|
the assignments i hate to love....
|
Sep 2, 2005 12:07 pm
1025 Views
|
He seems to enjoy taking advantage of the fact I work from home on Friday. That is when he comes up with those assignments I hate to love....
Last Thursday, right before we said good night, he told me that if I went online later and saw any e-mail from him, I wasnt to open it until Friday morning. He said it with that little chuckle in his voice, the one the tells me hes enjoying himself immensely. Of course, I had to go online immediately after we parted.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five! Five e-mails?!? I stared at the screen, my stomach twisting itself into knots. Five separate e-mails. No way to know what they said, unless I disobeyed. The little voices in my head, arguing back and forth.
Hell never know if you look.
He told me not to.
But he wont know.
Hell ask. You know it.
So you just dont answer.
That is an answer. You know it and so does he.
* sigh * Curiosity. Tension. Anxiety. What was in those e-mails? I could almost hear him laughing at my frustration. Believe me, getting to sleep that night was NOT an easy thing....
The first one was very innocuous. An easy good morning, a couple of comments and instructions to open the next at 10am. It was enough to lull me into a bit of complacency. I wasnt completely comfortable about the remaining e-mails, but they could all be in the same vein, right? Maybe he was just playing a game, trying to get me nervous about reading them. I started working and was able to put them to the back of my mind.
Until 10am, that is. Im not going to share the details of the remaining e-mails. I will tell you, though, that he can be diabolical at times! When I finally saw him that evening, well, lets just say he had me exactly where he wanted me. (In more ways than one!)
I hate these assignments. I do! I really, really do! Somehow, though, I end up loving them. Especially when I know completing them to his satisfaction brings me so much pleasure!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
some things you just aren't meant to see....
|
Sep 2, 2005 7:10 am
1063 Views
|
There are those who prefer to hide in the shadows, who don't want their actions seen. Eagle has posted something I would like more people to see.
What is happening Behind the lights!!!
Someone told me a few days ago that some people have been erased from ALT, all traces removed. I beg to differ. You can still see them, you just have to look.
dayoffslave
ObeytheGuvnor
Those who hide, who manipulate the shadows to twist what is visible, will eventually be seen. Your attempts to protect your image will be shown. Where will you be then?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
ego versus self-esteem....
|
Sep 1, 2005 3:27 pm
938 Views
|
e·go
1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
3.
a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
self-es·teem
Pride in oneself; self-respect.
Ive asked the question how much is your ego involved in your D/s relationship. There were some very interesting comments made. (Thank you to everyone who responded!) vkindmaster drew an interesting line between ego and self-esteem. He viewed ego as the unhealthy part of self and self-esteem as the healthy part of self. I looked both up to see the definition was that simple. As you can see, it looks as though its not.
It is easy to use ego with a negative connotation. After all, weve all heard of people who are in relationships only to feed their own egos. (My preferred term is power vampire. Dont know where I saw that at, but it works for me!) Since the definition of ego contains both the positive and negative aspects, I am going to continue to use that term for the rest of this posting.
How intertwined is ego with power exchange? Heres how Im seeing it, but I could well be missing something. A sub puts aside all her ego, and the power entailed with it, when she submits to a dom. The dom receives that power, adding it to his own. As his sub responds favorably, he feeds the power back. As both partners stretch their limits, have new experiences, find new levels of trust, the ego power exchanged also increases. Rather than diminishing either partner, both actually realize increased egos, creating more power available to share.
The ego power doesnt necessarily have to be exchanged only during sexual play. It could be her attaining her degree and his pride in her. I can think of a number of situations where his understanding and encouragement could raise her ego to a higher level.
Am I way off base here? Or does any of this make sense? Input, please!
NOTE: All definitions taken from dictionary dawt com.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
an update from foulmama
|
Aug 31, 2005 3:16 pm
1047 Views
|
I received an e-mail today that has upset me tremendously. I know that many people in Blogville will be just as upset when you read her words.
I left a month ago due to ongoing attempts by a few individuals to discredit me. Since Ive been gone, the snipes have continued. Seeing that these individuals get away with anything they choose to do has made me sick to my soul. I may NEVER return, not even to say goodbye. I have some serious thinking to do right now.
Not everyone knows all that has happened this month. Only small parts of the story can actually be seen here on ALT. There is ongoing harassment. A permanently banned member received a notice today that a complaint was received against her and she is permanently banned from the entire network of personals sites. How can a permanently banned member be doing anything to require an additional permanent banning? What good is it to ban the banned? Can you construe it as anything other than harassment?
People who havent been on the site in weeks are being accused of actions they did not commit. They are not the type to play the game of creating multiple profiles, but it has been said that they have done so. Who can speak up for them? They sure cant. Theyre banned from the site, so you cant hear their words.
It pains me to think that Foulmama may not come back, but I can certainly understand why. She will remain a part of this community, though, even if not physically present. Her compassion, humor, concern for others, and loving touch were felt by many. Her loss will be felt by more.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
the name change game
|
Aug 31, 2005 1:55 am
947 Views
|
Ive been thinking about having my handle changed. I know it can be done. Ive seen it done. You can do it without losing your blog, which is the one thing thats been holding me back. Maybe theres a fee to do it? As long as its not horrible, I would consider paying....
Im not wistful these days, so I need a new handle! (OK. I admit that there is still quite a bit of yearning still there, but its directed towards one special somebody!) vkindmaster has already made a suggestion, albeit unintentionally. (Or so he claims! lol) His suggestion is WilfulWench. I had been thinking about ServingWench, myself.
Any other suggestions out there?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
since when is being honest a crime?
|
Aug 30, 2005 3:35 pm
1099 Views
|
I just read a very interesting post Master or Mouse -Stand by your words.. She makes an excellent point when she asks why people no longer stand by their words. Here on ALT, it's because you don't have to.
If you read many posts, eventually you will run into one where someone was hurt. It's usually not physical injury, but mental and emotional pain are just as serious. A couple of weeks ago, one woman posted about the "dom" she met. After he played with her emotions and then stole money from her, he disappeared. That's when she learned that he was a recently released convict. She had met him here on ALT. When she tried to out him, her posting must have been pulled. I've not been able to find it again. I wonder how many more women this man will be allowed to take advantage of. How many more will he hurt? Will the next time be physical?
Yes, yes, I know. Safe, Sane and Consensual. Get to know him first. Meet in public. We all know the rules. But people make mistakes. They think "not me" and mean it. Does that absolve us from any responsibility? Should we all really just turn our heads when we see this happening and take no action?
When you read the Terms of Service, you see how the players can get away with it. They can claim you are harassing them or attacking them personally. ALT will hold you to blame. If you see dishonest behavior, you're not allowed to bring it to light. If you know someone has hurt someone else, you're not allowed to say anything. I constantly find myself astounded that a life style that reveres honesty and open communication would so blindly allow the dishonest to run rampant.
There are a lot of people who are quick to say, "it's not reality. Get a life." You know what? It's not MY reality. In my life, liars get their just rewards.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
how is your mess my fault?
|
Aug 30, 2005 12:34 pm
941 Views
|
Day 2 of the budget process and its already begun....
My conversation today with a member of the I team:
Him: Your information is wrong.
Me: How is my information wrong?
Him: I didnt post that.
Me: Thats what you submitted.
Him: No its not.
Me: Then how else did I get it?
Him: I dont know, but youre wrong.
Me: Well, that was last month. You can fix it this month.
Him: No, you have to fix last month.
Me: Last month is done. Its closed. Were in this month now.
Him: No. You have to fix last month. Its wrong and no one should see it.
Me: I cant change history. Its been seen by hundreds of people already. Why change it?
Him: Because its wrong.
Me: But thats what you submitted.
Him: No I didnt.
Me: Its wrong, its not what you submitted, it needs to be fixed now even though its historical. Why?
Him: I dont want people to see it. They may draw the wrong conclusions.
Me: Then notify everyone who uses this information that you made an error.
Him: I didnt make a mistake. Your information is wrong.
Me: Im good, but even I cant change history. I cant make people unsee what has been seen.
Him: This is all your fault.
How did this become my fault? Im not the one who posted the wrong information. Everyone who works in the program has their own user name and password, so no one BUT him could have posted it. Why is it impossible for some people to just admit that they made a mistake? Is their ego so big that they are above us mere mortals? Why is it so important to rewrite history? Geez! If you screwed up, just apologize to everyone and move forward! Of course, if your apology is structured in a manner that points fingers at someone else, its not much of an apology....
Its only Day 2..... What do I have to look forward to over the next 55-69 days?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
domming the dom? part two
|
Aug 30, 2005 1:49 am
928 Views
|
I was a bit vague in my original question a couple of days ago. It was not intentional, I just hesitated to be too specific in my question. There were some wonderful answers posted, but most asked for additional details. These are the two situations that caused me to ask if the sub was domming the dom.
One situation was social. It was a dom and a sub who are not (to the best of my knowledge) in a relationship with each other. The dom should have been aware of appropriate public behavior, but followed the instructions of the sub. This led to a significant amount of controversy and questioning of the dom's character, as many felt his actions were inappropriate in multiple ways.
The second situation was a sub instructing her dom in a specific sexual activity. I'm not certain what the experience level was for either party. (Everything was presented by the sub on a thread I was reading.) My curiosity was aroused as she was very explicit in her instructions, which left me feeling as though she was the one managing the scene.
Thank you, again, to everyone who responded to the first question. Hopefully the specifics of the situations I've seen will aid in answering my question.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
a blogging experience....
|
Aug 29, 2005 12:49 pm
959 Views
|
|
I pause at the entrance, put off by the darkness, tantalized by the flash of color, a glimpse of laughing eyes, the allure of bright red lips. Gathering my courage, a click and I am moved into a world enclosed. A flash of brilliant blue grabs my attention. I move to it, absorb it, forming an image in my mind of the owner. Out of the corner of my eye, a dance of purple, pulsing with passion. I rush to it, drawn to touch it, to leave a bit of myself to be incorporated into its movement. Another sparkle, a different shade, combinations forming and dissipating. All draw me further and further in, creating a desire to form a color of my own. Finding a comfortable spot, I begin to broadcast my own hue, inviting others to join in. Breezes are formed by those who pass through, chilling and warming at the same time. Touches from those who leave a bit of themselves, adding to the story, making it theirs. Time passes and I realize that my hue has deepened, evolved. I am, yet am not, the tint I began this journey as. Those who have cared enough to touch have enriched me far beyond my expectations. I can only hope that I have given the same I have received.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
thought to ponder....
|
Aug 29, 2005 1:26 am
882 Views
|
"The person who rolls up their sleeves seldom loses their shirt."
~Thomas Cowan
I really do enjoy the motivational thoughts sent around at work. I had to laugh when I saw this one. The timing of it CAN'T be accidental! We start our budget process today. It's hell on wheels for the next 8-10 weeks as we begin the 4-6 iterations to get it approved and finalized. Think a hint is being sent around to all of us?
Wonder what you're supposed to do if you're wearing a sleeveless top.... Take it off?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (WistfulWench) use [blog WistfulWench] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
71
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
|
