A (my actions) to point B (his response to my actions). I wonder if he took lessons from my mom on that? She had exactly the same knack.
His displeasure and disappointment tends to be the worst part of any punishment he gives. It seems as though he knows this and intentionally leaves me alone for a bit, allowing this to sink deeper into my mind. When he finally takes his course of action, it is almost a relief, as I know I will be forgiven. The mental retribution is much worse than the physical.
Which is worse for you? The mental or physical aspects of punishment? What is the worst punishment you have ever received/given? Once it was over, were you able to go back to normal in your relationship?
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ruminations....
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Sep 10, 2005 6:22 pm
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He reads my blog regularly, but doesn't comment here. We discuss things I've written, some at his suggestion, but most of what I write comes from my head, my heart. There are those questions that come up from things I've posted. Has he ever crossed a line? (Not yet.) Who's in control? (He is.) He's the one who asked if I knew I was arousing people with my mind. He says things that pull the questions from me, but not in a bad way.
I was much more comfortable when I felt my blog was obscure, unseen but to those who routinely visited me. There are a lot of names I've seen on a regular basis who have never commented. That's OK, you know. I figure if you keep coming back, then I must be asking questions you find interesting. Knowing that makes me happy, because there are other people out there with the same questions or same thoughts! 
Lately, though? Lately I've felt a little uncomfortable. As though I were some type of imposter here. I've never thought that anything I wrote was a big deal, or that many people would see it. You know how it is, you get used to the interplay that goes on with the people who routinely comment on your blog. You feel as though you "know" them in some manner. It makes me feel wonderful, actually. I know that there are those who truly care, who see this as a friendship that IS of some importance. Now, I feel much more vulnerable. It's as if my blog and what I post is more visible, in some strange way. I see names I don't know, every name is new to me. There's a fear that has formed, a fear I will let him down if I don't continue to be as "seen", the fear that so many will see so much that I've shared. Have I shown too much? Have I once again left myself vulnerable?
I truly thought it would be a one or two day wonder, to be honest. I was pretty certain I would be back to obscurity by now. The difficult question now is to decide what to do! There's a part of me that says to stop blogging for a bit, go back to my comfort zone. There's another part of me that says to continue on. To accept that this is part of sharing the questions, trying to learn, looking for different viewpoints and accepting who I am and what I want.
Tonight, I am very uncertain, and I don't like that feeling. By morning, I may look at this posting and wonder what I was thinking. Either way, it's here, to be read. Not something inspirational or even pretty, but brutal honesty. Sometimes, it's just not a pretty picture.
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prayers....
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Sep 9, 2005 10:11 am
1243 Views
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Another e-mail to share....
FEMALE PRAYER FOR 2005
Before I lay me down to sleep
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks
I pray he's gainfully employed,
when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my feet and begs to do more.
Oh, send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
AMEN.
MALE PRAYER FOR 2005
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a bass boat. This doesn't rhyme,
but I don't give a sh!t.
AMEN.
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guess what?
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Sep 8, 2005 3:16 pm
1197 Views
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Guess who's having a birthday on the 9th? Our own jon8882000!
Here's hoping your birthday is filled with wonderful things, jon!
(Go ahead, wander over to his blog and wish him well! )
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i know it's bad, but i just HAD to!
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Sep 7, 2005 12:50 pm
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I got this in my e-mail today and JUST had to share it!
A three year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mama," he asked, "are these my brains?"
Mama answered, "Not yet."
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can it still work if the line has been crossed?
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Sep 6, 2005 1:43 pm
1201 Views
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One of the things I look for him to do, anticipate him doing, is to push my limits. I am new enough to this that I dont know where my boundaries are for most activities. I trust him, as his actions have continually shown that he holds my best interests always in his mind.
I can see how pushing a limit could become crossing a line, though. The action may not be intentional, but the emotional, mental and/or physical impact cannot be undone. (Of course, this just highlights the critical need for open communication!)
Have any of you had an experience such as this? How did you handle it? Did it damage the trust you had in your partner? If so, were you able to rebuild it?
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bound .....
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Sep 4, 2005 6:11 am
2012 Views
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bound
.. by rope
.. leather
.. metal
bound
.. by wants
.. desires
.. needs
bound
.. by statements
.. promises
.. submission
bound
.. by intentions
.. instructions
.. strength
bound
.. by body
.. heart
.. mind
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a couple of additional relief organizations....
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Sep 3, 2005 1:26 pm
1119 Views
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I received information from another group on a couple of additional organizations that are assisting in the relief efforts. I figured I would pass them along.
The first is Direct Relief International. They provide medical supplies and equipment to areas hit by disaster or war. They have already opened their $35 million medical inventory to the Katrina disaster relief effort. You can learn more about them at directrelief dot org.
Enterprise Corportion of the Delta is a community development financial institution working to encourage large businesses to invest in Arkansas, Louisiana and Mississippi. Their purpose is to promote jobs, home ownership and growth of small businesses in the area. They have set up a relief fund for the immediate and long-term storm recovery efforts. You can learn more about them at ecd dot org.
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i want my 'MAMA!!!!
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Sep 2, 2005 5:01 pm
1177 Views
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As I've wandered through the blogs today, seeing all the pain, all the fear, all the anger, I have become more and more disheartened. This is a time where foulmama's love and compassion is so sorely needed. She has a way of saying exactly the right thing, giving you just the words to give you hope. Her understanding of pain, in all it's many forms, helped ease so many. Today, all I wanted to see was her words of wisdom, her giving spirit, her willingness to open her arms and envelope you in a love so pure, you felt safe for that one moment.
How many must you drive away to feed your ego? How many voices must you still to protect your image?
Today, I truly want my 'mama.
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To link to this blog (WistfulWench) use [blog WistfulWench] in your messages.
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