|
domming the dom?
|
Aug 28, 2005 3:31 pm
1280 Views
|
Something has me a bit confused, so Im putting the question to Blogville. If a sub gives you (the big, strong domly type) instructions on your behavior, do you follow them? Or would you stand up for yourself and do what you considered appropriate? Is domming the dom the behavior you expect from a submissive?
I admit that I may be misunderstanding some of what Im reading. Ive seen comments made on a couple of sites now where a sub says she has told a dom (hers or otherwise) how to behave in a specific situation. Im struggling to grasp this as not topping from the bottom. Or is it only considered topping if its your own dom you are instructing?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
the task is almost completed.....
|
Aug 28, 2005 8:27 am
1182 Views
|
The lovely london broil I marinated yesterday is in the crock pot, sending delicious odors wafting through the apartment.
Another hour to make the salad and fix the snap peas and my task for today is completed.
Wonder of wonders! I will actually have an afternoon to relax.... Nothing to do!
WOOO HOOOOOOO!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
definitions to live by?
|
Aug 27, 2005 12:21 pm
1009 Views
|
hon·es·ty
1. The quality or condition of being honest; integrity.
2. Truthfulness; sincerity: in all honesty.
3. Archaic. Chastity.
4. Botany. A European plant (Lunaria annua) cultivated for its fragrant purplish flowers and round, flat, papery, silver-white seedpods. Also called money plant, satin flower, silver dollar.
in·teg·ri·ty
1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.
truth·ful
1. Consistently telling the truth; honest.
2. Corresponding to reality; true.
sin·cer·i·ty
The quality or condition of being sincere; genuineness, honesty, and freedom from duplicity.
du·plic·i·ty
1.
a. Deliberate deceptiveness in behavior or speech.
b. An instance of deliberate deceptiveness; double-dealing.
2. The quality or state of being twofold or double.
I guess if it's not done intentionally, then its really not duplicitous? Honesty can be claimed?
NOTE: All definitions taken from dictionary dawt com.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
my phone call with J
|
Aug 27, 2005 4:06 am
764 Views
|
Now, I don't know why I did it. At the time, it seemed like a good idea....
I called him. We spent an hour or so on the phone. He can be so charming sometimes. You know, that little boy enthusiasm that is so contagious? He has it. He had me laughing at his jokes and was very engaging. We talked about football, different things going on in our lives, and some of our interests. The name dropping was somewhat irksome, though. You know people like that, I'm certain. Every other sentence has to include the name of someone who's well known, and, of course, he knows them, or has spoken with them. He took every opportunity to highlight just how important he is, how well known he is in certain circles. *sigh* I always wonder if people who feel the need to do that are truly comfortable with themselves or their actions. After all, why is it so important to blow your own horn so strongly? Are you afraid no one else will blow it?
I am glad I called him, though. He's settled on Staten Island with his girlfriend and his folks have moved to Florida. Maybe I WILL take them up on the invitation to visit this winter! 
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
sensations....
|
Aug 26, 2005 11:01 am
884 Views
|
leather caressing my neck
rigid, yet soft
restrained, yet freed
resigned, yet jubilant
metal caressing my nipples
cold, yet warmed
clamped, yet unfettered
constricted, yet unshackled
cotton caressing my wrists
tethered, yet liberated
tamed, yet wild
trapped, yet released
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
here we go...... again!
|
Aug 26, 2005 3:43 am
837 Views
|
Well! Why should I be surprised? Someone speaks the truth and they are once again banned. Does anyone else find that to be a bit, shall we say, questionable?
She used no names. She modified his advertisement so that no one could identify the location. He's still here, but she's banned.
WTF is up with that?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
when does pushing limits become crossing the line?
|
Aug 24, 2005 12:58 am
864 Views
|
DarkGoddess made an excellent point in her comment on my last posting. She pointed out the danger in decision making mid-scene. I should have been very clear in my initial comments that I was not talking about actually changing the current scene or addressing limits while in sub space. My intention was to point out that some people (and I include myself in this group) find it easier to vocalize desires and feelings while there. Societal pressure becomes less or non-existent at that time, so many inhibitions are removed in order to allow more open discussion.
Of course, now that she has kindly pointed out this lapse of consideration, I have another question to ask. When does pushing limits become crossing the line? Do you discuss when, where and how you are going to have your limits pushed? Do you just set certain areas as open for pushing while other areas are completely off limits? (For the dominant partner, please consider all these questions from your view if you care to answer.)
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
my response to consider a sub....
|
Aug 22, 2005 1:46 pm
810 Views
|
This is the response that I have posted in jon8882000s blog posting, [post 27237]. I feel that he has asked a couple of very important questions that have not received any answers from the submissive side. Please feel free to comment either here or in his blog.
I've been watching this post quite closely as I feel you have asked some important questions. Surprisingly, no subs have responded, so I will take the plunge.
This response is going to be somewhat lengthy, as I need to share some of my personal experience in order to fully explain my answer. Since I feel that you have asked some important questions, I am also going to cross post this response in my own blog to see if the comments offer a different view.
When I first entered into my current relationship, my intention was to be a friend to this wonderful man. We had several discussions on many topics, such as limits, what we were each looking for and personal definitions of common terms like top and bottom, dom and sub, master and slave. There were also discussions on life issues, personal goals, and common interests. I actually looked to him for guidance in other relationships I was pursuing, as I trusted his judgement and the way he conducted himself. I was a bit taken aback when he told me that he perceived our friendship as more than I thought it was. After more discussion and taking some time to think about it, I realized that much of what I was looking for in other men was right in front of me. The situation was not ideal, but it also wasn't impossible. I did have some initial trepidation about moving from a friendship to something more, but the results to date have made me very glad I made that decision.
During one of our sessions, he asked if I wanted him to be my master. I told him yes. At that time, that very moment he asked the question, the answer I gave was completely honest. I was comfortable with it as I thought I understood the definition we both had agreed to. There was a bit of discussion about that topic later, but neither of us went into great detail about the feelings involved or any expectations that had been set by that response. I believe that this is really what led to our first disagreement. He took my response as an honest answer (which it was) and I felt that we were both comfortable with continuing on in our current actions. Unfortunately, that was not the case. He had some expectations of my behavior that I was not aware of. I stumbled, quite badly, and let him down. At the time, I felt justified in what I was doing as it was my normal activity. It wasn't until we had a detailed conversation on July 31 that I was able to understand exactly what had happened and how he really felt about this situation. Believe me when I tell you the remorse from my actions was overwhelming. Was I denying what I had said six weeks earlier? No. Not at all. I just didn't have a full understanding of what my statement meant to HIM or how it had changed his expectations of my behavior.
Jenny bbwsub21 has given me the perfect description for what happens during a scene. She calls it the sub-space truth serum. That is the perfect description for what happens to me. What I say while in a scene is the truth. Does that mean I want to take those statements back at a later time? Not really. Most frequently, they are truths I have not wanted to admit, whether to myself or to him. The fact that he draws the answers forth forces me to face them, evaluate them, question myself and then become comfortable with them. When asked at a later time how I feel about these responses, I am being quite honest in those answers as well. It's not always something I want to share with him yet, but it doesn't negate the response. Admittedly, this goes back to my own issues with trust and fears from previous relationships. You may have noticed that trust has been an important topic in my blog lately. violently made a remarkable statement that I've been trying to keep forefront in my mind. You have to start out trusting and let the person prove that they DON'T deserve it. This is an important concept in building a strong D/s or M/s relationship.
I fully agree with vkindmaster's comment that any statements or responses given during a scene should be revisited at a later time. I'm a bit surprised, though, at your own response to his suggestion. If my master didn't believe what I said to him during and AFTER a scene, I'm not certain why he would want to be with me. He knows how important honesty is to me and I have consistently given him the same courtesy in that area that I expect to receive. If you believe that your sub's responses are "flakey" or unreliable, then maybe you aren't involved with a person who is right for you. Of course, my personal situation may be nothing like your own, so I could be drawing an incorrect conclusion. After all, I have given you the details of one important miscommunication right here in my response.
If you trust your sub and feel that you are both communicating honestly, then I would say that all aspects of the communication are important. Some things that are said in the heat of the moment are more honest than the hedging that can occur at other times. If she is confirming what was said at that time when you discuss it later, then maybe she truly believes it. Maybe the answer is that all aspects of the communication need to be taken together in order to understand what she is really feeling?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (WistfulWench) use [blog WistfulWench] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
71
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
|
